Unbroken

Chapter 1

For as long as I could remember my mother had always wanted me to be a prim and proper lady. She was always trying to squeeze a little more femininity in me. I felt like she thought I was a damp towel. Like she could wring the tomboy out of me and force me to absorb a desire for bows and frills.

Whenever I was caught going bare foot around the castle I was punished. Going outside was completely out of the question. Of course, I didn't let this stop me. On the occasional time when I did manage to escape the confines of the walls I would climb trees. Often this would require me to ditch my expensive and restricting gown and climb in my underclothes. Whenever my mother caught me she would scream in terror and embarrassment at her little princess being caught out in her underthings. This would ensure a serious reprimanded. Whenever I abandoned the imaginary tea in the porcelain tea pot to join my comrades in combat with my imaginary sword I was chastised. The simple act of refusing to wear bows earned quick discipline from my mother. A skinned knee was the subject of utmost castigation. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless it was considered appropriate for a young lady.

I used to sit at the window and watch the other children outside the walls as they played. There was a small river nearby. The boys would dive in without a thought. The girls waded in the river with their skirts hiked up to their knees. I could almost hear their shrieks as the boys would splash the girls. I would imagine the feeling of the cool water rushing around my legs and the smooth sand in between my toes. Mother never allowed me to join the other children. If I was caught trying to escape she would send me to my room without dinner. Needless to say, she thought that I missed quite a few meals. My maid Julianne would sneak food up to me while my mother was enjoying a fancy dinner. If it weren't for Julianne I would have gone hungry quite often.

After she finished eating mother would come up to my room and smooth down my hair as I gave my most convincing fake sob into my pillow. She would tell me that it was my fault I was hungry. If I hadn't been so very naughty she would have allowed me to eat the fancy dinner with her and her friends. She would stroke my hair and tell me that I was so much better off than the other children I could see from my window. If I were to play with them they would rub off on me. She would tell me that it was so much better to be a princess than it was to be a commoner.

I didn't understand what she was talking about.

I could see those children.

They looked so much happier than I felt.

They had loving families. They had their freedom. I saw the smiles on their faces and wished to trade places. I had seen the little girls making each other crowns out of flowers and leaves as they pretended to be a princess like me. I would have traded them places in a heartbeat without a second thought never to look back. I hated this life and everything that it brought with it. My mother didn't understand.

My mother was a difficult woman to live with but I knew she loved me deep down. In her own twisted sort of way. She would tell me how much my misbehavior pained her. As she would lock me in my room she would say that it hurt her to the core to punish me. As a child I couldn't understand her way of loving me but it was still love in her mind. Luckily for me I had Julianne to teach me what real love looked like. In many ways she was more of a mother to me than my own mother. My mother used neglect and criticism because it was the only way she knew how to love because it was how she had been shown love by her own mother. My father on the other hand was a warm kind man but I rarely saw him. Mother encouraged him to spend time with his many sons and leave the raising of his only daughter to her. When I was much younger she had told him that she wanted to live separately. She left him at our castle in the middle of our kingdom and hauled me out to the summer home. "A small cottage" my mother would say with a smile as I looked up at the enormous towers and high walls. My mother's idea of a small cottage was still an enormous castle that could have easily accommodated twelve large families with an abundance of room to spare. My father tried to visit as often as possible but I didn't see him that often. Over the years the visits became more and more sparse. The last time I had seen him was on my twelfth birthday and that had been six years ago. I knew that he tried to visit but mother kept him away.