Down the Rabbit Hole

The Rabbit Hole

"I think you know how this goes right Ms. Winters?" the therapist grinned widely at me.

"Yes sir." I nodded nervously. Hypnosis was always scary for me. I never knew what they were going to get out of me. I hate re living events in my past. Especially ones I can't remember. They were forgotten for a reason.

"Now I'm going to begin taping what you say on my tape recorder, I just need your consent."

He slid a paper along the glass coffee table along with a pen.

" please sign on the dotted line Ms."

Shakily I gripped the pen and signed my name. For some reason I feel as if I'm making a mistake, I've done this many many times. But it feels different this time and not a good different. I've seen Dr. Green for many many years so I'm comfortable with him... it's just what's inside head I'm not comfortable with. I've gone through some trauma over the years and lost some of my memories... along with losing my mother at a young age. I just can't remember...

"Perhaps we should go ahead and begin, shall we?" He pulled out his stop watch and cuffed his sleeves.

"I'm going to ask you to count down from 10 and as soon as I snap you should be tranced."

"Yes sir." I muttered. As I closed my eyes I began to count down from 10-1
As soon as '1' left my lips, relaxation was abruptly replaced with discomfort as it felt there were hands coming from the reclined chair pinning me down into a frozen state. Terrified all I could do was try and thrash my arms out of the painful grip.

"Woah there! Relax Kidiza!" Dr. Green came to the recliner and tried to hold me down, probably so I didn't hurt him or myself.

I realized there was absolutely no turning back now. The hands were pressing so aggressively into my skin it felt like they was tearing into me. Even thought it was all in my head I couldn't help but let out cries in fear and in pain.

"It's all in your head Kidiza. If you want it to stop you can make it stop. No need to be at battle with yourself."

I tried to relax, taking even deeper breaths trying to convince my own body that it would be okay. "It's all in my head, it's all in my head, it's all in my head." I repeated.
Over the course of what felt like hours the pain finally subsided.

"Are you okay? Do you feel comfortable continuing?" He asked.

I let out a breath of relief. "Yes I'm okay. And I'd like to just continue please." let's just get this over with.

"Good. Now that you're relaxed we can begin the process. I'm just going to go over what you might feel or see during this just so you're not alarmed when you get there. You will see things that may frighten you, as well as things that may trigger deep memories you've forgotten. And that's what we were trying to do today, is trigger those memories you've forgotten over the years. And hopefully put you at final peace with yourself..."

I looked up at him. "Nothing... nothing in there can hurt me right?"

"No never. They may threaten you or get close to you but nothing will be able to lay a hand on you. Stay firm with your ground and make your presence bigger than theirs and everything should be fine. Now Ms. Winters. If you can state your name, todays date and count down from ten to one... Whenever you are ready."

Nodding, I spoke faintly. "My name is Kidiza Winters, the date is November the Eighth Twenty-Twenty-Eight. I will begin the countdown now..." I trailed off.