Attending SOPA

Chapter 7

*Two Months Later*
"Hajoon, there is something I have to tell you." I said, looking down at my bed.
"What is it, what's wrong?" Hajoon asked, looking concerned.
"Well, the thing is, I really like you." I blurt.
"Shelly. . ." Hajoon said, getting off his bed to sit next to me.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You have no idea. . . I like you too." Hajoon said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, you were all alone on your first day at SOPA, so I approached you. You were shy, but pretty nice. Not to mention, beautiful. I'm so glad that we might get to debut together." Hajoon said.
"Aww, Hajoon. Then, should we date?" I asked.
"Listen, JYP is a little strict on dating, let's keep it on the down low for now. If they catch us, our careers are over before they start." Hajoon said.
"Right." I said.
Hajoon kisses my cheek, smiles, then goes back to his bunk. I smile back at him. I can't believe that just happened. I wouldn't expect to date someone when I got to Korea. I thought I would have to date until I got done with school and debut. I guess I didn't have to date.

That night, I only dreamt of Hajoon. I knew someday that I would date a very cute, loving Korean boy, but I didn't think it would come so soon. Now, hoping that JYP will be nice to us about it, even take our relationship to their advantage by letting us debut together. It's all up to them and what they think of their two young, potential trainees dating. Personally, I think it's fine as long as it doesn't get in the way of our education and training. Tomorrow, I will tell Hajoon that we should tell JY Park right away about our relationship. It's only to keep us save within the company. Hajoon is afraid to tell him because after we debut, there is a dating ban for three years. It said that right in the contract. I must of grazed over it while reading over it. I guess wr truly will date in secret for now until we debut, and even three years afterwards.

That next morning, Hajoon and I catch a taxi to SOPA and go to our classes as per usual. Whenever we're away from JYP, Hajoon and I find every chance we can to show affection to each other. If we did that in the company, they would definitely end our relationship, then end our debut. Hajoon is always finding the perfect hiding spots for us to be all coupley, away from anyone's sight. I find it cute that he wants to keep us so secretive. If we were back in America, I would be taking him everywhere, showing him off to all my friends. I guess it's just a different dating culture in South Korea. I respect Hajoon's decision to keep things private for now.

As the days went on at JYP, I'm realizing that this isn't really the career I wanted. I don't want the fame, I don't want my privacy ripped away from me. I don't want to be forced to diet because I have to be this exact weight. I don't want to deal with dating rumors or fan wars.
"Hajoon. . . I'm really not happy in this trainee life." I said.
"What do you mean?" Hajoon asked.
Then, I continued to explain to him what I'm most concerned with, what I wouldn't want to deal with once becoming an idol.
"Well, hmm. . . Could you just explain that to our boss. Like, you don't really want this. I could help you keep going as a trainee if you change your mind." Hajoon said.
"I just don't know if I could handle being famous." I said.
"I understand. Ask for your privacy from the company. They might give it to you." Hajoon said.
"Alright, I'll keep this up until my debut. After debutting, I will see how I feel." I said.
"There's the spirit." Hajoon said, "I wouldn't want you to give up on your dream."
"Thanks, bae. You're the best." I said, kissing his cheek.
"I'll always have your back." Hajoon said.

Before going to bed that same night, I went over to who would likely be our manager. I explained to him that I am feeling unmotivated and scared of debut because of what may happen. He told me this;
"Not everyone is cut out to be an idol. Listen, you would be the only one of your kind to debut. That is a huge deal, JYP has never had a person of south Asian decent debut. You would inspire other Filipinos and people of mixed race to try becoming an idol too. Look at all the positive possibilities that could happen. You're here, you're in JYP, one of the largest and most successful K-Pop companies. You should be proud to even be a trainee here. I wish you all the best in your journey. Now, do you feel a little better about it?"
"Wow. . . Thank you manager. Your words really drove me to reach for the stars. I'm looking forward to debut now." I said.
"Good, keep up the good work kid." He said.
"Thanks." I said, then returned to my dorm.

Hearing those endearing words from my soon-to-be manager really motivated me. I know that I can't just give up now. I have to keep going, I have to make my family proud. When tough times come, I know Hajoon will always be around to support me. In all the dark times of trainee life and idol life, I can always count on Hajoon. We only started dating, but it isn't official until we make it public. Things are sure to get a whole lot easier once we debut. I'm looking forward to the day when Hajoon and I get to travel all over the world together and perform on stage. I always thought it would be so fun to go around and perform like idols do. Oh, when my debut day comes, I will be so happy.