Close your eyes before you sleep (by Walking_dreams)

8.

"Zayn, do you or Liam ever tie each other up or spit on each other? Like while you're, you know, fucking?" Louis asks casually when it has bottled up inside of him for over a week.

The silence in the kitchen is deafening.

"That's none of your fucking business, bro," Zayn finally snaps at him, resuming his putting the dishes away. He ends up slamming the spoons into the drawer.

Louis winces. He knows it's none of his business. But keeping his thoughts to himself, letting them circle and circle inside his head, has been driving him crazy for weeks, and Zayn's his best friend. He can't think of asking anyone else. "I know, I'm sorry. Just, Zayn, please, mate, I need to know." Needs to know if this is something that healthy couples do. Needs to know if Harry needs help and is scared to admit it. Harry has seemed normal the time they saw each other since the Bruise Incident, but even if he wasn't okay, he could be doing a good job of hiding it. Louis doesn't know what he can believe anymore.

Zayn levels him with the most annoyed expression he's gotten out of him since the time he used all of Zayn's shampoo and then replaced it with the generic brand. "None of your business. Why the hell do you want to know, anyways?" He doesn't sound as angry as before, as if the shock of the question is wearing off.

"It's complicated," Louis replies, as if complicated is enough of an explanation. So far, he's successfully avoided all questions about Harry and his piss-poor moods. He wants to keep that trend going.

Zayn huffs and rolls his eyes. The tension doesn't leave his shoulders. "You aren't like, hoping to be invited to join, are you?" He says it dismissively, emphasizing that Louis should not be anticipating such an invitation.

"God no," Louis retorts. That was the completely last thing on his mind. Well, maybe not the last, but that was just because Zayn was the second hottest person on the planet and Liam wasn't far behind him.

"Is this about why you've been such a fucking prick lately?" Zayn asks smoothly. He sounds much calmer. "Are we going to actually talk about that?"

Louis groans. He has been a prick, short-tempered, snappy, and purposefully leaving his socks and dishes places they don't belong. Zayn deserves an explanation, if only for being the best mate he could possibly ask for and knowing when to leave him to drown in his own thoughts. Maybe the trend needs to stop. He doesn't answer for a long moment, mulling it over.

"Harry and Nick are into it," he finally blurts out, and feels foolish. Zayn knows now, has got to be able to read his feelings right on his face.

"How exactly do you know what Harry and his boyfriend are into, why does it matter, and oh yeah, what the hell does that have to do with me and Liam?" Zayn speaks slowly, clearly not getting it. Maybe Louis isn't as transparent as he thought.

"It's just. I don't understand," Louis spits out.

"You don't have to understand, Lou, no one is trying to tie you up in bed." Zayn has stopped putting the dishes away to stare at him. Louis studiously avoids his eyes.

"I don't understand why anyone would want to! Harry has bruises, Zayn, that's not okay!" Louis grinds out.

"Jesus, Lou. Just mind your own business." Zayn is shaking his head at him.

"I've tried, I'm going mental. Look, I just need to know if it's like normal, and you and Liam have the most normal relationship ever. Like, you guys are boring normal, you know? Fucking married, I swear to God. I just thought I'd ask, I'm sorry." Louis thinks he sounds strangled. It's just that Googling "bondage in relationships" had a horribly clinical Wikipedia article as a top result and the second result was an article about Fifty Shades of Grey and abuse and at that point, he was too freaked out to read more.

"It's not something we do regularly," Zayn says slowly. "Liam prefers to—wait, no I'm not telling you a thing. Just, there's nothing wrong with it. It's not like some twisted awful thing."

"Bruises, though," Louis protests.

"Come on, you've sucked bruises into my neck for fun, and that wasn't the end of the world." He's pretty sure Zayn is laughing at him now.

"I watched some porn—"

"Seriously? Louis, in case it's ever been unclear, I really don't want to hear about your habits." Zayn actually laughs this time.

"Shut up—it seemed so awful and like degrading. It's not like that?" Louis sounds and feels like a child. God, he feels like some sort of super virgin, and he hasn't been a virgin in years. He's heard of bondage before, but he's never given it any thought at all and now it's being shoved in his face in little flashes of purple bruises around Harry's wrists and spitting on people.

"This is the last thing I will ever say on the subject, Lou, I swear to God: watch better porn. It's not necessarily like that. God. Now fuck off, please." Zayn turns his back to Louis and resumes putting away the dishes, muttering to himself.

Louis takes his advice. He manages to find some more amateur, do-it-yourself style videos, and one couple giggles and kisses their way through tying each other up and slowly fucking. He feels better (he might even think it's kind of hot). He'd feel a lot better if not for the fact that Harry is doing this with Nick.