unsteady • tyler joseph

one

tyler sadly frequented this place quite a bit.

the white stark walls had become his home, and upon entry he exchanged a smirk at his favorite nurses. they shot him a sad smile, upset that he was back yet again.

tyler only knew himself in these walls. in his darkest hour.

two of his nurses followed tyler and the doctor into his room. they all knew the drill by now.

emptying his pockets, they pulled out the blade, as well as his busted up flip phone. hoodie strings were snipped, and tyler frowned. he just bought that one at the store the other day. shame, although it was blood stained anyhow.

given sweatpants and a green crewneck, the team had tyler undress to assess the full damage. white ragged scars layered themselves below fresh angry red. bruising and friction burn lined tyler's neck, making it look almost black. even the sight was suffocating. the nurses shook their heads, fighting back tears.

once patched up, tyler was sat on his bed staring at the wall. he hated himself in here. his worst fears came to light. his family had all but given up on him. they were done trying.

tyler stared at the wall a bit before looking over. the second bed was empty, yet a backpack laid below it. tyler shrugged it off, returning to his own mind.

"tyler? dr. mckay would like to see you."

tyler let out a small sigh and slowly got up from the bed, wincing at the effort. he was fully aware that he looked like a mess, gauze wrapping up his arms and legs, neck an angry shade of purple. his hair was a fluffy train wreck, sticking out every which way.

he made his way with the nurse through the dayroom, locking eyes with other patients. a blonde girl with stark blue eyes, a brunette, a red haired boy all looked up from their place by the tv to see him. tyler peaked their interest for about five seconds before they turned back to their own devices. fresh patients were sadly not an odd occurrence in those walls.

//
inside the office, the older doctor took a look at the boy's chart, his brow furrowing. tyler spaced out, and focused on his grey peppered hair rather than what the doctor was actually saying.

"tyler joseph, male, 18. admitted this morning at 5 a.m, after being found hanging from the ceiling fan, covered in his own blood. suicide attempt." mckay stated, flipping through the chart. abruptly, he put down the papers, leaning onto the mahogany desk to get a better look at tyler.

"tyler, this is the third—"
"third time is year, i know."

beat. silence.

"you don't seem upset by that fact."
"i'm not upset that i'm in here."
"why?"

"i'm upset i keep failing."

the doctor let out a concerned sigh.

"tyler, i want to help you. what can i do?"

tyler looked up into the doctors steely grey eyes with his own brown ones.

"if you really wanted to help you'd let me die already." tyler drew out, leaning over the table.

"you're gonna be in here for awhile this time bud. i hope you know that. this isn't a three day stop anymore. we're gonna help you get better okay?"

beat. silence again.

"i'm upping your dose of Lexapro to..." the doctor started. tyler soon tuned out.

he was tired of everything. but mostly living. he was tired of living.

//

later that night, tyler sat in his room, yet again staring at wall. he couldn't stop his racing thoughts.

that was interrupted soon by a struggled yelling coming running down the hall.

"get off of me! stay away!" a voice cried out, running from the nurses chasing after him. a loud thud was heard as he was tackled to the ground.

"stop it! i don't fucking belong here!" the voice sobbed out. tylers eyes grew wide as he realized the voice was getting closer.

suddenly, the door swung open, and two nurses led a crying boy into the room, sitting him on the bed. they talked to him in soft whispers as the kid rocked himself back and forth, still sobbing and shaking.

eventually, the nurses left and the boy calmed down, leaving the two kids in silence.

the other sprung up from
his bed, standing up. tyler's eyes went wide and he soon did the same. that was the first time tyler got a good look at the patient. messy brown curls, mocha eyes, small smirk.

the boy smiled and extended a hand out to tyler, and he stood there in awe for a minute. equally terrified and intrigued.

"hi. i'm josh."