black ribbons (jensoo)

chapter twelve

'So.' Jennie cleared her throat as she settled on the couch with Jisoo's laptop and another mug of coffee. 'How does this work?'

'See the little button at the top right of the keyboard? If you press it the pretty lights will come on.'

'No, I mean...am I allowed to I talk to you? Or is this like your meditative time?'

'I actually need absolute silence or my chakras won't align and I might sprain a feng shui.'

'Gosh, you just get funnier and funnier as the day goes on.'

'Exponentially.'

'Mm.' Jennie was silent as Jisoo lay down on a yoga mat and began her usual pre-class warm-ups; just little stretches at first, waking up muscles for the day, or in this case trying to persuade them to cooperate. 'Would you mind if I drew you?'

'You have to ask?'

'Some people don't like it. Though I've never actually asked anyone who was unshowered and about to work out.'

'Well goodness, that's so charming I couldn't possibly say no.' Jisoo craned her head and gestured at the big wooden cabinet. 'There's paper over there, and I think I owned a pencil once.'

'Thanks for the offer, but I actually need canvas and freshly-mined graphite.'

'I'm glad you're here,' said Jisoo sincerely, not really meaning to say it out loud and not really minding that she had. 'I was afraid that after the gala this would all just...stop. You'd go back to your world and I'd go back to mine.'

'There's a young adult novel in there somewhere,' teased Jennie, but her eyes were soft.

'I mean it. I know it's a lot to take in. You don't just get me, you get some unholy package deal which comes with late nights and bonus choreographers walking in at all hours, and whatever this is that I'm doing right now.' Jisoo had to smile as it dawned on her how much time she spent there on the floor, decompressing, stretching, collapsing. Definitely not normal. 'It's new for you, and some of it is just objectively weird, so. Thanks.'

'If I get you, I'd say that's pretty good compensation for Lisa disturbing my beauty sleep.' The designer glanced at her innocently over the top of the paper she'd retrieved from the cupboard. 'Although if you'd told me you'd be spending the morning on your back, I'd have had something else in mind.'

'Temptress.'

Jisoo didn't have a permanent setup or a folding barre, preferring to take class at the company rather than do full warmups at home, but she had thoroughly confused the staff at the local furniture auction by testing chairs not only by sitting on them, but by turning them round to check the height for pliés. Jennie didn't bat an eyelid when she dragged one out and positioned it side-central in the space, having evidently got at least semi-used to dancers and their oddities. 'You don't need me to move?'

'You're fine. I turn to work the other leg, so the lateral movement's all to this side.' Jisoo grimaced dramatically as she untangled her earbuds. 'If I get that far.'

As much as she liked to complain, and as much as she felt the tiredness in her muscles and the soreness in her ankle, the really bad days were few and far between. The comfortable rhythms of warmups and class were enough to soothe most things; she wondered sometimes if the familiarity would ever turn to boredom, but for now, it felt necessary. Nothing mattered but making each movement as perfect as possible. It was important, but it wasn't complicated. After a week of tension, nerves, anger, desire, release, it felt like coming up for air.

Neat fifths. Don't over-cross. Stretch the supporting knee. Keep the relevés bright. Turn out. Even without a mirror, corrections came to mind automatically, ingrained from years of teachers. She had planned for one great love in her life, and that was her job, and it had been good to her - but the world was widening around her, casting her adrift, and she couldn't even be mad about it. The life that had stretched out before her for as long as she could remember, measured in classes and opening nights and new roles, had been thrown off course. Jisoo had always been driven by her inner certainty that that was the life she was meant to have, but suddenly she was less certain than ever and happy about it.