Ramblings.

Greed;

It starts with two people. It takes years to build trust and a leap of faith to like them. But what happens when it drags on, with no end in sight? There was a goal: to be together. But when you would come across that part, you could never see.

It was always just right around that corner. Soon. Soon. Soon. And before you knew it, it turned to not so soon. Further away, you were running backwards. Then, you just stop. Looking around, you don’t even know where you are. Why? What happened in order to lose sight of what was supposed to be gratifying?

Where did it go wrong? Who’s to blame?

Him, who never made any effort or future plans?

Her, who thought he’d always be there so she would wait and fill her time with meaningless faces until then?

Her friend, who made a promise, but didn’t follow through?

Light before sound. You can see your world breaking, you can feel it; but it takes days before you physically hear it. When you do, it’s loud and it hurts. It’s like a car accident. All you can do is stare. You don’t dare help, because then blood would be on your hands. You just look. Gawk at the disaster that’s happening. It’s both amazing and tragic.

He goes home, happy. She goes home distraught.

Is he greedy for his happiness? Or is she because he was hers, and no one else’s?

All your plans, gone. Thrown away in a single second. Four years of building trust has been burned. It’s like having your favorite shoes be trashed. You can replace them, but they will never feel like the old ones. They’ll never fit right, and all you can do is wonder where you went wrong.

Happiness for him is easy. Go see his new her. Happiness for her requires sadness from everyone else. Her heart says kill, her brain says no.

Would it be greedy to hide away forever? Take her life and leave new her for him? He’d not have to worry about her being upset anymore, and he could live his life happy. He wouldn’t have to worry about greed. He’d have new her, and that’s all he would need.

She would have escaped the feeling of everything she trusts turning her back on her. All would be right, and it would only take one bullet.

Is greed really worth it? One side is happiness with another, the other is happiness because they escaped the uncontrollable feeling of their lost trust.