regrets from me who didn't see you suffer.
in my arms as i called you mine.
the light in your eyes disappeared as time passed and i didn't bother to question it.
wish serendipity hit me earlier.
wish i could bring you back, my sunshine.
disclaimer.
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"happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to you~ happy birthday, my sunshine~ happy birthday to you~"
his eyes twinkled as he heard my voice, saw me slowly walking to him with a cake in my hands- i innerly hoped the candle wouldn't turn off yet. simple thoughts as i was getting nearer and nearer to him. i stopped as i arrived and smiled like a dummy at him, stared at his beautiful face. his hands caressing my shoulders, he took a huge gasp, closed his eyes and blew the candle off. the smoke was actually getting into my face but i didn't care. the moment was too special- simple but special-
"...happy birthday, seungie.", i whispered but he heard it, opened his eyes and gave me a lovely peck on my lips. our foreheads connected and he stared deeply into my eyes. his ones were filled with passion and love. i could stare at them all day. "thank you, sweetie. ...thank you so much." before i could realize it, he took the cake already and placed it at the table, cutting it.
we spend the whole day in my apartment- talking and watching dumb videos...and eventually lost my virginity-
"so first of all, thank you for sharing with me. it's very detailed, this must've been a really important moment, mrs. lee.", dr. choi looked into my eyes, he's really interested, i can tell but something's off. something's always off. but at least i know what this is. yes. the fact he's only interested because he's getting paid. the fact i booked an appointment here with him.
i smile slightly at the doctor. "yes, it was something i'll never forget-", i breathe out.
"before we continue...tell me more about you, mrs. lee. which subjects do you like? your hobbies? your family?"
a sigh left my body before i started talking. "please call me haejin, dr. choi." he nods thoughtfully and notes something down. probably something like: "doesn't want to be an adult yet- dislikes to be treated like an adult".
"i'm lee haejin. born in 2001, 17 years old. i'm finishing school this year. you could say i nearly do everything as a hobby...i dance, sing, play various instruments, draw and more. i also live alone in my apartment, so i don't see my family as much. it only consists of my mother though.", monotone words fill the white room and the psychiatrist writes lots and lots of things down. i'm actually not sure whether i should be afraid of that or not. but i guess i'm just at the point where i don't seem to give a fuck about anything.
