55 - I Chose [Edited✅]

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I rest my head on the lap of the last person I thought I'd go to.

"It just hurts Ma." I sob.

She strokes my hair soothingly, "I know baby."

I sit up, looking at her through my blurry vision, "What do I do now? Eric is such a sweet guy but he's a gangster. And Carter," I smile through my sadness, "Carter is everything I've ever dreamed of. But how can I trust him. He was going to kill me."

Mum looks at me with sympathy in her eyes, "How do you feel about Eric?"she asks me.

I look away, sighing,"I almost loved him, and then he broke us apart."

"So you don't like him anymore?" she asks.

"Of course he'll always own a piece of my heart but I don't think I can be with him." I say.

"And Carter?" she asks.

I swallow, "I-I love him. And I want to be with him. But I can't trust him." I say, on the verge of crying again.

"A relationship is all about ups and downs. You guys just fell, and you have to help each other up if you want to be together. I'm sure he loves you too. And I know that you'll make the right decision, whatever that decision is." she kisses my forehead, then leaves to prepare dinner.

I sigh, pushing my legs against my chest.

And all night long, I thought about all the memories I had with Eric.

From the time we met in this very house, to the time I cried as he pushed me away.

And then I thought about all the memories with Carter. All happy ones.

From the time we met in the club to the time we ran into each other that evening and right up to when we said 'I love you'.

I couldn't stop the tears. I just wanted to cry.

°°°

The next morning, I get dressed in some jeans and a hoodie that belongs to Carter. I kind of stole it.

I look at the ring on my finger, sighing. I hope I've made the right choice.

I exit the house after greeting mum.

I've set up a meeting with Carter and Eric. I kind of remember their numbers. And Carter has my phone so I had to use mum's.

When I get to the cafe, I see Carter sitting by a table. Eric, sitting far away from him.

Carter notices me first, he stands up quickly and honestly it doesn't look like he got any sleep.

I walk over to them, taking a seat. Fiona comes over asking for our orders. I order a strong coffee because honestly, I'm going to need it.

When she leaves, it's only the three of us.

Carter puts my phone on the table, sliding it over to me.

"Thanks." I say, putting it in my pocket.

"So I guess you called us here because you've made a decision?" Carter asked.

I nod, "Yes."

"So soon?" Eric asks, frowning.

"I know what I want." I say.

I thank Fiona for the coffee, getting an eyeroll in return.

"Both of you are important to me. I almost loved you Eric, and I could never forget abut the memories we made." I in his dark eyes. It's as if he knows who I'm going to choose.

I turn to Carter, "And I love you Carter. But I can't trust you. Every time i think of us together, I see you killing me."

"We can work on it. Together." Carter says, his voice shaky.

I sigh, taking Eric's hand.

No heart racing, no electricity and no fire ignites inside me.

I let go, then inch closer to Carter's hand.

I feel alive again, there's fire and that fluttering in my heart.

[Please listen to 'She wolf' by Madilyn Bailey]

I let go, sitting back, looking at both of them. This is so damn hard.

I gulp, "I'm gonna go with my heart," my tears start forming as I swallow the lump in my throat, "And my heart picks Carter." I let my first tear fall, as I look at Eric.

His expressions is a mixture of anger and sadness.

I take his hands, "I'm so sorry Eric. But I've moved on. Carter makes me happy."

He looks up at me, his eyes watering, "And I can't?" he whispers, his nose flaring. And right now, I wish I could see him smile again.

"Not the way he can. I'm so sorry." I say again, holding his hands to my chest.

I sob. He lifts my head, wiping my tears away, "It's okay love. It's my fault. And I'm sorry for letting us go. So sorry." he whispers, afraid to speak. I guess we might hear just how vulnerable he is in this moment.

He stands up, kissing my forehead. "Goodbye love." and I savour the moment because I know that this is goodbye for good this time.

He leans over the table, getting straight into Carter's face, "You look after her. Because if you break her heart, I won't hesitate to tear you limb from limb."

The he turns around to leave. But I grab his hand. He looks at me in hope that I'll change my mind. But I don't, "Take care Eric Foster." is all I say, feeling my heart break for him.

When Eric disappears into the daylight, I turn to Carter, wiping away my tears.

Carter doesn't look happy at all.

I frown, "What's the matter?" I ask him.

His first tear rolls down his cheek, "You chose me."

"You're saying I should've chosen you?" I ask him, outraged.

He shakes his head vigorously, "No. I'm saying I don't deserve you." he kisses my hands. "I promise, I'll earn your trust again."

And like the emotional people we were in that moment, we cried.

More importantly, we cried together.




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