LOVE etc.

1

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Did I really do this? Shit! Shit! Shit!

My heart is throbbing in my rib cage as I exit the airport in my uber. My palms are sweaty and I am finding it more difficult by the minute to sit still.

"You did it. There's no turning back. Conceal don't feel. Conceal don't feel." I chant over and over again to calm my throbbing heart.

"Uhh...you okay there?" my uber driver asks, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

"Yeah I'm great!" I laugh nervously. Then I decide to do what I do best. "Hey do you know any good bars around here?" Get drunk.

"Yeah, some." He answers.

"Can you drive me there?" I plead.

"Of course. You sure you're okay?" He asks, looking at me uncertainly.

"Why, of course!" my voice comes out a little high pitched than I intended.

"Okay then."

About five minutes later, the car comes to a halt near a neon sign that says 'Get loose.' What? "This is the bar?" I ask the driver. "It's better than it looks." Okay then.

I pay him and enter the bar with my luggage which notably consists of only one suitcase. I enter through the narrow doors into a dimly lit area. The atmosphere is calm, with no loud music or grinding bodies. Well, this is a good change.

I sit by the counter where I am approached by a busty blonde. "What can I get you?" she asks me in a honey sweet voice.

"A vodka martini would be fine." I give her a tight lipped smile which she returns before scurrying away.

Everything comes gushing back to me as I sit on the barstool, awaiting my drink. I had been planning it for a long time, but I never thought that I'd have the courage to do it when the time actually came.

I put my head in my hands as I recall the events of last night.

My drunken father came home at his usual time, screaming profanities at me before he passed out on the couch. I put a small blanket on his broad frame before getting my suitcase and stepping out. I strategically wore an oversized hoodie so that nobody would recognize me.

After all, strippers are famous.

I dragged my suitcase through the familiar streets of Chicago, bidding farewell once and for all. I switched off my cell phone as I got in a cab to airport.

I boarded the flight with a stinging feeling in my chest for leaving my father behind. I gave him seven years of my life. Now I needed to have time for myself.

"Was it your ex?" I hear a chirpy voice beside me that brings me out of my thoughts.

"Excuse me?" I look at the redhead sitting beside me with a glass of liquor in her hand. Her blue eyes crinkle as a huge smile appears on her face, giving her a friendly aura.

"You look like you just buried a dead body." She says, amused.

That is when busty comes with my martini. I mutter a thank you before looking back at the redhead.

"That is because I did." I reply in a comical tone.

She dramatically gasps, "Tell me all about it!"

Thirty minutes later:

"Drink! Drink! Drink!" the bar chants as I gulp down the sixth and final shot of tequila within a minute.

"Whoooo!" Cassie the redhead cheers along with the whole bar as she slings her arm around my shoulder.

Two hours later:

I blow my nose in a tissue before continuing, "I mean, I love my father I guess. But I had to leave you know. To hustle." Tears stream down my face as I finish my drunken life tale.

Cassie gives me another tissue before taking one for herself. We both blow our noses and toss the tissue crumbs in the bin.

"Oh my god." She slurs. "I love you."

I sniffle, "No. I love you" I take her face in my palms and look right in her eyes.

"Okay but I love you more!" she says mimicking my action.

"Uhh...ladies, this is sweet but I have to close the bar." Busty says from beside us, breaking our trance.

We help each other get down from the bar table and stand there, with our hands intertwined, not knowing what to do next. We both watch busty clean the bar along with two other bartenders before she walks over to us.

"You guys gonna go home or what?" she asks. We just stare at her wide eyed like we saw a ghost.

She sighs. "Alright. Give me your address." I pull out a piece of paper from my pocket before handing it to her. She grabs my luggage before pulling us out of the bar.

"Stay here. I'll go get my car." She commands us. "Nod if you understand me." she says and we nod.

After what feels like an eternity, we stop near a building. Cassie and get out of the car, our hands still intertwined. Busty takes out my luggage. "Follow me." she says and so we do.

"Woah." I whisper as I step into my new apartment. "Woah." Cassie repeats after me. It's mostly empty, except for a couch and some curtains in the living room.

"Alright. I'm gonna go." Busty says. "Stay safe."

We both turn around and wave out hands to the closed door in a drunken haze.

my first attempt at writing!