Why me

I can't stop.

Flashback:

"But you'll never leave right?"

"Emily,why would I? Apart from the fact that I have no other friend than you,I love you. You're such a pure person with a pure spirit and I bet everybody at school is jealous."

"Yeah right. Everybody is jealous from Emily the 'Jam Jar'." I said sighing.

"They're stupid. I'll tell you something. In math class,Sharon *the schools hoe/slut/any name you wanna call her* asked the teacher what's 10+3."

I laughed slightly.

"Do you believe it Emily? She asked him what's 10+3. 10+3 Emily!" Peter said laughing.

"She might be stupid but, she's pretty, fit, popular and the list goes on." I said sighing again.

"You're pretty, fit and popular." Peter said sounding pretty serious.

"When you're lying, you search for believable lies Peter." I said laughing.

"Well you're popular because you're my friend." He said smirking stupidly.

I laughed. That was the only thing I could do. Laugh. My whole life was a joke, a sick one. Everything was so fucked up to the point where I had nothing else on mind to do other than laugh.

"It's getting pretty late. I think we should go." I said trying to end the conversation.

"Okay,let's go."

End of flashback.

I cried again and again and again. I didn't cry that hard since my mothers death. That was the only time I cried that much.

I'm so desperate. I'm still at the hospital infront of the room they were trying to save him in. It's been 4 hours, it's past midnight. I got here and the sky was black, I'm still here and the sky is blue. Not any blue, baby blue. I feel broken. I can't believe he's gone. He promised he wouldn't leave me. I need to stop thinking about it. He's dead. Peter is dead. I have nobody. He's gone, he'll never come back. He left me and he knew how hard it is for me to go through life alone. He knew everything that bothered me, I made him a list. On the top of that list, him leaving was placed. He can't do this. I can't believe this.