Detective Davie sat in his office pondering whether or not he should wrestle a bear naked in a gulag tommorrow. Doing so would win him immeasurable fame, but were the life threatening injuries really worth it? He debated this once more before sinking into a deep and prolonged reverie of the soul.
The door creaked open.
Detective Davie continued to day-dream, mind filling with images of snorkeling in a pond of 8 foot deep sand while fornicating with giant testicles.
Then the door exploded.
"OMG DAAAAAAAAVVIIIEEE I CAN SENSE THOSE HOMOEROTIC THOUGHTS YOUR HAVING....MMMMHMMMMM SOOO KINKYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Detective Davie woke up gently from his slumber.
"NANI?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????" he shrieked, trench coat flying up 3021793126326736218962783617236 feet.
Alina raised her eyebrows and said,
"DAVIIIIEEE YOU WERE HAVING SUCH LOVELY HOMOEROTIC THOUGHTS. I AM GOING TO WRITE A VERY SEXY FANFICTION ABOUT THIS WHERE YOU HAVE SHITTY SEX WITH A ROBOT WITH GIANT TESTICLES.TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOoloLOLOoLOLOLKOLollolololololololOLOLOLOLOl."
Detective Davie looked at her in disgust and admiration simultaneously.
"Where did you learn how to read minds, Alina? Its so impressive."
Detective Davie was starting to grow heart eyes the size of large melons.
"Im in love," he whispered weakly.
"HELL NO. IM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. IM HERE TO BE YOUR RAVISHINGLY HOT DETECTIVE PARTNER DUHHHHH."
Detective Davie conceded silently and sadly. Alina was never going to love him.
"Anyway Davie, Im really hungry. HOw about we go out for chicken nuggets?"
"Sure. Lets go,"
Detective Davie and Detective Alina climbed into Detective Davie's giagantic 28 wheeler barf blue monster truck.
"Wow Davie thats such a beautiful truck."
"I know right? Its glorious. Fiona told me it was stupid, but shes the ssSSSSTUPEEE one."
"lol haha" honked Alina.
Detective Davie drove the car in utmost seriousness. Ah, driving, it was a noble thing to do indeed. The transport of humans and objects via a carriage powered by an internal combustion engine was truly magnifcent, a pinnacle of human progress and achievement. Davie sighed. His car was beautiful.
His car...how should he describe his car? It was a beautifully risque shade of sexy, amorous blue, sparkling with the lights of a thousand angel halos. Davie sighed again. Even looking at the dashboard made him want to strip his clothes and vigorously rub his naked body against the dashboard. The thought of this made him hard. He desperately wanted his car.
Just then, they reached the ChIcKeN nUgGeT eMpOrIuM.
They got out of the car and entered the store.
"Hey Fiona, we'll have the usual. 7 20 piece chicken nuggets for me, and..." David looked at his assistant.
"I'll have a deep fried chicken nugget dough ball, with extra sauce and a double shot of expresso," Alina piped.
"Is that it for you lovely folks today?" muttered Fiona.
"Yup"
"Your order will come in -15 minutes."
(The reader's protests of confusion and wonder towards how a fast food order can be ready in negative amounts of time is suddenly and swiftly silenced by an unknown force.)
After negative 15 minutes, the food arrived. It looked delicious.
Davie inhaled his first box of nuggets. The savory, fried, oily scent of deep fried chicken full of antibiotics filled his body with strength and vigor. His once weary body thrummed with the virility and passion of a thousand teenage couples in the throes of orgasm. His eyes were as large as small galaxies. His nose steadily pumped air and sweet, salty, delectable aroma into his nostrils. He collapsed onto the table.
"Meh." said Alina.
She continued to peacefully munch on the dough ball, enjoying her greasy lunch.
