I never knew that my life would turn out like this..how I was disowned by my own family, how every relationship I ever been in failed, and how I constantly think about taking my own life. I never knew that I would be so broken to the point I couldn't breathe. I wish this was all a Dream but I hate to say this is real life. This is what the, world has come to a never ending horror story.
My own mother gave me up and my whole family shut me out. Apparently I was, a problem child that couldn't be handle. But I believe, I was just misunderstood. There is always two sides of the story. And I hate, to play victim but in this case I might be. You heard me right, "might" not really sure if I am.
Growing up my main concern was just to be loved and care for like I should be. I'm not sure why but I am hurting. I feel as if I can't breathe as if I am fighting a war between life and death. And so far, death is winning. I am a 17 year old girl, some might say that this is regular teenage stuff. But I say, this is not normal. I lost everything from a home, to love, now to death.
There isn't a day where I don't think of ways of how to kill myself. Or how deep, I should cut or what blade I should use. But this is, normal teenage stuff everyone goes through it. I thought I could do this I thought nothing could ever hurt me that I was just this person who couldn't be brought down by others. Well, it looks like that was the biggest lie that ever could be told.
Nobody can love you, like yourself. But what happens, when you don't even love yourself? What happens when the world comes between you and tear you down? They say, love is something that last forever. But I say, love is something that brakes you down and forget who you really are. No one knows me, no one gets me, no one ever understands me. Which would be, some of the typical terms used for a typical teenager. But I am, not typical I am real.
Life will go on but I am not sure my heart will. Everyday is a battle and I feel like I am losing. So enough with the sad talk let's get to the juicy stuff.