You Fit The Bill- Poems

Slowly

It's kicking in again, not forcefully though, just slowly. I can feel it's footsteps just outside, it's presence tickling up my spine.
Every lie I've told to myself and others are laying at disposal as there no use for them now.
The sinking feeling in my stomach is not my food digesting, it's pure fear, loneliness, and the undeniable truth.
Distractions are nice, really nice.
They make you forget that unhappiness and unfulfillment are historical.
It seems it always comes down to having everything but feeling nothing or having nothing and a burning desire for it all.
At what cost?
My existence. I've been split in three.
Because the world, scratch that, my environment has given me the option to.
How nice, huh? Absolutely
I get to tell myself, which one of the three I feel like being each day. While others fit me perfectly in their own environment.
Depression, Anxiety, Antisocialness.
Though I believe in all three the way there represented today makes me believe I'm a certified handicap, unknowingly of course.
Should anxiety be the reason for not getting out of bed or the excuse?
That's a long story though for another time.
Back to the point, it's done with going slow, it latches onto me like a overbearing mother coddling her child.
What can I say, I'm a child that needs a mother. Dwelling in imaginable pain is quite an addiction if you do it right.
Sadly I don't have a mother and the imaginable pain is starting to feel genuine.