One Wing

Last Call

Derrick sat in the room heart pounding from his chest from frustration. He couldn't believe that Tavi had caught him red handed. The images of earlier that day flashed thru his head like lightning. Each second that passed he became more pissed and even more embarrassed. He thought about Tavi and hoped she was okay. He wasn't in love with her but he had love for her. She was the mother of his child; his son. The thought that of it all made Derrick shamed. "How am I supposed to raise my son unto a man and I'm not even a man myself?" Derrick thought aloud. He stood up and took a good look at his self. He looked deep into his eyes, deep into his soul, and he knew it was to late. He was gay and he was tired of ignoring the fact. He decided he would love his son from a distance, he was not the kind of example he wanted him to see.

Derrick thought back to how it all began...

Derrick was nine years old when it happened. For the first christmas in four years Derrick had a family and gifts under the christmas tree. He was ecstatic. Derrick had been placed in a foster home after his junkie mother called "MCP" on her mother who was caring for Derrick. Derrick's mother did it out of anger. She wanted money for drugs but her mother was simply tired of supporting her fading child's habit. Little did she know that act of anger would change her sons life forever. Derrick had bounced from foster home to foster home until he was finally placed with Ms. Janice. Janice was a lovely middle aged woman who loved and genuinely cared for children. She had a daughter named Leslie. Leslie was nice to Derrick and she wasn't jealous of him. She looked at Derrick as her little brother and it wasn't anything she wouldn't do for them. Everything was perfect in Derrick's life until that christmas day. Janice woke Leslie and Derrick up at 8 'O clock in the morning. Derrick had been living with Janice and Leslie for a little over a year now, and they all felt like their life was complete. Janice had invited her family to her home for this holiday. She was ecstatic, this would be her first time hosting christmas at her home. Everything had to be perfect. Although her family was small they where close and she was happy Derrick was apart of it.

They woke up anxious to open their gifts. Derrick and Leslie smiled at there expensive presents. Both children received a 14k gold rope chain necklace and bracelet. Derrick received the newest games and sports car, and Leslie got all the newest barbies and easy bake excessories. They where in heaven. All the family members arrived around twelve in the afternoon. Janice sister Ashley, her husband Gary, and Her Three children Alexis, Deon, And James all arrived with warm greetings. Ashley came from Mississippi to enjoy this day with her sister whom she hadn't seen in almost three years. Since there mother had died things between them their relationship had been strained and they where trying to rekindle it. The family all gathered around the table and ate till their stomachs where tight. Gary went in the living room to watch the game. Ashley and Janice had drinks as they caught up on each others lives. Leslie and Alexis played with her newest barbies and listened to the newest "destiny's child" cd in the living room. While the boys played with the Derrick's newest race cars in the room. Deon had gotten a bad headache and layed down to stop his head from spinning. James and Derrick decided to go to the basement to play so Deon could hopefully get some rest.

James and Deon decided to play

basketball. They decided the winner would be the first one to ten. Derrick was up by three. The score was eight to five. Derrick had the basketball about to throw a lay up, when James fouled him unto the ground landing right on top of Derrick. Derrick tryed to get up but the fourteen year old James was much stronger. Derrick layed stiff at the motion of James hands touching his private area and kissing his neck. "Stop please" Derrick whined. James put his hands over Derrick's mouth as he began to kiss on Derrick's body until he got lower and lower. He unzipped Derrick's pants to see that his child like penis was now hard, he lowered Derrick in his mouth. Derrick stood there in shock. He didn't understand what was going on and he was terrified but at the same time he couldn't understand the tingling sensation that was coming over him. Derrick let out a low moan and quickly became silent. He knew it wasn't right but at the moment he no longer had control. He came inside of James mouth quickly. James licked whatever spots he missed and finished with a smirk. The room grew silent as a shadow of confusion and unsaid words filled the room. "Don't tell nobody, they won't believe you" James said as he walk towards the stairs. Derrick zipped his pants up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. He showered in the hottest water his body could stand. After he showered and got dressed in his pajamas he was happy to see Deon had awaken. Derrick happily ran to his room, locked the door, and silently wept in his bed. He didn't know what had happened but he felt different.

Derrick woke up the next morning happy to see that James and the family had left the previous night. He grabbed a apple and returned to his room. Derrick layed back and in his bed and remained in his room for the remainder of his christmas vacation.

When Derrick returned to school everything had changed. He now found himself looking at girls and boys. He was confused and had no one to share his secret with. He became angry and violent, and began to fail in school. He felt that a man need to have power and respect, and he did his best to keep that part of hin alive.

When Derrick was 16 Ashley and her family came back to visit Janice. Leslie was off to college so it was only Janice and Derrick. Everyone decided to go out to eat at Golden Coral for dinner. Derrick lied and said he was sick to avoid seeing James, but James made it his business to stay. James wanted to rekindle his molestation with Derrick, and Derrick wanted nothing more to forget it. James stared at Derrick with lustfull eyes. "You missed me Derrick? We never said goodbye" James said playful laughing with a sinister grin. Derrick looked at James like he was nuts "nigga you crazy? My life is fucked up behind that shit" Derrick stated angry. "You wanted me to Derrick, you didn't stop me" James said matter factly. "I was nine fucking years old!" "I was scared I didn't know what was going on" Derrick said defensive. "Leave wit me Derrick" James asked sincerly. "I can't james, this can never be." "Im a man and I am meant for a woman" Derrick said to James. James walked away in defeat, he knew Derrick would come around but he hoped that it was to late. After their conversation James left and vowed he would make Derrick his one day.

Derrick focus more time on working. He got a good paying job at a Nike Factory in a city just north of memphis, and that's where he had met Tavi. They dated for four months before Tavi and Derrick decided for Tavi to move in with Derrick. They had been together a few years and Tavi had become pregnant. Everything was perfect until Derrick ran into Jaz.

Derrick had met Jaz after taking Tavi to a doctors appointment and then going to a local bar for drinks. She strutted passed Derrick and flashes a deviously smirk. Derrick manhood instantly grew as he became intrigued. He got Jaz's number and one thing led to another. There secular fling was supposed to only happen once but Derrick found his self thinking about Jaz more and more. He knew Jaz was a man from there first encounter but he was so beautiful. He never thought Tavi would catch him, at least not that soon. He was rushed out his thoughts when his phone started ringing and a private number popped up.

"Hello " Derrick answered. "Derrick" Tavi said broken "How could you?" "Im sorry Tavi, I didn't mean for this to happen, it's my fault" Derrick said remorseful. "I can't go back there, I can't see you" Tavi stated coldly. "I can't be there for you Tavi." "Im not a man my son will look up to, he will be ashamed, and who can blame him?" Derrick said hurt. "Tell my son I love him and be a better man than me" Derrick said before hanging up the phone. "Derrick" Tavi said speaking to a dial tone. She hung up the phone as tears left her face. She was a single parent with no one or nothing. She prayed that god would send her a angel.

Derrick lit up a Newport 100 and took a shot of Hennessy. A tear slid down his face as he silently said a prayer. He pulled out his 45 automatic and pulled the trigger before he could change his mind.