MCSM Memes: Volume 3

Story 1# Steamed Wheats

A/N Jesse's gender is determinant. This is a spoof of the Steamed Hams scene from the Simpsons.

*RING RING!*

*Jesse opens the door, Lukas is outside*

Lukas: Well Jesse, despite how big Beacontown is now, I made it.

Jesse: Lukas! Hey! You're just in time for the best tea you'll ever have!

Lukas: *scratches his head* Right...

*they walk in. Lukas places a flask of tea on the table and Jesse walks into the kitchen, but is shocked to find-*

Jesse: AGH! *opens the oven* My cake! It's ruined! *spots Stampy's Hot Buns outside* But... what if I buy cake and disguise it as mine? *chuckles evilly* Brilliant idea Jesse...

*Jesse opens the window and puts their leg up to the sill, but stops when Lukas opens the door*

Lukas: Hey uh- Jesse? What are you doing?

Jesse: Oh! Lukas! I'm- just stretching! It's great for my legs!

Lukas: *unamused* Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?

Jesse: Haha what? No! It's steam from the steamed beets! Yes it is!

*Lukas hmm's, then goes back into the dining room. Jesse sneaks out through the window*

10 minutes later...

Jesse: *walks into the dining room with a tray of cake slices* Hey I hope you're ready for a mouth-watering mouthful of cake!

Lukas: *hanging his jacket on his chair* I thought you said we were having steamed beets?

Jesse: No no, I said steamed wheats! *puts the tray down* That's what I call cake!

Lukas: *confused* You call cake... steamed wheats?

Jesse: Uhh, yes. *grins* It's a thing in the town I'm from.

Lukas: *takes a slice* Well... where I'm from, nobody calls cake steamed wh-

Jesse: It's a town thing.

Lukas: Right right right...

They start eating, Jesse sips some tea but Lukas takes a bite and stops.

Lukas: Y'know... this stuff's quite similar to the stuff that Stampy makes.

Jesse: Oh? No no, it's an old family recipe I assure you.

Lukas: ... for steamed wheats?

Jesse: Yep!

Lukas: Well you say it's steamed, *breaks some in his hand* but it's clearly baked.

Jesse: Well- I- Uh- Um- Uh- can I be excused?

Lukas: *still confused* Sure...

Jesse runs into the kitchen which is now on fire, and comes back out.

Jesse: Welp I am stuffed right now!

Lukas: *gets up* Yes well I must- *notices smoke coming from the kitchen* BY NOTCH! WHAT IS THAT!

Jesse: Reuben's celebratory fireworks display!

Lukas: *furrows his eyebrows* Reuben's celebratory fireworks display... at this time of year... at this time of the day... right here in your kitchen?

Jesse: ...... yes.

Lukas: Can I... see it?

Jesse: No.

45 minutes later...

They walk out onto the porch, smoke teeming out of the house now.

Petra: Agh! The place is on fire!

Jesse: No Petra it's just fireworks!

Lukas: Well Jesse you're as weird as ever, but you sure make some good steamed wheats.

He starts to leave, but hears Petra scream and a window break followed by a thud. Jesse grins and waves, and Lukas leaves.