My shopping trip was short, with limited money I only spent the bare minimum.
Walking back, the feeling from before didn't return but my "wolf" still wasn't answering my questioning.
Letting out a soft sigh I decided to leave it.
Walking through the door I made sure to leave my shoes at the door before carefully stocking the fridge neatly and keeping my father's new beers at the front to at least give him one less reason to beat me straight away.
Walking out of the kitchen and through the house I passed the basement door on my way to my room and quickly averted my eyes to any other place but there.
It was ironic that my room was the furthest from every other room in the house but the closet to the basement.
Mother used to say I'd be able to us it as my teen hangout or whatever else I wanted, now It was my own personal torture room.
My lip quivered not just from the idea of my personal hell only meters away from me but the fact I had purposely thought about my mother.
She died years ago. My father says it's all my fault and I guess In a way I could see how that could work, It was my birthday and she had been kept at the hospital working into the late afternoon. So instead of disappointing me she went out to buy an extra present just for me to open with her.
But...that's when it happened.
A drunk ass driver drove into her car, totaling it and killing her instantly.
My father was depressed and he relied on alcohol to keep his emotions at bay. I remember bottles upon bottles he drank as a kid, I was so scared he'd kill himself from drinking.
After about a month he snapped.
One day he suddenly started abusing me when he had heard me crying in my room.
That day I'll never forget.
**flashback**
My lip quivered as I tried not to cry.
Daddy won't be happy with me if he hears me crying.
I cuddled my teddy Olive tightly trying to stay quiet but I kept sniffing and my face was covered in tears.
I want my mummy back.
Suddenly daddy was at my door all red faced.
"Why are you crying!" he hissed at me.
"I want my mummy" I wailed at him crying loudly now.
Daddy had stiffened and had started yelling at me.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU WORTHLESS CHILD! SHE'S GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!"
I started screaming and crying as he dragged me out of bed by my forearm.
Dropping Olive I slapped at daddy's arm and kept screaming, he was hurting my arm.
Pulling me down the basement stairs daddy let me go and I tripped at the bottom of the stairs landing on my face.
Daddy grabbed the back of my pyjama shirt and lifted me in the air. He opened his mouth to speak when I started crying again and daddy dropped me to the floor.
"Shut up!" he hissed.
I cried louder.
Daddy started kicking me while shouting "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! FUCKING SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!".
I bit my hand to stop crying and daddy seemed pleased.
"Good girl Sydney, that wasn't so hard now was it" he said crouching down beside me. "If you just listen to daddy I won't have to hurt you, okay?".
I started crying again.
Daddy grabbed my hair so that I faced him and slapped me.
I didn't stop, I screamed and cried louder and louder.
Daddy threw me to the ground and started kicking and punching me while yelling "JUST LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOUR NEVER GONNA ESCAPE ME, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU HEAR! I'LL KILL YOU".
He left me down there alone in the dark.
I didn't move all night, I laid in the basement sobbing until I fell asleep from exhaustion.
**Flashback over**
I sobbed at the memory of the first night I experienced my father wrath.
I was a child!
Defenseless against my father's build even if I had a year or two of self defense. The man I trusted and loved with my soul used his once gentle hands to force pain upon my small body.
I was so repulsed by him.
Digging my fingerings into my room's floorboards I searched for the loose piece that I hid my important stuff under.
There!
Lifting the floorboard out of the way I reached down into the now revealed space and pulled out the cash I had saved up from my job.
I had lied to my father about how much I earned so that I could stash some for when I escaped this bloody awful town.
Quickly counting my small stash and adding the change from my shopping trip. I nodded to myself proud that I'd managed to make.
Even though most of my earnings went to my father working as a waitress for almost three years I had earned $5,187 dollars in total.
I had managed to snatch a good job although including sanitary production, clothes and other things like school books and my laptop It just wasn't as much as I would have liked to save but It's still a good amount to start from.
It's only April so I have the rest of the school year to save everything so that I can leave.
Placing the money to the side I reached back into the small space and pulled out the rest of the items making sure to check that my father hadn't returned.
Setting them down in front of me I carefully wipe the thin layer of dust off them with my hands.
Picking up Olive I cuddled her to my chest, the top of her head tickled my chin. Olive's smell had gone musty a while ago but I had never been able to wash her because of my father.
Even with the musty smell I inhaled deeply trying to savour the small amount of comfort she gave me.
Placing Olive back down into the space in the floor I picked up another one of the items...
