Like a Phoenix, I will rise

Chapter One:

I awake with a feeling of dread and anguish. I sit on my bed catching my breath, trying not to fall apart. It's barely dawn and I already feel like breaking down. I already want to end this nightmare I'm living.
   I slide off the bed knowing there's no use going back to sleep. I go to the bathroom and wash up, avoiding my reflection. It will only bring overwhelming pain and sorrow.
   I get dressed without thought of looking decent and presentable.Who cares? I have no reason to. I barely have reason to live, just hope for revenge and vengeance for what was taken from me.
    They say revenge won't bring you the satisfaction and relief you're hoping for but,honestly, I don't care. I have lost so much and "dealt" with so much pain, the person responsible will pay.
    My hand lingers on the doorknob. Should I even bother showing up? Before I can decide someone opens the door and runs right into me. "Eva! Hey sorry I was just coming to-"
   I put my hand up " It's okay, Rora". She looks so embarrassed and the situation was so ridiculous a laugh was threatening to escape. "Let's just go."
   Rora nods, relieved and leads the way.
   Rora is my best friend, practically my sister, one of the few people I trust. She has been the only one there for me throughout all my life. I would give up my life for her without thinking twice. But she's been a little odd since the last tragedy, losing my mom.
     Rora has been guarded ever since that incident. She hasn't let anyone into her life that wasn't there already, which is only me. Although if she opened up again, people would fall head over heels to be friends with her or be with her. Her blonde hair flows over her shoulders, reaching the small of her back and her eyes are a green so light it almost seems white. Although she has gotten a little paler over the months, she covers it up with makeup. Tragedy weighs a ton.
    She's been treading carefully ever since, but understands what I'm going through. She's lost her whole family to this stupid war. A war so useless and unnecessary it probably will only end with half the world gone. Men.
   If it wasn't for the kings stupid pride we would all be living in peace. He couldn't stand the thought of uniting with a country less wealthy than his and was offended by the offer. So he waged war on Auria and doomed us all.
    Finally after turning through hall after hall we at last arrive at the Breakfast Hall. I enter and gasp at the sight of it. I've been here a few times and it never ceases to amaze me.
     It's designed like the inside of paradise. Luxurious chandeliers fill the room, it's material blinding. Tables made of the finest wood are put in neat sections around the room. Gold and white wallpaper and tiles compliment the glassware. Everything was shining and magical I couldn't help gaping every time.
     But the best part wasn't the interior design, it was the food. anything from still-hot scrambled eggs to pizza could be found in this buffet. All the food you could imagine was here. Why they call it breakfast hall I will never know, I think.
      Me and Rora turn to each other, share a smile, and sprint to the food. Ever since we were kids we would love to race and see who could reach the food first. Undoubtedly, I won, which wasn't new. Even though Rora knew she was no match for me it was fun anyway. It felt good to let loose sometimes, it made you forget the pain, if only for a second.
    We start to fill our plates with food that could feed a family. Me and Rora were quite the eaters though it didn't show in our weight at all.
     As I finished to fill my plate I started to feel guilty. I was here hoarding a bunch of food while there were others out there struggling to find a sip of water. I could do as much as I could but it would never be enough to end this famine. I was lucky though, my parents were close to the royal  family and so when they died I was told I could come here and live in the guest section of the castle as long as I liked. At first, the thought barely crossed my mind and I was ready to decline. But, I though about how me and Rora were going to eat and support ourselves. So, for Rora I accepted.
   Before I could finish the thought Ash pops out of nowhere and smacks my shoulder. He knows what makes me tick and what doesn't. I hate it. I have a horrible urge to choke him to death but I wasn't going to abandon my food and he knew it. Instead I gave him one of my infamous death glares.
     "What the hell, Ash!" I fume.
"Well good morning to you too." He says with a mocking, crooked grin.
I glare in reply.
"Lighten up," He says with a shrug and puts his arms around me.
I roll my eyes and start walking away in a hurry, but he catches up.
"How are you this morning, sweetheart?"He asks.
"One I'm not your sweetheart and two I was just assaulted by a psycho if you really want to know. Can you just leave me alone!" I yell.
"Wow. Well thanks, sorry for caring" Sometimes I really hit a nerve with Ash. Don't get me wrong, Ash is amazing. It's just... sometimes I can't stand to be with him, a reminder of what I could lose. So instinctively, I push everyone away. I try with Rora but she knows me too well. And, well, Ash is a different story.
    I watch him walk away. He has chocolate brown hair, broad features, and eyes a beautiful shade of blue, like the waters of the ocean. To sum it all up, he looks like a damn model. He's only an inch taller then me, but it always seems as if he's towering over me, which doesn't help my irritation with him sometimes.
    I sigh. It's better for him if he hates me.
    I start to walk towards my table which only consists of me, Rora and usually Ash.
     "Hey! What took you so long" Rora says as soon as I arrive.
"Bumped into Ash on the way" I say rolling my eyes.
"Where is he anyway?" She asks
I look away and immediately she knows.
"Oh Rora, why?" She says with a tilt of her head.
"It's better if he hates me, I don't want to hurt him" I say with my head down.
" Have you ever thought Rora ,that when you push people away you're hurting them        then? That it's worse than the hurt you think you're trying to prevent them from experiencing?" And with that, she got up and left the table. Leaving me with my tormenting thoughts and wounding actions.