I just sat there to shocked to move. A single tear slipped from the eye from fear. I had no emotion but fear it surrounded me pressing against my chest so heard I couldn't breath. For the first time in a long time I had a panic attack I started breathing heavely. Derek and Dom tried to calm me down but it was no use I was long gone in my own mind. 'I'm so broken'
I couldn't believe he was out and on bail who would bail him out? 'Please Jasmine snap out of it I need to know your okay your scaring me' I heard Derek plead in my head. Another silent tear slid down my face and Derek took my face in both his hands making me look at him. He stared at me for a while and just by his eyes which were filled with concern, fear, and sadness. It made me feel safer that he cared for me, my breath started to slow and I hugged him.
"Shh it's okay Jasmine it's gonna be okay he won't lay a finger on you especially that me and Dom are here." I looked up at Dom to see the same concern and love swept over my eyes and I turned back to Derek the same gleam I had at Dom returned into my eyes I love them both to much. It hurts me to know I'm dragging them down with me. My face turns down just noticing this. Derek I'd the first one to notice and hugs me closer to him and whispers soothing things in my ear.
"I'm hurting you aren't I I'm hurting both of you, right?" I said out of nowhere. There faces looked shocked for only a second before they con posed themselves.
"Why would you think that?" Dom asked.
"Because it's true isn't it?" I started to have tears threatening to come out.
"I don't know what you mean sweetheart. Can you explain?" Derek says to me.
" I'm just hurting you every day because I love you both and can't choose and I'm dragging you down with me!" I cried scooting away from his embrace. I felt selfish and I just couldn't live with myself right now.
"What! No not at all honey we are here for you and nothing will change that." Derek said embracing me again trying to comfort me it didn't work. I tried to break free but he would not let me until I calmed down. I slumped my shoulders defeated.
"I'm just hurting you and everyone around me I'm just to broken and you both deserve better I'm not good enough I'll never be." I cried.
"Don't you ever say that love you are perfect yeah you have a past all of us do. We're here to help you, I'll always be here and you know this I was there from the beginning I'll be here til the end." Derek whispered the last part in my ear so Dom couldn't hear. It made me sob harder I wanted to be strong but I was so strong for so long that it's just not going to be ignored anymore.
"But your hurt I can see it in both your eyes just leave while you still can before you fall to hard before I fall to hard." I said all seriousness put into my face for them to see.
"I WON'T ever do that!" Dom yelled through gritted teeth. He was mad but I didn't know why. I gave him a puzzled look.
"Don't you ever say your not good enough don't you ever tell me to leave your side I'm here and I choose to be here I will not abondon you." Dom says explain his anger. I sighed.
"What can I do for you guys to notice I'm not going to get better I can not be fixed. Just please leave so I can think." Derek nodded and vanished from my sight. I would never get used to that. 'I'll be here you just can't see me' He thinks to me. I sigh again knowing I won't be able to tell him to just leave because I know he wont.
"I'll leave to but please don't push me away. Don't make me leave for good." He looked at me with pain, not pain of me hurting him pain of him loosing me. He walked to my door and closed it behind him I heard the front door close. I got off the floor and went to my bed. I cryed myself to sleep knowing the ugly man would find me soon.
Two days later
I woke up with a start I could feel the bile rise up in my throught. I have been puking the past two days only in the morning and I could not figure out why. I jumped from my bed hand cupping my mouth and sprinted to the bathroom. After I was done puking I brushed my teeth and checked the time. 4:45 A.M. I sighed I had school soon and I vowed I'd go back today. I've skipped for the past three days.
I couldn't miss another day. I layed back down and fell asleep instintly. I then was suck into a dream I wish I never had.
Jasmine please wake up. I opened my eyes groggy with my sister in my face. 'What' I asked 'it's mom she's throwing a fit again can I sleep with you tonight' she asked I moved over giving her room and she slid in beside me. I looked around and saw Derek standing at the end of my bed head in hands shoulders shaking slightly. He was crying. 'How could you they were are children Jasmine how could you do this to me how could you let you mother to this to us' He finally looked up he was crying tears of blood. The brown eyes I fell in love with were black and blood spurted out of them I screamed when my door slammed open and Derek vanished leaving me with my sister by my side shaking and my angry mother. 'Jasmine how could you do this to me' she yelled I then noticed the knife she was holding and I sat up scared for my life. She came closer and moved fast. She grabbed my hair and dragged me from my bed to the basement. I screamed out of pain when she threw my head to the floor. I was on my back and my mother got on top of me. She took the knee and slide it a crossed my stomach. I screamed in pain as she took her hand in my skin and started ripping me apart from the inside.
I started up with a jolt. My body was covered in sweat and my throat hurt. I looked around frantic but no one was there I was in my bed safe I looked at the clock 6:10 A.M. I decided to get up instead of going back to bed what really got me in the dream was Derek saying 'how could you they were our children.' This rang through out my body. Was I pregnant was my dream trying to tell me something. I shook my head. Don't be crazy ghost can't have chil
