The Darkest of Minds

Voices & Paranoia [angst, prepare urself] (28)

Harry's POV

Professor McGonagall was able to change our time table to where we'd have every class together, but of course that took some convincing.

"Pleaaassseee! The other students make fun of us and it's worse when we're not together!"
"For the last time, I am not changing your time table to match Draco's."
"Professor McGonagall, I feel as though it would be in your best interest to allow us the same time table, as I will make it a point to whine and complain in your class no matter how many points you take away or how many detentions I get."
"You're a brave one, Malfoy. That's a stupid idea worthy of a Gryffindor. You're really rubbing off on him, Harry. I fear you may take on the worst of each other."
She laughed.
"Of course, Snape would be upset if I didn't do this, but I don't particularly care about what he thinks. I'm only doing this because I don't want to deal with either of your consistent complaints."

I sat down next to Draco and Pansy as I put some food on my plate. Pansy had been talking about some kid who f***ed his potion up so bad that the whole class had to take a shower then sit in Dumbledore's office until he had it all cleaned up. It took a whole class period, or so I hear.
"-arry... Harry... Harry!"
"Huh?"
How long has he been calling my name?
"Are you going to eat, or just sit there and stare off into space?"
"Sorry! I guess I kinda spaced out..."
Ya think? I doubt he even wants to be with you, you're so scrawny and stupid, who would ever love you? Definitely not a perfect guy like Draco, you and him both know he could do soooo much better than you, pathetic worm.
Shut up! Don't you have an off switch or something? That would really come on handy sometimes, y'know!
Shut it. You need me, how else are you going to keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself?
Self control? Working towards getting better? I have plenty of ways to keep you out.
"Harry, are you alright?"
"Just a headache is all, those happen from time to time, I'll just go lay down, okay? See you soon, Dray."
He doesn't want to see you.
Yes he does.
He doesn't love you.
Yes he does.
He doesn't care about you.
He thinks you're worthless.
He wishes you were someone else.
He imagines someone else when he kisses and cuddles you.
He thinks you're stupid.
He doesn't want to be with you.
He wishes you were dead.
He wishes your suicide attempts had worked.
He wishes that he had never met you.
He'll never love a pathetic weakling like you.
You're right.
He doesn't want to see me.
He doesn't love me.
He doesn't care about me.
He does think I'm worthless.
He does wish I were someone else.
He does imagine someone else.
He does think I'm stupid.
He doesn't want to be with me.
He does wish I were dead.
He does wish the suicide attempts worked.
He does wish that be had never met me.
He won't ever love me.
Why did I ever think he cared about me?

I rummaged through my stuff. I know I have one around here somewhere.

Aha!

I placed the blade to my skin.

He doesn't want to see you.
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't care about you.
He thinks you're worthless.
He wishes you were someone else.
He imagines someone else when he kisses and cuddles you.
He thinks you're stupid.
He doesn't want to be with you.
He wishes you were dead.
He wishes your suicide attempts had worked.
He wishes that he had never met you.
He'll never love a pathetic weakling like you.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

I placed the dripping blade on my thigh.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.

Then, everything went black.

Draco's POV

I had a bad feeling, but it was just a headache, he'll be fine... right? He has been acting weird lately though. Oh well, hopefully I'll see him in our next class, otherwise I might have to go get him. Though, I am quite tempted to go up and check on him now. Something seemed wrong, his eyes didn't match his voice. He was lying!
"Guys, did you notice anything off about Harry? I think something's wrong with him."
"You know how he is, he'll be in your next class. You're just paranoid because it's been a while since you've been without him. Chill out, Dray."
"A-alright."
Maybe Pansy's right, maybe I'm just paranoid. But I just can't help but feel like somethings wrong...
What is this feeling?
Is it really just paranoia?
If it is... why is it so strong?
I can almost imagine him doing that to himself again.
I mentally shiver, he wouldn't, would he?
No.
I just have to trust him.
But the feeling is still so strong...

A/N: Hey!!! So I'm back, I've been really busy with school work and stuff (and I'm still pretty swamped, but y'know) so I really haven't had the chance, but I'm slowly getting back on track. Love y'all, bye! :)