Sometimes, it's Better to Forget Responsibility

Chapter 7

Soft sunlight streamed onto the boys' faces, shining in from the window. Sylvie peeked one tired eye open. He sighed discontentedly as glimpses of memories from the previous night passed through his mind. He was still exhausted, but he sat up. He felt too inactive, but he was also very discombobulated. "Strange," he thought through the daze, "That after a dreamless sleep, being awake feels like a dream." As the world became less surreal to Sylvie, he noticed he was not alone. Giovanni had been curled up next to him. With a wave of an emotion he couldn't describe, Sylvie realized that Giovanni had never left him. Sylvie didn't know how he felt, or rather, how he should feel, about this. On one hand, he knew he could fully trust Giovanni, he knew Giovanni cared, and this was the first time in a long time he actually felt close to an adult- even if Giovanni was barely into his adulthood. On the other hand, he had become an inconvenience again. Giovanni surely would have preferred not to sleep on the floor next to him right?
Giovanni's sleepy voice broke Sylvie's train of thought. "You're awake already."
Sylvie looked down at Giovanni, who hadn't moved besides that he now had a gentle smile on his face. Sylvie hadn't yet worked out how he felt, but his eyes quickly darted from Giovanni to his own hands, which were fidgeting with one another. "I'm sorry you had to sleep on the floor… With me…"
"What? You don't have to be sorry," Giovanni told him, rubbing his eyes before pushing himself up. "It was my decision. I was a little worried."
"Well, then, I'm sorry I worried you," Sylvie mumbled.
"Look, you don't need to apologize for anything," Giovanni explained, "But I understand that maybe you just need to say something. I do that too sometimes. So I accept your apology."
"Thank you," Sylvie breathed, relieved. There was a pause. "Look, about what happened-"
"No. Stop," Giovanni cut him off, "We aren't talking about it today. It's just not the time. Give it a while, a day or two to recuperate, and then we can talk."
Sylvie could nearly here his own words echoing in Giovanni's. This felt like the kind of thing he would tell one of his patients. It made him laugh, although sounding empty, "You'd make a pretty good psychologist, Giovanni."
"I think not," Giovanni laughed back, "Never in a million years. I like crime." He paused for a moment, reviewing what he had said over in his head to make sure it wasn't hurtful. "But thanks for the suggestion," he added.
There was silence again. Sylvie stood up.
"Hey, where are you going?" Giovanni asked.
"I can't sit there anymore. I need to do something. It feels like if I do something, anything, maybe I can make up for it, the problem will just go away." Sylvie had begun walking around aimlessly as he talked, look for something purposeful to do.
"Sylvie," Giovanni muttered, "That isn't healthy. Don't let your guilt get the better of you." There it was again. That therapist sounding part of Giovanni. "Listen, today we are going to chill out and have fun!" And there was the Giovanni part of Giovanni, which Sylvie somehow liked more. "We aren't going to even think about anything that happened last night until we're ready. Okay?"
"Okay," Sylvie agreed.
Giovanni stood up also. He walked over to Sylvie. "C'mon. Let's go watch a cartoon or something."
Mindless entertainment. That would distract them.
"Let's see if that one is on again," Sylvie suggested, "That one, um… Magical Madness!"
"Ah, yes, good thinking!" Giovanni agreed. They both walked over to the door, and Giovanni opened it. As they walked into the hall, they noticed the sound of the tv was already buzzing in the background. "Mom?" Giovanni called in aprehension, stepping in front of a very nervous Sylvie in an attempt to block him from view.
"She left," Molly answered from the living room.
Giovanni and Sylvie both sighed in relief. As he entered the room, Giovanni asked, "She left already?"
Molly nodded. "But she left a note in the kitchen saying that she was running late so she didn't wake you before she went to work. It also said she hoped you would wake up at a reasonable hour."
"Well, what time is it?" Giovanni asked.
"Eleven," Molly answered, glancing at her phone.
"Oh, well. Sorry Mom."
"You guys slept super soundly. I tried to wake you up earlier, but you wouldn't respond to my knocking, so I went inside, but then you both we're on the floor, and I thought 'Something happened here, and it was not good' so I left."
"Sorry, Beartrap," Giovanni mumbled.
"Well, I only have a few more hours before I should head home, so what should we do?" Molly asked.
With the knowledge that Molly would soon have to leave, the idea of cartoons quickly left Giovanni and Sylvie. They both thought about what they could possibly do. What was the best way to top a sleepover like This one? Slowly, Sylvie murmured, barely audibly, "We could build a pillow fort."
"What was that?" Giovanni asked, "Speak up." Neither of these kids could speak up for themselves, and he was going to have to change that.
"We could build a pillow fort," Sylvie suggested again, still a bit sheepish, but loud enough for both Giovanni and Molly to hear, which was a start.
"That's a great idea!" Molly exclaimed.
"Yeah!" Giovanni agreed, "A great big pillow fort with all the blankets and pillows we can find! Except for the ones in my mom's room. I’m not allowed to touch those."
"Let's use my sleeping spot, too. I won't need it again, after all,” Sylvie added.
“I’ll get stuff from the room I was in too!” Molly chimed in.
The three of them all ran off in different directions. Molly dashed into the guest bedroom, and plucked the pillows from the bed, and a one from the floor where it had fallen in the night. She ran back into the living room and dumped her pillows into the pile that was beginning to form because of Giovanni. He begun to remove pillows from the couches, and had them carelessly piled in the middle of the room. Molly ran back into the guest room, yanking the sheets and comforter off the bed, leaving it quite bare. She poked into the closet, and was rewarded for her curiosity with a spare blanket. She returned to the living room, tossing the blankets and sheets onto the pile one by one. She watched as they stretched outward as they were thrown, and slowly drifted down onto the pile, covering the pillows. She double checked the guest room, finding another, smaller pillow under the bed. Once she was sure there was nothing left in the room, she began helping Giovanni take the cushions in the living room.
Sylvie had gone back to his nest of blankets, and began to dissect it. He started by pulling out the pillows and stacking them neatly in an out-of-the-way space. When the majority of pillows had been collected, or he thought so at least, but it was impossible to tell through the mess of blankets, he began collecting and folding the blankets and stacking them next to the pillows in an orderly fashion. Often, he found a pillow wrapped and tangled in a blanket, or under many layers of sheets, and he added it to the stack he had made. When he finally finished, the pillows formed a tower half his height, and the blankets were nearly the same. He’d have to make multiple trips to bring them to the living room. “How does he have so many?” Sylvie wondered to himself, lifting up half of the stack, and carrying it to the living room. Sylvie noticed the haphazard pile of pillows and blankets, and asked, “Really guys?” Molly and Giovanni just grinned and shrugged.
With a sigh, Sylvie emptied his arms of the pillows, not even bothering to straighten them as they tumbled down. They landed scattered, as messy as the rest of the pile. They were going to get knocked down anyways. He did the same with the rest of his pillows, grimacing each time. When he brought in the blankets, managing to bring them all in at once, he did place them down gently as they were. He then watched as Giovanni, who had began to grab things from his bed, threw a pillow onto the pile from across the hallway and caused the blanket tower to collapse. “Whatever,” Sylvie muttered to himself, a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth never-the-less.
Giovanni, who had just chucked the last of his bed’s pillows onto the pile, pulled all the sheets, the comforter, and spare blankets folded at the foot of his bed, off. He bunched all of them up in his arms. Just like that, his formerly nicely made bed was completely bare. He opened on of the drawers near his bedside, pulling out more blankets. He returned to the living room, and dumped the blankets onto the pile.
“Giovanni, where did you get all these blankets from?” Molly asked.
“Oh, my mom’s current partner has a chilly epithet, so we have all these blankets around the house for when she stays over, since she’s often cold,” He explained.
“I didn’t know your mom had a partner,” Molly remarked.
Giovanni shrugged. “It never came up, so I never said anything. But yeah, my mom has a girlfriend, and we’re really lucky to have her around. She makes mom happier than dad ever did.” There was a hint of bitterness in the lilt of his voice at the end of his statement.
Molly and Sylvie exchanged a look. “Well, if you ever want to talk about it,” Sylvie began, fishing around in his pockets until he snagged one of his cards.
“No. No therapy-ing today. Today is for fun!” Giovanni insisted, pushing Sylvie’s hand away when he held out the card.
“Oh.” Sylvie figured he might react like that, but it still was mildly surprising. “Okay.”
Giovanni’s usual pleasant smile returned his face. He began to build a small “room” out of the pillows. Once he got the pillows to settle into place as a small box, he looked up at Molly and Sylvie. “Are you guys just going to watch, or are you going to join in?”
“Yes!” Molly exclaimed, while Sylvie nodded curtly with a wide smile. Molly began to build another room of sorts connected to Giovanni’s. She placed the pillows with skill that surprised both Giovanni and Sylvie.
“How’d you do that with such precision?” Sylvie asked as she finished. Not a single pillow or cushion fell as she built.
“Yeah, Beartrap, that was amazing!”
Molly blushed. “My sister and I used to build them with my mom. I guess we all just got super good at it after a while.”
Giovanni patted her on the head. She grinned, and quickly assembled another, larger piece of the pillow fort.
Sylvie began sifting through the pile, looking at the pillows he could choose from, comparing sizes and testing stiffness. As he searched for pillows he wanted, another question came to mind. “So I understand why you need all the blankets,” Sylvie asked, “But what about all these pillows?”
“They’re for when the boys come over. I have sleepovers with them, too. And there are way more than just the six I brought to museum. Those guys are just my minions. I have friends.”
“Ah.” Sylvie picked out a few mismatched but sturdy-feeling pillows and put them together. Once built, his creation collapsed in on itself, and he looked at its remains in dissatisfaction. He gave it a second try, and it stood for a moment before falling over once again. He looked at Molly, studying her method of assembling the rooms of the fort as she built another. He attempted to emulate her building style, but his room toppled back down immediately after he made it. He growled in frustration.
Molly noticed him struggling and walked over to him. “Do you need some help?”
“No, I-!” He started, then stopped. The only way to learn is to be taught, he reminded himself. “Yes please,” he accepted quietly.
“Here, let me show you.” She took the pillows and began to explain what to do as she put the room together slowly, making sure he could see what she was doing clearly. “You chose good pillows, though,” she noted, “Very stable, able to hold each other up well. You want strong pillows. And… There!” she exclaimed, finishing up the room, “Now you try!”
Sylvie carefully selected new pillows, while Molly waited patiently for him. When he had selected his pillows, he began to build his own room for the fort the way she had guided him to. The first time, it fell apart, but the second time he tried, it did not. He smiled, satisfied with his work.
“Good job!” Molly praised, clapping, before she returned to making her own. Sylvie began a second small room next to the one he had just built.
Meanwhile, Giovanni had made three other rooms for the fort, and decided to grab a few chairs from the kitchen so he could drape blankets down. He placed the chairs far from each other, hanging one end of the blankets from the back of the chairs, and pulling the other end onto the tops of the rooms of the forts that were finished. Molly and Sylvie were beginning to run out of good pillows, so Sylvie began taking the pillows that could not be used for building and spreading them across the bottom of the fort so they could sit comfortably within it. Molly finished the last of her rooms, and crawled into the fort. Light from outside filtered in through the blankets, casting down dull, many colored shades upon the fort. “It’s beautiful,” Molly thought to herself, laying down and sinking into the pillows. Sylvie, who had just finished covering the ground in pillows, did likewise.
Giovanni finished covering the fort in blankets and also crawled in. He saw that Molly was beginning to drift off, and Sylvie was already asleep, so he joined them in the sea of pillows and quickly fell asleep too. They were just a bunch of tired kids looking out for each other, after all.
The woke to the tone of Molly’s phone ringing. She woke up, and still groggy, she answered it. “Hello?” she asked.
“Molly, I can’t find you, so I’m calling you,” Lorelai, her sister, said from the other end, “Dad says you are doing the night shift tonight. Please come home soon. By the way, where are you? And when did you leave?”
“Oh, I haven’t been gone long, just out for a walk,” Molly bluffed nervously.
“Ah, that makes sense. I mean, I haven’t seen you since Friday, but I guess we just didn’t run into each other.”
“I guess so.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” Molly heard her sister hang up the phone, then put down her own. “Guys, i have to go home.”
“Okay,” Giovanni said, glancing around at the fort, “Well, then we have to clean up, and then I’ll drive you home. Unless you need to go now?”
“No, I just have the night shift tonight,” She informed him.
“Ah, then we have time,” he noted with a nod, not wanting to complain about her working on a school night again right now.
They made quick work of putting away the blankets and pillows into the drawers and closets they belonged in, and making the beds back up. Or maybe it only felt quick because they knew Molly had to leave as soon as they finished. Either way, when the blankets were all away, and the chairs back in the kitchen, and the pillows back on the beds, and the beds all made nicely, and the cushions back on the couches, nobody was really ready to take Molly home. Still, Giovanni asked, “Is everybody ready?” hoping that there would be a reason for them to stall further. No one had any reason to stay besides they didn’t want to leave, however, which meant that their sleepover was at its end. Molly had the pajamas that Giovanni gave her the night before in her backpack, and Sylvie had Lev settled in the make-shift cage he was in. All bundled up in their hoodies, they made their way to the car. Sylvie let Molly sit up front without an argument.
“Did you have fun, Beartrap?” Giovanni asked, as the car began to roll down the street.
“Mhm!” she replied enthusiastically.
“What about you?” He asked Sylvie.
“Me?” he peeped from the backseat, looking up from Lev, who he had been petting softly, “It was great. thank you.”
Giovanni nodded proudly. “You are welcome anytime.”
The drive to the toy store felt exceedingly short as they chattered amongst themselves, exchanging their favorite memory.
“I liked building the pillow fort!” Molly hummed, feeling joy at her memories, both those with her friends and those with her mom and sister, “it reminded me of how happy we used to be. Maybe my family can be like that again someday!”
“I hope so,” Giovanni sighed with a sad smile.
“Me too,” Sylvie added supportively.
“Thanks you guys. What was your favorite part, Sylvie?”
He looked back down at Lev with a smile. “My lizard!”
“Ah, yes, baby’s first crime!” Giovanni exclaimed wistfully.
Sylvie whined “Nooooooo!” in response.
Molly giggled. “What about you, Giovanni?”
“Just hanging out with you guys,” Giovanni answered.
“Aw, thanks!” Molly cooed. Sylvie blushed, but didn’t respond.
They pulled up to the Blyndeff Toy emporium way too soon. All three got out of the car, the cold not as bad as the past couple days before. Giovanni and Sylvie both tightly embraced Molly.
“See you later, Beartrap,” Giovanni murmured, “I miss you already!”
“Bye, Molly,” Sylvie said softly, “Thanks for showing me what it’s like to have friends.”
“No problem,” she whispered back. Then louder, but still quiet, she said, “See you later, guys.” She waved to them as she walked into the shop. They waved back, until she was out of sight, and then returned to the car. Molly sighed as she put down her backpack.
“Oh! You’re home!” she heard behind her.
“Hi, Lorelai,” she greeted her sister.
“Did you enjoy your walk? It was long,” Lorelai asked.
Molly nodded yes. “While I was walking, I was just wondering. Do you remember those pillow forts we used to make?”
“With mom?” Lorelai muttered with a frown.
“Yeah.”
“What about them?”
“We should make one again sometime. Together.”
“Together?”
“Yeah.”
Lorelai was quiet for a moment as she thought. “Yeah. I think I’d like to do that.” She pulled Molly into a gentle hug. Molly returned the hug.
Back in the car, Giovanni asked Sylvie, who was now sitting in the front seat, “Do you want me to take you home, too.”
“You probably should. I have work tomorrow,” Sylvie answered.
“Mm,” Giovanni hummed. There was silence most of the way there. Giovanni glanced at Sylvie while they stopped at an intersection. The boy looked uneasy. “You feeling alright?”
Sylvie shrugged, his arms crossed and drawn up tightly. “I’ve been living alone for so long. I think… I think I don’t like it.”
“I see,” Giovanni said. He thought for a moment, as he turned onto Sylvie’s street and parked next to the apartment building. “Maybe I could fix that.”
“How?” Sylvie asked, desperation creeping into his voice, although he tried to hide it. Both of the boys got out of the car.
“I’ll walk you in,” Giovanni told him, before continuing. “I’m technically an adult, which means I am able to move out as I please.”
“Move out? Why would..? You don’t have to- You’re an adult?” Sylvie stumbled over his words in shock, “How- How old are you?”
“I’m nineteen,” Giovanni answered.
“Nineteen? Wow, you’re older than I thought!”
“How old did you think I was?”
“Seventeen or something. Not an adult.”
“The world is full of surprises,” Giovanni remarked coyly.
“Whatever, man,” Sylvie laughed, giving Giovanni a playful shove, which Giovanni returned, equally playfully. Sylvie paused as his laughter died down. “What do you mean, when you say you can move out?”
“I, well, maybe I could move in with you and help you out?” Giovanni suggested, “Like your… Like your parents should have.”
“I-” Sylvie was speechless, “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course!” Giovanni answered, “Why wouldn’t I? Besides, I have to make sure you sleep somehow.”
“Would your mom be okay with that?”
Giovanni grimaced. “Probably not. But the thing about being nineteen is that I get to make that decision.” They stopped outside Sylvie’s apartment.
“Okay,” Sylvie relented softly, pulling the keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door, “If you’re sure about this.”
“I’ve never been so sure about anything else in my life.”
“Well, then…” Sylvie paused awkwardly. “I’ll be expecting you later, I guess?”
Giovanni smiled at him, which made Sylvie feel warm. “Yeah! So you soon, Sylv!”
Sylvie closed the door behind himself, feeling very contemplative. Was this really going to be like having a parent again? Would it actually be better this time? Giovanni was nice to him, and made sure that he was happy and healthy, so maybe, for the first time in his life, it would be nice. Sylvie walked over to his laptop and began scrolling through his emails. He wrote short replies back to co-workers and patients, about hours he could or couldn’t work to the former, and things that could help with certain problems to the latter. He liked to give his work email to his patients, so whenever they needed help, he was right there. Is that what it’d be like, when Giovanni moved in with him? Help would be right there? Would Giovanni want him to call him dad? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that at the moment. He looked down at Lev, whom he had been carrying close to his chest around with him as he did things. He’d have to get him a proper cage. That was the point of rescuing him from that awful pet store. For now, he’d get Lev settled someplace in his room.
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Giovanni drove home with feelings of paternal love and nostalgic sadness glowing inside of him. He was excited to be there for Sylvie, to feel something so purposeful, to care for someone. At the same time, this was his home. It was where his mom had moved them to when his dad had left, and it always felt special for that. A place for them to start new, a place where they felt safe. A happier, more satisfying life. Then again, that’s why he was doing this; So Sylvie would be able to feel that kind of security. Roads that felt familiar beneath him as he drove home, how saddening that he would drive them home so much less, how exciting that he’s going to get to relive learning roads until they were familiar and safe. To learn what home was, what home would feel like, all over again.
As he reached his house, and walked inside, he decided, yes, yes, that is what home is, after all. A place of safety and caring. When had Sylvie last felt truly at home? Had he ever? Giovanni could fix that, and even more important, he wanted to. To want to help, Giovanni felt, was one of the most important pieces of caring for someone. He grabbed a bag. He stuffed some clothes into it, as much as he could. Then he did the same to another bag, and then another. He gathered some blankets and a pillow, just in case Sylvie didn’t have anything. He probably didn’t. That boy had been alone for so long. He was glad that he and Molly had come into Sylvie’s life. He didn’t want to imagine what would have happened if Sylvie had just been alone like he had for the rest of his childhood. Even now he feared that the damage of loneliness may be irrevocable. He shuttered to think of it.
Giovanni heard the sound of the front door opening. “I’m home!” It was his mom. Oh dear.
“Hey, mom!” he called from his room, realizing as soon as he greeted her that he definitely did not sound himself.
He cursed at himself internally as his mom called back, “Honey, are you alright? You sound-” She open the door and stopped dead when she saw him. “Gigi… What are you doing?”
Why had he ever complained about the nickname? She loved him, and that was how she showed it. It was the same as the same way he showed it to Sylvie by calling him Sylv. “I’m leaving mom. I’m sorry! I have to go.”
“You’re leaving me?” His mom asked, her eyes wide and her voice vulnerable. No, he didn’t want that tone, those words. He wasn’t like his dad. This was different, “Where are you going to go? Why?”
“No, mom, don’t say it like that,” Giovanni pleaded. Not the questions she had asked his dad all those years ago. “This is different.”
“How? How is this different?”
Giovanni took a deep breath, holding back tears. “It’s a friend of mine. He’s all alone, and he needs someone to be there for him. He just a kid, he’s fifteen. I can’t let him go on like he is. I can’t let him be alone anymore. Not when I could help him. Please, mom, you have to understand.”
Giovanni’s mom took a deep breath of her own. “Oh, Giovanni. You always had a big heart. I knew when you left, it would be because of that. But I never assumed it’d be like this. I always figured you’d fall in love or something and leave. But this. This is much more than that. To leave for something like this… That’s true bravery.” She walked over to him, hugged him, then ruffled his hair. “That’s just like my brave Giovanni.”
“So you’re not mad?” he asked.
She kissed his cheek. “Of course I’m not mad. You’re going to change that boy’s life. Go. Do the good I always knew you would.”
“Thanks, mom,” Giovanni whispered, his voice straining, “I’ll visit often.”
“Of course.”
He finished packing silently, gave his mom one last good bye, and got back in the car. So he really had been able to grow into someone she could be proud of. He could be proud of himself, even. When he was younger, he always had a fear of growing up and being like his father. He was wrong, and he couldn’t be happier. He could stick with his family, both that he was born into and that he had discovered. He learned to live by his heart, to love and love the world and everyone around him with all his heart, and he was rewarded handsomely. All around him there was love, and he was loved, and he couldn’t be happier. He doubted his dad had found this kind of happiness in his life of constantly moving around, running and running and never slowing down, looking for love for the meantime instead of for his lifetime. Giovanni was thankful he had a lifetime of love ahead of him.
He was right outside the apartments already, suddenly, somehow, and he parked. He took a moment to compose himself from all the emotions he was feeling. Once he was calmed down, he went inside. He went down the rows. “105… 105…” he said to himself under his breath scanning the numbers on the doors. He hoped that Sylvie would be happy with him. He didn’t want to disappoint the boy. Not after everything else that had happened to him. Giovanni knew how it felt to feel alone, and he knew how it felt to have a parent reject him. How horrible, Giovanni thought, to have two parents like that, like his dad. Someone who made it known they did not love you, and then did not care when they didn’t have you anymore, or worse, grateful that you were gone.
“105!” he exclaimed softly, knocking on the door. Sylvie would just have to make do with a barely adult that made minimum wage at a part-time job he worked at after school everyday, and ate soup every other night.
Sylvie opened the door, eyes wide with thankfulness and wonder. “You… Actually came back for me.”
“Of course I did!”
Sylvie tackled him into a hug. A real hug. A hug that wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, something Sylvie was not able to do just that Friday. “Thank you!” Sylvie cried.
Giovanni hugged back, feeling warm pride Swelling up his heart. “C’mon Sylv, let’s make us some dinner.”
Sylvie let go. “Okay.” Sylvie was crying a little bit. “I’m sorry,” Sylvie laughed sheepishly, wiping away tears, “I’m just happy. For once, I don’t feel alone.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Giovanni told him, “I’m just happy you actually want me around. I hope I’m a better help than I feel like I’m going to be.”
“Giovanni, you’re helping me so much already. I have a job, I don’t need money. I just need someone to tell me I can take a break and help me take proper care of myself. And cooking. I can’t cook.”
“Well, I can make us something right now. You’ve got at least a pot in you’re kitchen, right?”
“Maybe. Are we having soup?”
“...Yes.”
Lo and behold, Sylvie actually did have a pot in his kitchen. It was one of the few items in his kitchen that could be used for cooking. Giovanni whisked up a wonderful tomato soup for them to share. To Giovanni’s delight, Sylvie loved it. “You can make it again whenever you like!” Sylvie told him.
Sylvie had never been happier, and neither had Giovanni.
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A/N
That's the end!  BUT this is a part of a series.  Keep an eye out for when the other one comes on here.
(Or ask me for a link to my AO3 and read it right now if it's not out here yet.  I keep forgetting to post these things on here)