Taking On The World (A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Was It Better To Have Never Loved?

Ava’s P.O.V.

My head landed against the pillow. My heart raced violently inside of my chest. There was an angry blaze in Niall’s eyes. Why had he pushed me? Why was he so upset? Why was I suddenly so scared of the person I loved? I opened my mouth to speak Niall’s name, but my throat was too dry. More tears streaked my face.

“What did I do?” I asked. My voice was barely audible.

Niall looked hard at me. He furrowed his eyebrows together. “What did you do?!” He repeated my question fiercely, spreading hate over his tongue.

I didn’t dare another touch to his body.

“Ava,” he said, quieting his voice a little. “You scared the ever-living, almighty, hell out of me. You scared the hell out of everyone. You’re stupid stunt made me think you were dead. Do you know what was going through my mind when Louis carried you into Harry’s room that day?! I was thinking ‘oh, my God! She’s dead! The girl I’m absolutely in love with is dead!’”

He paused a moment, and turned his back to me. Then he spoke again.

“And then Louis said you had hurt yourself. That you had grabbed that damned razor, and you had cut your own skin. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe any of it. But the evidence was right there on your arms.”

He turned back to face me. His icy eyes had returned back to their original color, and a tear traveled slowly from the corner of his eye, to the bottom of his chin.

“I don’t know someone as bright and intelligent as you could’ve done something as dangerous, and stupid, as you did.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, brushing away tears with the back of my hand.

Niall shook his head slowly. “You’re not. You are not sorry!”

“I am!” I said, my voice rising in anger. Why wouldn’t he believe me? “Niall, I didn’t know what I was doing! I wasn’t think---”

“You weren’t thinking at all!” he interjected.

“I know that!” I screamed.

Niall looked taken aback. I seized the moment to continue my argument. “I know I made a stupid mistake. I know I scared everyone. But I’m sorry! I’m sorry I put everyone through all of this, and I’m sorry you’re in here screaming at me.”

Niall took a step closer towards me. He leaned his face down to where it was mere inches from mine.

“You’re selfish, Ava Reeves. Did you even think about how I felt? No, of course not! You didn’t care about me.”

I squinted my eyes, and I glared. I was fed up. He wouldn’t here me out. He wouldn’t listen to the apologies I was spewing out. I didn’t want him in here.

“Niall,” I said slowly, “get out.”

“Excuse me?” he said, cocking a dark eyebrow.

“Get out.”

Niall shook his head. “You don’t honestly think you can just toss me out like this?”

I took a deep, calming breath. “You won’t listen to me, so I don’t want you in here. Leave the room, and leave me.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” he asked.

There was a hint of hurt in his voice. I didn’t understand why. He had come in yelling at me, blaming me for everything.

Yet, there I felt guilty. After all, this was all my fault, I had brought it on myself and everyone else. But he didn’t understand that I was sorry. No one else seemed that upset with me, so why was he? And why was he being so awful and cold?

Niall parted his lips to speak again.

“Don’t,” I said, stopping his words.

He tried to come closer.

I opened my mouth, and I screamed. “Louis!”

Niall’s eyes widened, and he back away. I yelled for Louis again. Niall turned on his heel, and ran out of the room.

I grabbed a pillow, and tossed it in his direction. I pulled my knees to my face, and I cried loud, hard and long. The sound of running feet brought me to bring my head out of my knees.

Louis was standing in the doorway, looking confused.

“Ava, are you okay?”

I shook my head, and reached my arms out. Louis ran the bed, and wrapped me up in a comforting hug. He didn’t ask anything. The only thing he said was “you aren’t the only one crying right now, Love.”