One Shots [English]

Late Night Talks (Onewe)

Word count: 6,279

Pairing: Kanghyun (Onewe) x OC, gxb

Genre: Friendship fluff

Warnings: Hints of (former) suicidal thoughts, cheating, toxic relationship

Summary: A stranger takes care of a broken hearted Kanghyun, who reveals step by step the story why he's so sad.

Theme Song: Day6 - Congratulations

[A/N: First of all, special thanks to Jojo, Liana, Pauli and funtaesticJK who motivated me and helped me a lot with the translation and correction. Also, thanks to the person who made that beautiful cover.
Second of all, English isn't my first language and this is the first time that I wrote in English. Please tell me if you find mistakes.
Last but not least, I want to become better at writing and need some criticism. I would really appreciate if you'd tell me what you think about my OS.]
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Thought we were meant to be.

Pain.

I thought that you belonged to me.

Tears.

I'll play the fool instead.

Loneliness.

Oh, but then I know that this is the end.

Truth.

Plain truth.
A truth that seemed so untrue, felt so wrong, that everything else seemed unreal too. That everything in front of my eyes became blurred. That took my safe place and let me break down. That took my breath. That destroyed me. That took away my happiness and my joy for life. With a sigh I turned off the music, took the headphones out of my ears and put them back into my pocket. My gaze followed by a small leaf that slowly slid down into the shallow river in front of me. Single drops found their way onto the leaf and let it shine slightly in the moonlight. A full moon. Formerly a symbol for inner warmth and satisfaction. Meanwhile a fading memory which filled me with coldness and dissatisfaction. Generally, the whole place shone with beauty. At least for others. For me it was just a grey, dreary image of pain.
"Where's she?" An unknown voice pulled me out of my thoughts. A girl. She whispered. Why was she whispering? Who was she? I shrugged and acted like I don't know what she was talking about: "Who?" She came closer. I didn't look at her. My eyes were still fixed on the leaf. "That girl" She was still whispering. "Which girl?" I replied, trying to sound emotionless. She sat next to me. "You were often here together. But only when it was full moon. 25 times or something." She took my hand but I pulled it away again. "27 times.", I corrected her. She took off her shoes and stuck her feet into the water below us. Goosebumps spread over her legs, which made me smile. Even when it is summer, the water is cold at night. 2 years and 3 months. And today is the first time that you're alone here. Why?" She had stopped whispering. I didn't know her, but her voice seemed familiar to me. "How do you know about it that much?" I remained emotionless. She giggled. "You're very fixated on her, aren't you? Another reason why it's weird she isn't here. I come here everyday for the last 3 years. It's a part of my evening routine. I can't fall asleep otherwise." She explained to me. I looked at her. Now her eyes were on the leaf that was slowly being carried away by the slight flow of the river. Unlike me, she didn't seem to be inhibited. Not frantic. Rather dreamy. "Why are you even interested?" I asked confused. She just shrugged and slowly moved her feet in the water, propelling the leaf. "I'm just curious." I sighed and ran my fingers stressfully through my hair. "Not here." I got up to leave, but was held on. "Please don't go." Just like her eyes, her voice was pleading. I just sighed again, but sat down again. "Thank you. I didn't want to annoy you and certainly didn't scare you away." I nodded because I didn't have the strength to answer with words. I searched the riverbed with my eyes. The leaf was already washed away by the flow of the river. Gone. Just like her. The water in front of my eyes made slight waves as small drops of water hit it. Tears. My tears. "It's because of her, am I right?" She put an arm around me after I nodded weakly. Yes, it was because of her. Yuri. Lee Yuri. The reason, the only reason I was here this day. The reason why I've been already here 27 times before. Yuri, the reason for my tears. For my pain. But at the same time someone I owe my life to. "Will you tell me what happened?" She whispered again. "Why are you whispering?" I asked without paying any attention to her question. "To instill trust.", she replied calmly, still whispering, "So that you feel more secure. And more welcome. To keep your inner self warm." At the end she stopped whispering, but remained quiet and calm. She pulled me closer to her, into her arms. I didn't do anything against that, even though it was a strange, unfamiliar feeling. After a short time, she gently stroked my back. Enjoyable, but also unusual. "I don't know." I replied after a while. This time I was the one who whispered. "What do you not know?" She asked a little confused. "Whether I'll tell you what happened or nor." I clarified, as I laid my head shyly on her shoulder. "That's okay. Tell me what you want and remain silent about the things that make you feel uncomfortable. The most important thing is that you feel good." She assured me. I put my arms around her and pulled her into a shy hug, after which she gently ruffled my hair and giggled. A slight, reserved smile crept onto my lips, which is why I finally started to recount: "We were together." Her movements slowed down a little bit. "You and the girl?" she inquired. I nodded and continued: "Yuri. That's her name. Lee Yuri. She was my girlfriend." I sighed. "My first one, I want to mention. I was used to get fooled by my friends, or rather classmates, because I was the only one who hasn't had already a girlfriend, but that never changed anything. I just didn't fall in love. And even if I did, I probably would have been too shy to speak to the person." She tightened the hug a bit, which startled me at first, but then I enjoyed the closeness and attention of another person. Even if I still didn't want to admit it to myself, I knew that it was exactly what I needed. "What about her? How did you get to know her?" She wanted to know. "It's a pretty cheesy story, I think." I uttered while I laughed shyly. "Who doesn't like cheesy love stories?" She smiled encouragingly. Even though I wasn't looking at her face because my head was still on her shoulder, I could hear it in her voice. "Well, that's right-" I started a little shyly. "You probably noticed it already, but playing the guitar is a passion of mine." She nodded. "You played here a lot for her. At least 10 times." I smiled a little and continued talking: "13 times, to be exact. At least here." I sighed heavily again. "But to get back to the story, I'm already playing for years and I do it really often and I really enjoy it. Even before I knew her. I came here often when I had time. Mostly during the day, but also sometimes in the evening. Just rarely at nighttime. This place is beautiful, but probably not beautiful enough to go out in the evening. And probably too quiet for young people. There were rarely a lot of people here, if anyone was here at all. So, an almost perfect place to calm down and let your thoughts stray. I think most people feel the same way, but for me calming down means to pursue my passion, as in playing my guitar. I often covered songs. Songs that got stuck my head all day long or songs that simply described my current mood. But sometimes it happened that I just played anything. Not a special song but anything that went trough my head and that feels right in that moment. Whenever I did this, I just ignored what it sounded like and played how I felt. It was winter, about a year before we got together, when she sat down next to me. It was just evening, but since it was winter, it was already as dark as if it was midnight. Basically, it was similar to today. Full moon, dark and this place. The only difference was, that it was way colder and I had my guitar with me. Like every time during winter, I took heating pads to warm my hands in between so that it didn't hurt when I plucked the strings. It's because I'm this cliché guitar player who has incredibly sensitive hands." I laughed briefly. "Not just sensitive hands." The girl murmured. I gave her a quick, confused look, but since she made no move to explain, I thought it would be better to just leave it at that and tell my story: "I usually go back home when those pads have cooled down. But this day it was different. I felt that it wasn't time to leave. I didn't want to go. So, I gritted my teeth and struggled through the pain. Of course, the pain affected my play. I often gambled away and took too much time between the individual notes until my hands were ready again. I didn't know if she was there more often and had heard me, or maybe she just walked casually by that day. It doesn't matter. The only important thing is she was there and she noticed something was wrong. She came to me and took my hands. Her hands were very warm and after a short while this warmth spread onto my hands. She said something like 'Now play something for me, little Penguin!', which of course I did." I closed my eyes to be able to recall the scene. The tears came again. I missed her. I missed her so much. I needed her. I still loved her. "Why did she call you penguin?" She whispered again. Doubtless because she had noticed I started to cry. "She said I remind her of this animated penguin from that children's series, Pingu. She wasn't the first to feel that way. In fact, penguin was kind of an occasional nickname of mine before. However, since it has always been difficult for me to speak to people and I've never really had any friends, I no longer have anyone to call me that. Unfortunately." I blushed slightly and pressed my face carefully into her shoulder. "Hasn't anyone ever spoke to you on their own?" She questioned incredulously. "Of course, they did. There were a few. Mostly others who were never really popular in the class or something. Sure, for what other reasons should you talk to the 'Weirdo' when you have another choice and can talk to someone else? But that never became a really close friendship either. I'm not usually that kind of person who talks a lot." I laughed a little helplessly, firmly convinced she would not think I'm a liar. "I'm even more proud that you can tell me all this that detailed and comprehensive, you cute penguin." She mentioned, clearly proud. She didn't seem to be lying, which calmed me down but made be blush even more. "You don't have to be embarrassed to be a cute penguin.", she giggled. "I am not cute." I contradicted in a pouting tone. "Oh, you're not? And what do you want to call it that you've been lying in my arms and telling me about your worries for the last half an hour instead?" I shrugged. "A coward.", I replied, "Or being stupid. After all, we don't know each other." She sighed and released the hug to look me in the eyes. "Hey, don't say that. Cowards are the ones who fail to open their hearts and get help. And stupid are those who know they need and can get help, but don't accept it. You're not stupid because you opened your heart to a stranger." She trembled, but her voice was firm. "Are you cold?" I asked her, ignoring her words. "Doesn't matter." She responded just as firmly, but this time without trembling. "It does. I answered you, now it's your turn. And please be honest." She nodded hesitantly but seemed to doubt whether it was a good idea to answer. I took off my jacket and put it with the words "It's very thin, but still better that nothing." carefully over her shoulders. "But now you're cold!" She protested compassionate. "That doesn't matter. You've already done so much for me, I should retaliate! And Girls become cold way faster than boys and freeze more, so everything is fine." I smiled gently at her while saying that. "But then at least I want to wrap you in my arms again." She demanded stubbornly. Softly giggling, I put my head back on her shoulder, my arms around her, and waited for her arms to do the same to me. "Then tell me, penguin, how did you two get together?" I closed my eyes again and projected the picture back in front of my eyes. "I played something for her. Ed Sheeran's Castle on the Hill. A wonderful song in my opinion. Like most of his songs. She felt quite the same and therefore asked me to play another song by him afterwards. Of course, I did it. I played his songs until my hands froze again. And I sang individual passages a few times as well." My cheeks turned red again. "I really like to sing, but I don't do it that often. I'm just too shy for that. And unlike playing the guitar, singing is just a hobby and not a passion to me. But after my hands and hers were cold like ice and I just couldn't play the guitar anymore, we stayed here anyway. Neither me nor she left. While I was playing she leaned against me and put her head on my shoulder. I-it was kind of like what I'm doing with you right now. Only that she was sitting next to me and not that she was laying in my arms." I was quiet for a moment and waited for her reaction. She seemed to notice that I was waiting for something and began to stroke my back. "Cute. Did you like it as much as I do?" She asked calmly. "It was a bit weird. I never really felt the need to take care of anyone. I was never the kind of person who likes to wrap someone in my arms." I looked up to the sky where the full moon was shining at me. "Rather the one someone takes care of? The kind of person someone wrapped in their arms?" She questioned. I nodded slowly as an answer. "That suits you a lot better." She grinned. "And it's better for me too." She replied, hugging me tightly. "Why didn't you tell her that back then?" I shrugged. "I liked her. She was nice to me and warmed up my hands. And she was the one who started the conversation. I also was hopeful. Hopeful because I thought I might have a chance to have a friendship again. A real friendship. A close friendship. I didn't want to mess up everything right away, so I just did things that were unusual for me." It was quiet between us for a moment. I went through our whole story again in my mind. For the seventh time today. I relived all the feelings I had. And I wept away the tears again. "What kind of things?" She sounded hoarse. No, she sounded like she wanted to hide something. As if she was suppressing something. "What's wrong?" She didn't answer. "Tell me what kind of things you did." She demanded. "Tell me what's wrong." I repeated. She gave up and promised: "Later. Promise. But it's your turn first." I was okay with it and started to enumerate: "You should know that after this evening we became really close friends and I wanted to maintain this friendship as long as possible. So, I took on the role of the person who started the conversation. We gave each other our phone number and after a few days on that we spent a lot of time together, I started some kind of ritual. She was the kind of person that wakes up really late while I was the kind of person that wakes up really early in the morning. So, I wished her a good morning every morning. And we had a phone call every evening. She asked me to play the guitar or to sing for her. Or just to speak, because the sound of my voice helped her a lot with falling asleep. I would be lying if I'd say that I didn't wish something like that for myself. Someone who takes care of me and makes sure that I can fall asleep well. As I said, I've never seen myself in the role of the one caring for someone else. But to maintain the friendship with her, it was worth to me. Then she was a big fan of going to some club or bar in the evening, while I preferred to go to places like this and enjoy the silence. But because I wanted to make her happy, I often came with her to those places. When we were in a relationship, we agreed that we would always spend full moons here and enjoy the silence. But in general, she was more of a fan of places where there are many people, where it was loud and especially when there was alcohol, which I don't like at all. And she also thought that the man or boy in a relationship, whether it was a friendship or a real relationship, is the more dominant and the one who takes care of the woman or the girl. Maybe that applies to the most, but to me not at all." She seemed to be deep in thoughts, which I concluded from the fact that she didn't react to my words and her movements had slowed down considerably. Since I didn't want to disturb her, I just enjoyed the moment in silence. The warmth she gave me though the hug and the beautiful view. "Didn't you ever tell her you weren't like that?" She broke the silence after a while. Still relaxed, I shook my head. "Why?" I straightened up a little and answered her question: "I liked her. I really did. So much that at some point I started loving her. More than I've ever loved anything or anyone. More than I've ever expected to love something or someone. She was the first and of course, the only girl I've ever fallen in love with. To whom I've given my heart and dedicated all my feelings. The first person to be in my thoughts all day and in my dreams all night. The first whose mere thought kept making me smile broadly and made my heart beat faster. The feelings completely overwhelmed me back then. And they still do. Just that they were beautiful back then. Even when they hurt, it was a beautiful kind of pain. Now it's just a cruel, rough pain. A kind of pain that only tears you apart from the inside." The tears overwhelmed me again. Memories dragged me down again. My feelings destroyed me again. "Do you know what I noticed? You cry quietly, without any noise. How do you do that?" I looked up. She was right. I had never noticed by myself. "I-I just let the tears flow. I don't know. I-it just h-happens. Why do you ask?" I stuttered. "To distract you so that you stop crying, Pingu." She responded honestly. It worked. No sooner had I thought about anything else than my feelings ceased to destroy me. At least they stopped destroying me that much. "How did you know that would work?" I mumbled in her ear. She smiled slightly. "I have a little sister and I often had to make her feel better. Do you want to take a break from talking?" I nodded cautiously. She let go of me and I sat next to her. "What's your name actually?" I wanted to know. "Lian. Wang Nai Lian." She replied immediately, as if she had been waiting to finally answer this question. "Taiwanese, right?" I asked. "You're right. And you're Korean, right, Hyungu?" I swallowed as it froze down my back. "How do you know my name?" I trembled slightly with fear. I was sure I didn't say my name once in the whole conversation. "Later." She said firmly. I nodded. At first just slowly, as a sign that I agreed, then a little faster, in response to her question about my nationality.
"It's beautiful here." She whispered after a few minutes of silence, looking up at the sky. "You're so right." I agreed. She put an arm around me and pulled me back a little. "Are you ready to tell me more? Or do you need some more time?" I shook my head and assured her: "I'm ready." I played nervously with a few blades of grass next to me and let my feet hang back into the water. "How did you get together?" I rowed slightly with my feet in the water to create a soothing splash. "We were here. Two years and three months ago. 26 full moons ago. I had my guitar with me and played some love songs for her. Self-composed. At the moment when I played them, she didn't know that yet. I had long considered what to do and how to tell her about my feelings. However, the moment she smiled at me and told me how beautiful the song was, I knew that my plan had failed. From that moment on, I just let everything happen and followed my heart. I did what my feelings told me. I blushed and looked shyly at the floor. She pushed my face up a bit at the chin and smiled at me. A simple smile. It triggered so much in me. My cheeks literally exploded at that moment and I was sure I looked like a tomato. My heart started racing. It got so fast I was sure it was already unhealthy. But all of the sudden it became a minor issue. In general, everything seemed to just to disappear. I've read so many romance novels and watched so many cheesy movies, but I've always suspected that all of this was completely over the top. It wasn't. Not a bit. On the contrary, it was completely understated. Everything around us disappeared. The sounds echoed away from us. The only ones left were her and myself. How we looked at each other. I looked in her beautiful, golden brown eyes and she in mine. I looked on her pink, soft lips and she on mine. She was beautiful. But I'm sure you know that since you've seen us together several times. But that day, from that day on, it was different. She was more beautiful. I'll never be able to forget this picture. How the moon shone through her brown curls and lit up half of her face. I don't know how it happened, it just did. I kissed her. I never expected having the courage to overcome my shyness and just kiss her. But I did. And she returned the kiss. It was the most beautiful feeling of my life and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. It wasn't a long kiss, but a beautiful one. But no sooner it had ended and my shyness returned. I realized what I have done. What would've happened if she hadn't wanted to? I would've lost her. Probably forever." I dug my fingernails into my shirt to keep myself from crying. "But luckily that wasn't the case. She returned the kiss, as well as she did my feelings." I looked shyly at the floor. "It was my first kiss. I didn't know how it worked. How to kiss. How to kiss well! But I'm glad I did. That it happened." I smiled lightly at the floor and felt my heart floating again when I remembered it. Seconds after that I was back on the ground and realized that all of that was over, I continued: "The relationship with her was probably the best as well as the worst that could've happened to me." I took a short breath, in which Lian asked, why. "I was no longer myself. No, worse. I had forgotten who I am. I loved her more than anything else and I didn't want to lose her or risk that she could start liking me less. So, I started acting and talking like the way she likes the most. I replaced my real self. My real personality. And created a new self. A different one. A better one. At least for her. Not for me, not a bit. But it didn't matter. It took its time, but after a while I got used to being a different person. Started ignoring the pitiful cries of my real inner self. And I started ignoring the pain..." "You were in pain? What pain?" She interrupted me a bit upset. I affirmed this with a short, gentle nod before continuing my speech: "Pressure, pain, whatever you want to call this. I wasn't myself. I was no longer in control of my actions. I suppressed myself, the real me. Of course, it hurt. Incredibly painful. You can't imagine how bad." I leaned back a little and rested on my hands. "Can't I?" She asked somewhat skeptically. I closed my eyes. "Maybe. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. Why?" I replied. "Later.", she said calmly, "After you finish talking." I smiled a little. "Well, the pain was definitely unbearable.", I resumed my story, "But not as cruel as the thought of living without her. I forgot my pain. Which doesn't mean that it disappeared or I managed to hide them. But I forgot the cause of my pain. Just as I had forgotten myself before. I just wanted to be the way Yuri liked me the most. Because she meant everything to me. And she did a lot for me too! She supported me in one of the hardest times of my life. I would even say the hardest right after the current one. If not the roughest in general." I looked up at the sky. "Beautiful.", I sighed heavily, "Just beautiful." Lian put an arm around me and mildly stroked my shoulder. "What did she help you with, Pingu?" She tried to hide it, but her concern was clear in her voice. "I had a sister." I said even though it was very difficult to say. My head fell down and I started sobbing loudly. "You h-had a sister? Pingu, why had? What do you mean by that? What happened?" She sounded surprised. Very surprised. And shocked. A normal reaction. But something bothered me about it. Something wasn't right. Something was wrong. I pushed these thoughts away for now and concentrated on calming down again. "Yes. I had a sister. Hyejin, that was her name, was born sick. Her heart was weak. Too weak. She spent her entire childhood in the hospital for some kind of surgery. It was finally over a few years ago. She came out on her 15th birthday, but we had to be careful that she was hardly exposed to stress, as it could have been problematic otherwise. And we did! Every evening when she couldn't sleep or just wanted me to stay by her side, I played her one of her favorite songs on the guitar." Tears streamed down my face. "Often it was sad songs. Songs that were about death. We knew she wouldn't live as long as normal people. Me and our parents knew that. We tried to keep it a secret from her. In vain, of course. But how should that even be possible? She received extra treatment all her life. She got private lessons, although we could hardly afford it. How could she feels normal about such things and have no idea?" I narrowed my eyes. "But she also asked me to play her love songs. She often told me she wanted a relationship before she died. Or at least a friendship." I swallowed. "I always told her that I was her friend. That always made her smile and she always assured me I was the best friend she could ever imagine. It meant so much to me. More than anything else at this point. But sometimes she asked about songs I had composed myself. She knew I didn't have many of them because I rarely write them down, but rather play by feeling. Sometimes she asked about that. Whenever she noticed something was going wrong in my life. She always looked after me, although that was my job with her. That's why she sometimes asked for songs I had composed myself. She knew how shy and self-critical I was and she always assured me that the song, just like my guitar playing, was beautiful. Our parents had barely time for us because they worked so much to be able to afford private lessons. That's why Hyejin and I always took care of each other. We had a lot of late-night conversations, where mostly one special question came up. 'Will mom and dad be happier when I'm gone?' She always asked me. You can't blame her, because our parents had lots of stress because of her illness. But every time she asked, I promised her, and I was 100% honest, that our parents love her and are happy she exists. And even if not, I could never be really happy again if she were no longer my cute little sister. But then came the day when I had to start studying and move out. I barely had time for Hyejin. It broke my heart. I just wanted to be with her again. Hug her. And play the guitar for her. Our parents got into arguments more and more often and I wasn't there to help Hyejin. It was my duty as a big brother! But that wasn't everything. A short time before our parents broke up, it must have been about sixth month ago, Hyejin and I got into an argument. Because of my behaviour. She accused me of no longer being myself. And in a way, she was right. At that point, however, I no longer noticed it myself. And since she never liked Yuri, I just thought that's the reason back then. Shortly after our parents broke up, s... she..." I started crying softly but also violently. "I-it was all my fault. I s-shouldn't have left her alone. I should've been there for her. I had to s-support her. B-but I was so stupid and didn't do it. I didn't notice it! I-I should've thought about how hard it would hit her!" I stuttered. Lian softly stroked my back and tried to calm me down: "Hey... Hyungu... Don't say that. It wasn't your fault." She looked at me pityingly and carefully wiped the tears from my face. "You did everything for her, you were a great brother." She added. I shook my head wildly and felt my heart break again. The second time that day. "She is dead! And I could've prevented that if I hadn't been such an idiot and just been there for her! But no! And instead of simply accepting the pain as punishment, I let Yuri comfort me! No wonder she's gone! I should've just followed Hyejin as I wanted to at first." Lian stared at me in shock. Even more shocked than before. "No! Pingu! Stop that right now, you SHOULD live! That's important to ME! That's important to Hyejin! It's important to everyone who matters!" She almost shouted. "Stop talking like you know me or Hyejin right now! Just stop! You barely know me and don't know her at all!" I hissed unintentionally. It just happened, against my will. I was startled. Scared of myself. "I-I'm sorry." I stammered when I realize what I had done. The only person to whom I seemed to begin to mean something, and perhaps the only one I would ever mean anything to again. She looked at me. But neither surprised nor angry, but understanding. "No. It's okay. You're nerve-wracked, your emotions are killing you and you can't possibly know about it. It's okay. Just tell me, should I go or should I stay? Do you want to be alone or have someone to stay with you? Do you want to go on with speaking or take rest?" I slid a little closer to her. "Is that okay?"" I asked. She nodded and smiled briefly at me. "Please stay. And if it's okay, I would still like to tell the end." I responded. "Of course, it is. More than that. I'm glad about it. Besides that, I was the one who asked, wasn't I? So, tell me, how could this, at least for her dreamlike relationship end?" Lian smiled softly, which I could only return weakly. I took a deep breath and ended my story: "She cheated on me. For 9 months. That's a third of our entire relationship. And I just didn't notice it. No, worse. After I found out, she promised me it would never happen again, and after a few weeks in that we took a break of our relationship we approached each other again, she broke the promise right on the first day. Today. And as the idiot I am, I trusted her and thought she'd still love me. Just me." I rubbed my eyes, but had stopped crying again and didn't start again. "She's a bitch." Lian said coldly, drilling her fingernails faintly into my shoulder. I swallowed because of the pain, whereupon she looked at me apologetically and loosened her grip a little bit. "Maybe. Maybe she is. No, probably she is. But at least I am rid of this monster now and can be Kang Hyungu in peace again.", I agreed, "Even if it will take time until I forget her or can get over her." Lian grunted understandingly. "Obviously it will. But you can do it, even if it takes time. And I will support you." She promised in a firm and serious voice. I looked at her gratefully with a hint of joy. "But I guess it's my turn to tell. I actually don't have a lot to say and will be brief if that's okay." She giggled. I gave her a quick approval and then looked at her waiting and asking. "Well, where do I start? So, as I said, I also have a sister. Also, a younger one. About the same age as Hyejin. Her name is Tzuyu. When you said Hyejin had no one, you weren't quite right. Shortly after you were gone, she met Tzuyu. They've been to our home many times and Hyejin has told us a lot of good things about you. She almost always talked about you and there was never a bad word. Just about your girlfriend. She suspected that she wasn't entirely loyal. And that killed her. She was worried about you. She just wanted you to be happy. You, the person who brought her happiness and joy in life. She just wanted you to be fine no matter what happened to her. At some point her life stopped meaning anything to her. She knew she didn't have much time left. And when I asked her why she was this laid-back, she replied that the most important thing for her wasn't her life, but the happiness of her brother. I had heard a lot about you at this time and I just wanted to get to know you. I asked her what her brother looks like and..." She got something out of her pocket. "She gave me this picture." The girl held out a picture. A selca with me and Hyejin. "S-she gave you that?" My voice was brittle and squeaky. I would've expected anything, even that she was a werewolf. But never that she had anything to do with my sister. "Yes, she did. And when she laid in the hospital bed, at least Tzuyu, who had visited her, told me from her that I should look after you and take care of you because she could no longer worry now." There was silence between us. Minutes of silence. Pleasant silence. "Then you got all the information about me from Hyejin?" I was still incredulous. Lian nodded carefully. "She loved you, Pingu. And she still does. Don't do that to her and don't blame yourself for her death. Try to be strong for her and smile for her like you used to do." Lian asked me to. I forced a slight, dazed nod. "Thanks." The girl purred happily. I looked at the sky, at the full moon, and then at the mirrored imagine in the water. Countless feelings ran through me once. My head was all empty, as if all thoughts had been washed away by the river. But I knew at least one thing. Even though I couldn't clearly determine what I was feeling right now, I could say that I felt better by worlds than before the conversation. Before Lian.
"Are you ready for someone new in your life?" Lian whispered again. As at the beginning. Everything was like the beginning. Just that everything was different.
"It will take me time to get over that with Yuri." I answered.
"I'm just talking about a friendship." Lian purred.
"I know." I replied with a smile, put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. Everything was perfect. For her, as well as for me.
For us.