Alis POV:
Fat.
It's always been my identifier.
It's always determined who I am.
Forget getting to know someone, first impressions are eveything, and when you're a size 14, you're seen as obese; ugly; flawed. Especially when you're a teenager.
No one ever really gives me a chance and tries to get to know me, instead, they just pin me as 'that one fat girl'.
When you're surrounded in a swarm of pretty, tall, and skinny girls, your self-esteem just plummets even further down.
At my school, I'm the only large girl. There's a few boys my size -some even larger- but it's socially acceptable for boys to be on the large side; there's a double-standard. Girls on the other hand are always trying to find ways to shrink themselves - make themselves smaller. Girls are supposed to be pretty, not fat.
The lunch tray in my hands thuds against the steel counter, my reflection unflattering. I slide it along as I travel down and observe the selection of food to pick from for lunch. The boy in front of me grabs a big, greasy slice of pepperoni pizza, not even second guessing his decision; not even contemplating how many calories are in it.
I grab a slice for myself. What's the big deal? I was fat anyways, but there was always this little reminder in the back of my head saying, "today is the day you start your diet!" Diets were always something I struggled with. Temptation of the junk food around me resulted in relapse and cheating this si called "diet".
However, today was a different day. Maybe I'd stick with it?
I go for healthier choice and pick a salad box, mainly because I always felt judged by everyone if I ever ate anything unhealthy like burgers, cookies, chips, pizza; anything with too much flour or sugar.
They'd all asume I had no self-respect for myself, stuffing my face and packing on the pounds.
As I ring uo my order, the cashier- who's in her mid 40's- asks, "Do you want something to drink, sweetie? Maybe a soda?"
In a way, she reminded me of my mother. Always offering me sweets out of pity, thinking it'd numb the pain. Well, at first it did, but now it's just a cycle.
"No, I'm okay. Can I just have a water?" I decline her offer. I was such a damn liar though. I'd be damned if I wouldn't have preferred some soda; a carbonated concoction packed full with sugar and caffeine.
I scurry over to the condiments table, waiting for the girl in front of me to finish pumping ketchup on her plate.
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this isnt really the end of the chapter just a quick update cause i havent updated in 5ever 💘💘
xoxo,
makenzy💛
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Paper Airplanes
Fanfiction" I don't have to the right body to be loved " She said to herself. Tears streaming down. Hopes going low.
