“Sorry,” he says, using a napkin to wipe me down. “You ready to get out of here?”
“Sure,” I say.
He takes me by the hand and we leave Starbucks together. Are we going steady? This is all happening so fast! I ask him if he has a girlfriend.
“I’m not a ‘girlfriend’ kind of guy,” he says.
Okay, so he’s not a “girlfriend” kind of guy. And he’s not gay. Or is he? I’m trying to decode what he means, but the words keep bouncing around in my head like a broken magic eight ball, the answer never surfacing.
I step onto the sidewalk and trip over a homeless guy, flying headfirst into the street. Damn my clumsiness!
“Look out, Anna!” Earl screams. He pulls me back with both hands just as a hipster on a unicycle zips by, narrowly missing me by inches.
One minute I was walking along, happy to be alive—and the next, my life was flashing before my eyes. I’m not that interesting, so the slideshow of my life was painfully dull and mercifully short, but still. I was almost crushed to death by a hipster with a twirly mustache. Now Earl Grey is cradling me in his arms, and I feel like I’ve been born again. Like I have a second chance at life. I sniff him, and inhale his manly scent: Coconut Lime Breeze body wash from Bath & Body Works’ Signature Collection. It retails for $12.50.
This guy sure knows his body washes.
YOU ARE READING
Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
HumorYoung, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuff...
