poetry no. 29
hi, my dear hope,
this isn't a poetry but more like a note.
i just want to say before my remaining days will end,
that i love you and will forever love you, nota bene.
it hurts me to confess to you,
when i can no longer see you in the following days.
time is gold and time isn't on our side,
even destiny is betraying us which is a very sad fact.
the disease is eating me whole,
and as i wrote on this parchment my fingers tremble.
severe coughing and shivers running down my spine,
but i still grasp on a smile to tell my family i'm fine.
yet i'm tired of lying, hoseok,
i'm tired of pretending.
that's why i decided to write this last poetry for you.
well, i don't know if this is a poetry right now because it's more like a note. lol.
anyways, as you are reading this,
you will know how much i'd loved you right from the start.
how jealous i was when you're still dating jisoo eonni,
and how happy i was to know you're my partner for the school's festival.
but all of it turned into a fantasy with a blink of an eye,
when i was diagnosed with this illness i least expected in my life.
5 days, i still got 5 days to remain breathing.
but it's like the universe is taking the oxygen away from me,
and now i'm severely suffering—
from this illness, and from missing you badly.
how cruel can life be,
she's no different from death at all.
both are cruel,
and both are merciless.
jung hoseok,
my dear hope,
the light of my life.
i guess, this is a good bye.
thank you for giving me temporary happiness,
and ephemeral sadness.
even if i'd only touched your fingers once,
i was happy to feel your warmth.
now that you've read all of my poems for you,
please accept every single of it through and through.
it's my only wish to you,
and now that i've come to rest,
please promise me to stay positive and awesome.
you're not just the love of my life;
you're my idol,
my inspiration,
my motivation,
and the reason of my depression.
thank you,
i love you,
and will forever love you until the earth stops rotating on its own axis.
even if you can't reciprocate my pitiful and hopeless feelings.
your secret admirer,
lalisa m. ♡
