𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑶𝑵 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲

#8|| lost part 2✿⁎⁺˳✧

w a r n i n g:
blood and maybe angst. if you are uncomfortable, please skip this part.

It has been a week since I've heard from him and i am afraid to say that i wasn't doing well without him. i had no sleep and i barely ate; i was a mess. (c/n) was my only joy, and now he's gone, i'm completely lost. I've been so caught up about how happy i was with him that i didn't think about what would happen to me if he disappeared.

Today was a Friday. I just came home from school and i'm in my pyjamas, hugging my knees to my chest, and, yet again, sobbing my heart out. My tears stained my pillowcase, a cold wet patch appearing on it as i cried even harder. My head ached from how long i was crying.

I felt as if everything was my fault. And it is.

If only i mined my own business, then we wouldn't be in this situation. If only i didn't tell (c/n) i liked him, so at least i'd still have him by my side. I felt and looked like a mess. My grades are slowly flopping and i'm distancing myself from my other friends.

Nothing at this point could cheer me up anymore.

I stood up slowly, ignoring the throbbing pain in my head. Pulling off the sheets, i groggily stood up and headed towards the bathroom. The cold wooden floor made me shiver each step i took.

As i stared at myself in the mirror, i hated myself. I really did.

A tear rolled down my cheek as i stared at myself. I felt sad, angry and disappointed at myself. If only i stayed silent.

No one understands me. Everywhere i go; especially at school, everyone would talk about how it was my fault. How i was the reason everyone's favourite couple broke up.

I didn't mind it at first but everyone's words kept stabbing me. It felt as if i was underwater; Drowning in cold water. My skin tingled with a cold feeling and it hurts. As if knives kept continuously stabbing me. My head is in pain and every time i would scream for help, the water enters my throat.

Instead of water though, it was the judgement of everyone else.

"This is all your fault.." I whispered looking at myself in the mirror. My hands were on either side of the sink and my breathing turned heavy. My chest rose up and down.
"This is all your fault!" I screamed at myself, shaking.

"Why did you say it? Everything was fine! Why did you have to interfere with (c/n)'s relationship?"

"You're so stupid!" I screamed hitting my fist on the mirror, causing it to shatter. Pieces of the glass shattered everywhere. My breathing became uneven and my throat felt oddly dry.

Looking down at my hands, I see that my knuckles were bleeding. The red liquid gushing out of the cuts i had. My vision blurred and i felt light headed.

I felt scared. I wanted to scream for help but i knew no one would hear me.

I started to stumble. Tripping on my own feet. I held on the towel rack by the door, clutching my hair. I heard the doorbell ring, but i couldn't tell if it was in my imagination or not. After a few seconds, it rang again.

I remember feeling so frustrated. Who's ringing it? Why now? I don't want to talk to anyone.

After a third ring, I collapsed onto the bathroom floor, hitting my head. I was still conscious though, but i couldn't move myself. My arm must have hit the shelf above my toilet because toiletries went flying down with me.

I couldn't remember anything, but hearing knocks, thumps and a crash.

And then i blacked out.

hey! someone requested a part two of lost and hereee it is! sorry it took kinda long, we had a bunch of events at school and it's our exams next week lol. anyways, i will make a part three of this soon :)

sorry this was too short, i feel kinda lazy and tired rn🥴