I dont own anything
the beginning...
The first time Blaine noticed the most beautiful man he'd ever seen was in the library. The boy, or the man was maybe more accurate, he seemed to be a few years older than Blaine, was reading a book and taking notes. He was beautiful in a way Blaine hadn't seen in any other man. Not only were his clothes impeccable, Blaine had never seen anyone dress like that, but his whole appearance was strong and masculine. There was a shine to his hair that seemed so real and natural, not like it was put there by a lot of products. It was everything that Blaine's hair was not. He had to tame his hair with lots of gel before he dared to step outside in the morning.
Blaine could only see his profile, but he just knew the man had the most beautiful eyes. Blaine wished he could see those eyes. Eyes had always been his favorite feature in a person. So much could be read about someone just by looking into their eyes. But the man kept staring into his books and didn't look up. Which was probably a good thing because if he did, Blaine would be caught staring.
It was impossible for Blaine to take his eyes away from him. He did this thing where he scrunched his nose when he seemed to read something that didn't make sense to him. It might be the cutest thing Blaine had ever seen. He wished he had the courage to walk up and say hello, but he wasn't one of those who did that kind of thing. He was shy. But even if he wasn't, there was no way someone like him could ever catch the attention of someone like this man.
The second time Blaine saw the most beautiful man he'd ever seen was when he was walking across campus from one class to the next. The beautiful man was standing in a crowd of people, friends Blaine assumed, having everyone's attention, making everyone around him laugh. Blaine wished he could be in that crowd. That he could be a friend to this man. Blaine was never the center of attention, he was always on the outside looking in. But it was fine, he wasn't bothered by the fact that his friends were loud. He preferred to be the one tagging along.
He was so caught up in staring at the beautiful man that he didn't notices the group of girls he suddenly walked straight into. The girl who got her back shoved by Blaine's moving body let out a loud yelp. "Watch where you're going, dork," she said. Loud. Loud enough for everyone around to hear. And everyone did hear. And laughed.
Blaine felt mortified. He was so clumsy. He should watch where he was going instead of daydreaming about a man that was so far out of his league it was ridiculous. He said he was sorry, but the girls had already forgotten about him, turned their backs to him again.
When Blaine looked up, the most beautiful man he had ever seen was looking at him. Blaine's cheeks turned beet red. This was just his luck. Of course the man would notice him when he was making a fool out of himself. Blaine wanted to escape to his dorm room, crawl under his cover and hide away until Christmas.
But then the strangest thing happened. The beautiful man smiled at him. It was small, but it definitely was a smile. It was pity, that's what it was, Blaine thought to himself. He felt pity for the clumsy boy who walked into people. Blaine was too embarrassed to do anything but look at his own feet and hurry to his next class.
The third and the fourth times were both in the library. Blaine was beginning to feel like a stalker. These were all random meetings, but suddenly the beautiful man was everywhere. Maybe they'd crossed paths before, without Blaine noticing, although how that could have happened Blaine wasn't sure. This man would stand out from any crowd, Blaine thought, and not noticing him would be impossible.
Blaine kept stealing glances, unable to focus as much as he would have liked on his own books. Once he was caught. Blaine was staring, without knowing. He was lost in thoughts about this man, wondering what it would be like to be in his presence. He had fantasies about coffee dates and walks across campus grounds. Nothing more, because there was a limit to how much Blaine dared to let his daydreams stray.
There was a loud laughter coming from somewhere that made Blaine jump in his chair. Laughter was rare in this quiet library, any sound really was unusual. Back in reality, back from his fantasies, he realized he was staring, but not only that, the beautiful man was looking back at him. Blaine quickly gathered his books and fled the library. He'd made a fool of himself. Again. He couldn't believe he let himself get caught up in his daydreams, to the extent that he was probably been staring at the man for a very long time. So long in fact that the man felt it and had to look at him to make him stop staring. He was so stupid. He needed to get those fantasies out of his head. Nothing good would come from them, he was sure of that. They weren't even realistic. Blaine was a freshman and the man was probably a senior. Why would someone like him be even remotely interested in someone like Blaine?
Blaine stayed away from the library for a week after that. There was no need to be at the library, not really. He could study anywhere. It was just, the library was his favorite place on campus. It was quiet and all the books he needed were there. After one week he dared to return. He took a different seat than he normally did, in a quiet corner far away from the usual study spots. Far away from where he had seen the beautiful man do his studying.
He had gathered all the books he needed, organized them into neat piles in the order he needed them. His notebook was there as was his favorite pencil. He was so deep into the second book of the day that he didn't notice the beautiful man until he sat down on the empty chair across from his.
"What are you reading?" The man asked.
Blaine was so startled, not being used to being disturbed when studying, that he let out a small squeal. When he looked up, his cheeks turned bright red and he became speechless. The beautiful man's voice was the most beautiful sound Blaine had ever heard. Why was he sitting across from him? Had he done something wrong? Had he taken someone's spot? He was pretty sure the table was free before he sat down.
The beautiful man looked over his pile of books and down at the book in front of Blaine. He lifted it so that he could see the cover. "Ah, you're taking English lit. With Professor Gouldbaum, I assume?"
Blaine could only nod his reply.
"I took that class my freshman year too," the man said. "If you want any pointers, let me know."
Blaine nodded again. Again wondering what the beautiful man was doing there.
"I'm Kurt by the way," the man said.
"Blaine," Blaine managed to get out.
"A beautiful name to a beautiful man," Kurt said and smiled.
Blaine turned into an even darker shade of red. Was Kurt making fun of him? It didn't seem as if he did, but what else could it be? It didn't even cross Blaine's mind that that this man, Kurt, could think of him as beautiful.
"Are you making fun of me?" Blaine dared to ask.
"Why would I do that?" Kurt asked in return, his smile turned into a frown. "You do know that you are beautiful, right?"
Blaine wanted to tell Kurt that he was the beautiful one, but he could never say those words out loud. Instead he bowed his head and looked down at his books. Kurt thought he was beautiful. Blaine still wasn't entirely convinced Kurt was serious, but the words still made him his heart flutter.
"Do you mind if I sit here and study?" Kurt asked him, already picking up his books from his bag.
"No, it's okay," Blaine said, but how he'd get any studying done with Kurt sitting across from him and his heart beating uncontrollably fast, he had no idea.
It sort of became a daily thing after that. Blaine found the quiet place in the library and Kurt came to sit down across from him to study. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just sat there in silence, reading and taking notes. Blaine had to put in extra hours in his room studying every night, because at the library he couldn't focus on the words in front of him.
Blaine had no idea why Kurt chose to sit with him when there were literally hundreds of places to chose from, but he didn't dwell on it. Didn't let his mind get carried away with unattainable dreams and unrealistic hopes. Instead, he kept those moments in his heart and treasured them. He told himself to not get too attached, because he knew Kurt would soon grow tired of his quiet nature and find someone else to talk to.
The thing was though, Kurt kept coming back. For weeks Kurt came back to sit across from him. He didn't seem bothered by Blaine's laconic ways. He encouraged Blaine to talk and express his opinion, but didn't seem bothered when Blaine shied away from it. Blaine was falling so hard and so uncontrollably for this man, it scared him. He could never have someone like Kurt, he knew that, but he couldn't stop his heart from belonging to him.
He knew he was setting himself up for heartbreak, but decided to enjoy the moments he'd have with Kurt before they inevitably ended. He'd felt heartache before and he knew he could handle it.
Blaine was usually very punctual, he always got to the library at the same time. He wanted to be there before Kurt arrived, didn't want to miss out on the maybe small talk they'd have. And even if they didn't talk, just sitting across from the most beautiful man, stealing glances, Blaine didn't want to miss out on that either. So when one afternoon, his professor held him back after class to discuss his latest essay, Blaine was close to freaking out.
He didn't really hear what his professor said or what he agreed to do, all he could think about was missing time with Kurt. If he wasn't there when Kurt arrived maybe Kurt would leave and never come back. He practically ran to the library after his professor let him go, arrived out of breath, cheeks flustered, his coat only halfway on, expecting to find an empty table. Only it wasn't empty. Kurt was sitting there, as were two cups of coffee.
"I'm sorry I'm late," Blaine managed to get out between breaths. "My professor..." he continued but then he had to stop because he couldn't catch his breath and talk at the same time.
"Relax Blaine, there are no appointments to keep here," Kurt said and smiled. "You're timing is perfect."
Blaine sat down in his usual chair, relaxing, smiling back.
"I brought you some coffee," Kurt said. "I walked by your classroom and saw you talking to your professor. He looked stern so I thought you might need some coffee. I don't know what you like so I got you the same as me, a Grande nonfat mocha."
"That's perfect," Blaine said even though that wasn't at all what he'd usually drink. But Kurt brought him coffee, it didn't really matter what it tasted like.
He took a small, tentative sip, and even though he would probably not try this kind again, he appreciated the taste. They sat in silence for a while after that, Kurt studying and Blaine trying to get his breathing and heartbeat under control. Kurt walked by his classroom. Did he know which classes Blaine took? Or did he just happen to walk by?
"There's a party at my frat house tonight," Kurt said after a few minutes. "I was wondering if you would like to come."
Blaine had never been to a frat party, nor could he picture himself attending one. He wanted to spend more time with Kurt, but at the same time he still wasn't quite sure why Kurt kept coming back to his table every day. Maybe he was part of some practical joke and tonight would be the night where he'd be the laughing stock in front of everyone.
"I-I don't think I'll fit in," Blaine said, cheeks reddening, eyes darting away.
"Of course you will, Blaine. You'll be with me."
"Thank you for asking, but I think I will have to say no," Blaine said even though he would like nothing more than to spend time with Kurt. It was just... Blaine knew how this would turn out. Maybe Kurt would be there and say hello to him, but soon his friends would drag him away and Blaine would be left standing alone, feeling awkward, at a party where he knew no one.
"Frat parties aren't really my thing either," Kurt then surprised Blaine with saying. "Want to go and grab something to eat tonight instead?"
Was Kurt really turning down a party to spend time with Blaine? Blaine could hardly believe it. His heart was beating so fast, the thought of spending time alone with Kurt outside the library made his mind spin. It almost felt like a date. Blaine knew it wasn't, but he liked to dream.
"Y-yes, I would like that," Blaine answered, meeting Kurt's eyes.
Kurt's eyes were shining like the sun, his smile grew bigger. "Great, it's a date then. I'll pick you up outside your dorm at eight."
"You know where I live?" Blaine asked, not wanting to focus on the it's a date thing, because surely that was just something Kurt would say without actually meaning what Blaine wanted it to mean.
"Of course I do," Kurt answered. "I know a lot more than you think, Blaine."
Blaine was nervous the entire evening before he was supposed to meet Kurt. He couldn't get the it's a date thing out of his head. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he also knew he was head over heels in love with Kurt. He had no idea where Kurt was taking him, but he wanted to look nice, so he picked out one of his best bowtie, gelled his hair to perfection, and nervously paced his room until it was ten to eight and he couldn't stand to be in there anymore.
When he got outside, he was surprised to find Kurt already there, waiting for him. He was even more surprised to see Kurt carrying a blanket and a picnic basket.
"I know it's the end of September and that the picnic season is practically over," Kurt said when he met Blaine's questioning glances, "but the weather promised to stay mild tonight, and, well... I just love picnics," Kurt continued. And was that a blush to his cheeks? "I hope you don't mind."
Blaine loved picnics, too. And he didn't care about the weather. He'd happily have a picnic in the snow if Kurt had suggested it.
"I love it!" Blaine's excitement was hard to miss.
"Great!" Kurt said and appeared to relax. "I was thinking we could go to the park on Market Street, it's not that far away."
Throughout their walk, Blaine kept wondering why Kurt would go through such an effort to prepare a picnic for him. But Kurt had told him he loved picnics so Blaine didn't dwell on it too much. Instead he offered to carry the basket. Kurt only let him carry the blanket.
Their hands brushed against each other a few times on their walk. Each time it was like a jolt of electricity rushed through Blaine and he wondered how it would feel to touch Kurt, to feel his skin under his fingertips. He was sure it would feel amazing, but he was also sure it would stay in his fantasies.
They were in the middle of a conversation about the new coffee shop that had just opened outside of campus grounds, when once again their hands brushed against each other. Only this time, Kurt fingers ended up laced with Blaine's.
Blaine didn't dare to look at Kurt, afraid that Kurt would realize what he was doing and retract his hand. It wasn't a proper hand holding, just the tips of their fingers holding on to each other, but to Blaine this was everything. The butterflies in his stomach were having a party and his heart was beating in sync with the upbeat party music. Touching Kurt did feel amazing.
Kurt continued to talk as though he had no idea of what he was doing or how it affected Blaine.
The park was quiet and the only other people out tonight seemed to be dog walkers. Kurt took Blaine on one of the smaller paths leading away from the main area to a more secluded part of the park. There, not too far from the path, but not too close either, Kurt selected a spot on the grass for them to put down the blanket. It was getting dark but a nearby lamp post offered a dull yellow glow.
Blaine missed the feeling of Kurt's fingers against his own. Now that he knew what it felt like, he wanted to hold Kurt's hand all the time. But it was probably for the better to not get used to such things.
They sat down on the blanket and Kurt started to unpack the basket. Blaine couldn't believe it, each thing that Kurt put out in front of him was something that he loved. There was pasta salad, chicken sandwiches, slices of melon and pineapple, and lemonade. Blaine loved lemonade. How did Kurt know?
"This is all delicious," Blaine said after he'd tasted a bite of everything. "Where did you get all of this? I need to go there and buy some for myself."
"I made everything myself," Kurt answered.
Again Blaine wondered why Kurt had gone through so much trouble for him. He actually dared to ask that question out loud.
"Haven't you figured that out yet?" Kurt asked, a smile playing on his lips.
Figured out what? Blaine didn't understand what he was supposed to figure out. Blaine nodded and pretended to understand what Kurt was talking about. Kurt tilted his head and gave Blaine a look he didn't understand. Then Kurt started to talk about something else and whatever that was, was gone.
Blaine found himself relaxing in Kurt's presence. Kurt made him feel comfortable in a way no one else he'd ever met had. He was interested in Blaine, asked questions and listened. He made Blaine want to share his thoughts and tell Kurt things he hadn't told anyone else. If it was possible Blaine would fall even deeper, but he didn't think it was.
Kurt moved closer, put his hand on Blaine's. "Look up there," Kurt said before Blaine barely had time to register the touch. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to see, but Blaine's gaze followed Kurt's finger up towards the sky. "That's Mars."
Blaine saw the red planet shining big and bright. "I see it," he said.
"Mars is the God of War in Roman mythology," Kurt said.
Blaine knew this but he didn't understand why Kurt was pointing it out.
"And that silvery shining planet over there," Kurt said and pointed a little below Mars, "is Venus, the Goddess of Love."
Blaine had just found the silvery planet in the night sky, when Kurt leaned in close, blocking Blaine's line of vision and pressed his lips against Blaine's.
Blaine didn't understand what was happening or what he was supposed to do. So he did nothing, his mind too busy with taking in the fact that Kurt's lips were on his.
Kurt pulled away, looking down, looking mortified. "I'm sorry, I thought..." he trailed off.
Oh God! Blaine was finally catching on. Kurt was kissing him and he just sat there like an idiot, doing nothing.
"No." Blaine said, too loud. Kurt looked startled and now Blaine was the one feeling mortified. He looked down at his hands, not daring to look at Kurt. "I'm sorry..."
Blaine felt a finger tilting his chin up, and when he looked up, Kurt's face was right there, next to his.
"Did you not like that? Was it too soon?" Kurt asked, his features worried.
"No, I liked it," Blaine said, his cheeks were burning but his eyes were firm on Kurt's. He'd liked it so much his brain had stopped functioning.
"Do you want me to do it again?" Kurt asked, worry turned into softness.
"Yes, please," Blaine answered and then Kurt's lips were on his again. This time, Blaine didn't just sit there. This time, Blaine received and gave in return. His hand sneaked up around the nape of Kurt's neck, his fingers felt the soft hair there. Kurt hummed into his mouth as their tongues swirled around each other and it might be the most heavenly thing Blaine had ever experienced.
Blaine might actually have whimpered and chased after Kurt's lips when Kurt pulled away. Kurt chuckled softly and placed a kiss on Blaine's nose. Blaine leaned his forehead against Kurt's shoulder, not believing that just happened. Kurt kissed him. Twice. Kurt might actually like him. He wasn't quite convinced yet, but it sure felt like it.
"God, you're adorable," Kurt whispered.
"Do you really think that?" Blaine asked and sat back.
"Blaine..." Kurt said and sighed. "Come here," Kurt made place for Blaine between his legs and Blaine happily settled in, back against Kurt's chest, head resting on Kurt's shoulder. He was slightly nervous about what Kurt was going to say. He still wasn't sure why someone like Kurt would like someone like him.
Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine before he began. "Not knowing how adorable you are, makes you even more adorable."
Blaine felt warmth spreading throughout his body, and it wasn't only because Kurt's arms were wrapped around him like a blanket on a cold autumn day.
"I really like you, Blaine."
"Why?" Blaine knew he shouldn't ask, shouldn't let his insecurities shine through, but he really didn't understand and he needed to understand. He needed to figure out what this was.
"You're beautiful inside and out, without knowing it. You're the kindest and sweetest person I know. You make my heart race whenever you look at me, which is a lot," Kurt said with a little laugh and Blaine was glad he was facing away because he was sure he was blushing. Kurt had noticed all the times he'd been stealing glances. "Your smile just makes me melt, Blaine," Kurt continued. "You're bowties are incredibly cute and you're just truly unique."
Blaine didn't know what to do with all those beautiful words from the beautiful man behind him. But he took them and pocketed them in his heart so that he could take them out and cherish them at a later moment.
"I like you, too," Blaine admitted. It felt strange to say it out loud. He'd been keeping the words hidden for weeks, afraid they would slip out at an ill-considered moment. Now he could say them and it felt strange and freeing at the same time. "You have beautiful eyes."
"Do you really think so?" Kurt echoed Blaine's question from before.
"They sparkle like the surface of the ocean on a sunny May day." Blaine had studied them, he knew.
"Blaine..." Kurt was speechless. Blaine did that.
They sat like that, Kurt wrapped around Blaine, Blaine leaning his body against Kurt's, talking, enjoying being close, for hours. It wasn't until after midnight that it got too cold and they had to give in and admit that they were both freezing. Blaine didn't want to go home, didn't want to leave Kurt, but he knew the night couldn't go on forever, no matter how much he'd like it to.
They parted with a kiss after Kurt had asked for Blaine's phone number. Blaine spend the greater part of the night and the next morning wondering what was going to happen now. Was Kurt his boyfriend? When would they meet again? Would they meet again? They hadn't talk about any of those things and Blaine cursed his shyness for not asking the important questions.
He had Kurt's number, but now he was wondering how soon he could call without seeming clingy. Kurt didn't appear to have the same problem as he called Blaine at ten the next morning, asking him out for breakfast.
They spent most of the weekend together, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, getting to know each other. By Sunday evening Kurt had called Blaine his boyfriend more than once.
Monday brought on a new set of worries for Blaine. Would they continue with their library dates or was that a thing of the past now that they were boyfriends. Blaine loved the moments they shared there and didn't want to miss out on them.
He dared to send a text to Kurt and ask. If he could print and frame Kurt's reply he would.
Kurt
There's nowhere I'd rather be than right where you are.
One night two weekends away, when they were out with Kurt's friends, Blaine surprised Kurt with kissing him in front of them. Blaine never did that. Never initiated intimacy in public, he was scared Kurt might not like it. Blaine still didn't want to seem clingy and needy. He didn't want to risk anything by pushing himself onto Kurt. When Kurt stiffened, Blaine knew he'd made a mistake. He should just stick to let Kurt decide the pace.
When he took a step back, blushing and feeling mortified, Kurt put a hand on the small of his back to stop him.
"Don't," Kurt said.
Clearly a huge mistake was made. Blaine couldn't believe he was so stupid to kiss Kurt in front of his friends. It was just, they'd had a great time that night. Kurt had been happy and relaxed and so attentive to Blaine. Blaine had wanted to reciprocate that with a kiss, had wanted to show him how much that meant to him. But now Kurt was telling him don't kiss me. Blaine wanted to say 'I'm sorry', but he was too mortified to say anything.
"Don't step away from me," Kurt said softly and pulled Blaine closer. "I'm sorry, I was just surprised. I've wanted to kiss you all night, but I wasn't sure you'd wanted me too."
"I always want to kiss you," Blaine confessed.
"Me too," Kurt confessed in return. "You know you can, right? That I want you to."
Blaine nodded, a shy smile on his lips. Now he knew. From that day on he had no problem with kissing Kurt in public.
Kurt's friends called them sickening sweet and ridiculously in love. And now Blaine had something new to worry about. Was Kurt in love with him? He hadn't told Blaine so. Had he told his friends? Blaine knew he was in love with Kurt, that he had been since long before they became boyfriends. But how did Kurt feel?
"What do you want to do?" Kurt asked one sunny Sunday afternoon, when they were lazily lying in Kurt's bed.
"I don't know. You can decide," Blaine answered. Whatever Kurt wanted to do was fine. It was probably what Blaine wanted to do too.
"No Blaine, what do you want to do?"
Nobody had ever asked Blaine that. Not in a long time anyway. Blaine didn't really know what to answer. He wasn't used to voicing his opinion. But if he thought about it there was one thing he did want to do. "I want to take a walk around the lake. Holding your hand." It was a beautiful early November day outside. The air was crisp and the sun was shining. Walking hand in hand around the lake with someone had always been a fantasy of Blaine's.
"Then that's what we're doing," Kurt said. He smiled and pulled Blaine in for a little kiss. "See, that wasn't so hard was it?"
Blaine blushed. It was and it wasn't. Kurt made it easy. Kurt pushed him to be a better person.
They got dressed in wool coats with thick scarves wrapped around their necks. They forwent gloves in favor of proper handholding. There were always a lot of people by the lake, especially on days like that. There were fellow students, families with children, senior citizens, almost everyone it seemed were out walking today.
Kurt walked proudly beside him, holding his hand, pointing out things on their way. Sometimes he stopped just so that he could give Blaine a kiss. Blaine thought this must be what heaven felt like. He couldn't believe he was so lucky to have Kurt as his boyfriend. To have the beautiful man want his kisses. That he was proud to be with Blaine. That he didn't care who saw them together. That feeling gave Blaine new courage.
"What do you feel like doing tonight?" Kurt asked when they're about halfway around the lake.
"There's a new show at the performing arts center," Blaine said. "I would like to see it."
"Oh, I've heard that it's really good," Kurt said.
"There are two shows per night, but I've heard that the late show on Sundays is something extra. Apparently the performers get a little tipsy between shows and the second show is a little less family friendly. I would like to see that one," Blaine said and felt a little naughty.
"Blaine!" Kurt said, sounding shocked, but then he laughed and Blaine knew he was only teasing him. "That sounds like a great idea. I love it!" Kurt added excitedly.
"I love you," Blaine said.
He hadn't meant to say it, but now that he had, he didn't regret it. He loved Kurt and he wanted him to know it.
But when Kurt stopped in his track, turned to look at him, stunned it appeared, Blaine thought he maybe shouldn't have said it after all. Kurt was trying to find a way to let him down gently. Trying to find a way to say thank you, but I'm not there yet.
Despite that, Blaine didn't want to take back his words. He loved Kurt, whether Kurt loved him back or not, he wasn't going to back down from his own feelings. He kept his eyes firmly on Kurt.
Kurt took a step closer to Blaine, pulled Blaine by his scarf until his face was close to Kurt's. "You always surprise me with these things. Never say what I expect you to say," Kurt said, his breath close to Blaine's mouth. "I love you, too, Blaine."
"Oh, thank God," Blaine breathed out. Kurt chuckled.
"Did you not think I did?" Kurt asked. Blaine shrugged. He didn't want to assume.
"I love you so much," Kurt said and kissed him, once, twice. "I thought it might scare you if I told you."
"Why would it scare me?" Blaine didn't understand. How could Kurt telling him the one thing he'd been longing to hear, scare him?
"You're so special, Blaine," Kurt started. "Everything about you... it just blows my mind that I get to be with you, that you want to call me your boyfriend."
It blew Kurt's mind? Blaine could hardly believe it. It was Blaine's mind that was blown.
"I've been in love with you since long before you knew I existed," Blaine admitted. "I used to watch you in the library when you were studying."
"I spotted you on the first day of the semester," Kurt surprised Blaine with saying, "so I don't believe that is true."
"What?" Blaine was confused.
"You stand out in a crowd, Blaine," Kurt said. "And not in the negative sense that you are thinking right now," he added as if he could read Blaine's mind.
"In what way then?" Blaine was curious. They had never really discussed what Kurt saw in Blaine.
"You're beautiful, like movie star handsome, Blaine. You have this cute little smile, your eyes sparkle with excitement, even your walk is cute. I could not not notice you. During orientation I tried to switch to your group, to be your guide, but I couldn't."
"You noticed me on my first day of campus?" Blaine had a hard time fathoming that anyone, let alone Kurt, noticed him. "You saw me before I saw you?"
"Yes, and I also noticed you looking at me in the library."
Blaine blushed. Kurt had seen him stealing glances. "You were the most beautiful man I've ever seen," Blaine said.
"Were?" Kurt teased, but that completely flied above Blaine's head.
"I mean are," Blaine hurried to say. "You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen."
"Have I ever told you how adorable you are?" Kurt said and pulled Blaine in for another kiss. Right there in the middle of the path where everyone could see them.
"Maybe once or twice," Blaine said, out of breath after the kiss, mischievous smile on his lips. "Maybe I need to be reminded once in a while."
He took Kurt's hand in his as they started to walk back to Kurt's place. Blaine was on cloud nine. Kurt saw him. Like, wow. Kurt saw him.
Their first time was Blaine's first time ever. Kurt was incredibly gentle and made sure Blaine was okay with everything they did. He was so caring, so sweet, Blaine felt like crying. When Kurt pushed inside him, tears actually welled up in Blaine's eyes. Kurt thought it was because he was hurting Blaine and wanted to stop. But it was anything but painful. It was everything Blaine ever imagined it would be and more. He pulled Kurt in for a kiss because he couldn't find the right words to say at that moment. A kiss was the only way he could let Kurt know that he didn't want him to stop, that he would want to stay there forever if he could. Soon, Blaine was seeing stars and sweet Jesus, Blaine never imagined it would be that.
Afterwards, Kurt asked him about the tears. Blaine tried to explain, but he wasn't sure if Kurt really understood. Understood that being there with Kurt, being loved by Kurt, was everything to Blaine. Kurt saw him. Nobody had seen Blaine until Kurt stepped into his life.
When Christmas was around the corner, Blaine started worrying about spending time away from Kurt. It wasn't something he was looking forward to. Mostly though, he dreaded going home. He didn't mention anything to Kurt. Didn't want to bring Kurt into his family drama.
Kurt, of course, noticed that Blaine wasn't his usual chipper self.
"What's wrong, sunshine?" He asked one night when they were out drinking coffee at Blaine's favorite coffee place. Kurt knew Blaine's coffee order by now.
"Nothing," Blaine deflected. "Have you tasted these ginger and cinnamon cookies? They're delicious."
"Blaine. What's bothering you? Don't tell me it's nothing, I know you well enough to know that this is not nothing."
Blaine sighed. He told Kurt about not wanting to go home to parents who didn't care if he was there or not. He told him he was going to miss him like crazy and that the thought of spending weeks away from Kurt made him miserable. Then he added that he knew he was being silly for feeling that way because spending time apart was only healthy (or so he'd read).
"Then you're coming home with me," Kurt said as if he didn't have any hesitation at all.
"I couldn't," Blaine said. "I can't interfere in your Christmas celebrations with your family." Although that was pretty much all he wished for Christmas that year.
"Nonsense, you're coming home with me. I'm not going to let you spend Christmas practically alone feeling miserable. Do you know how miserable I would be if I'd let you do that? Besides, my dad is dying to meet you."
So it was settled. Blaine was spending Christmas with Kurt and his dad. He was so nervous the entire trip to Ohio. Kurt told him to stop worrying when Blaine was looking through the airplane magazine for the seventh time. But Blaine couldn't help it. He'd never been anyone's boyfriend, hence he had never met a boyfriend's parent. When Blaine started memorizing the onboard menu, Kurt took it away from him and kissed him until he relaxed. He kissed him there, in the middle of an airplane, where everyone could see them.
Burt was everything Blaine's father wasn't. He was friendly, welcoming, and caring. He listened, paid attention to Blaine's opinions and he loved his son. Blaine felt more at home in the Hummel residence than he ever had in the big house he grew up in.
Christmas was magical. There were board games played in the living room, late night conversations over hot chocolate in the kitchen, morning cuddles in Kurt's bed and long walks in the snow. There were snow angels, and snowball fights where Blaine accidentally hit Kurt right in the face and he spent 15 minutes apologizing. The only way for Kurt to get him to stop was by wrestling Blaine down in the snow and attach his lips to Blaine's. Kurt's lips were cold. Blaine wanted to keep pressing his lips against Kurt's so that they'd get warm again.
There was even a picnic in the snow. Kurt took Blaine to a nearby park, and even though they were sitting on a bench and not a blanket, it made Blaine reminisce about the first time Kurt kissed him. Once those images were in his mind he couldn't stop kissing Kurt. Soon the hot chocolate was cold because there were two men kissing on a bench and none of them cared about drinking chocolate while it was still hot.
Once, when Kurt was in the shower, Blaine found himself alone with Burt in the living room. Burt in his recliner and Blaine curled up on the love seat. The TV was showing some game Blaine wasn't really interested in. He didn't mention anything to Burt, Blaine was a guest and this was Burt's home. He was happy with lying there, daydreaming about Kurt in the shower.
"Is Kurt treating you with respect?" The TV was muted and Burt had turned to look at him.
"Of course, Sir," Blaine answered finding the question odd.
"I've told to call me Burt, son," Burt continued, voice kind and warm.
A warm feeling spread throughout Blaine's body. His own father would never call him son with such affection. Blaine had tried to call him Burt, but it was difficult. It was the way he was brought up. He'd been calling his own father Sir his entire life. Calling Burt by his real name felt disrespectful. But he'd try harder.
"I know Kurt can be a bit controlling at times," Burt continued.
That didn't sound like the Kurt he knew. The Kurt Blaine knew was caring and loving and wanted Blaine to make more decisions in their relationship. He told Burt so.
"Good, that's good," Burt said. "Kurt tends to get that way when he feels he can't control the situation. But with you he's seems very comfortable and relaxed. I would say he's quite smitten with you."
Blaine blushed.
"And you with him?" Burt asked.
"I love him," Blaine confessed. It didn't feel weird confessing it to Burt. He wanted Burt to know. "Kurt is the most amazing person I've ever met. He's good to me and I do my best to be good to him and make him happy."
"I don't think you need to worry about that, son. The way he's been talking about you all fall, the way he smiles whenever you walk into the room, the way he can't be more than two feet away from you - I'd say you make him very happy."
Blaine couldn't help the huge grin on his face. Kurt had been very attentive to him since they got there. Blaine had thought it was because Kurt wanted to make sure Blaine would feel at ease with spending Christmas in a new home. Maybe Kurt's reasons were something else. Maybe Kurt just wanted to be close to Blaine.
"Kurt has never brought someone home to me before. You're very special to him, I hope you know that."
Blaine knew, Kurt had told him. Hearing Burt saying it though, made it somehow more real.
New Year's Eve was spent naked in Kurt's bed. Burt was at a friend's house and the urge to be together had been building over the week. As soon as Burt was out of the house, Blaine found himself being dragged upstairs. Blaine liked it when Kurt showed this want for him. It made him feel special. Chosen.
At midnight, still naked in bed, they shared soft kisses. Kurt promised to always let Blaine know how special he was. Blaine promised to kiss Kurt wherever and whenever Kurt wanted him to.
"I want kisses here," Kurt said and pointed at his inner thigh.
Blaine chuckled. "When I said 'wherever', I meant different places, like the park or in the movies or on campus. Not body parts."
"Why not?" Kurt's pout was as adorable as it got according to Blaine. "This is where I would most like to be kissed."
After that, Blaine couldn't stop himself from kissing Kurt's inner thigh even if he wanted to. Besides, he knew how ticklish Kurt was there, and what beautiful sounds he made when he was being kissed there.
Saying goodbye to Burt was hard. Blaine tried not to cry, but there were tears in the corner of his eyes when Burt hugged him goodbye. He dried them before anyone could see them. Burt was everything Blaine dreamed a father would be growing up. Kurt held his hand the entire ride to the airport and on the plane home. They didn't talk about it, but Kurt knew where Blaine's melancholy was coming from and that was enough for Blaine.
Blaine wanted to do something special for Valentine's Day. Picnics were kind of their thing, but the February weather promised nothing but rain. Still he wanted to make a special picnic for Kurt.
Blaine proceeded to bribe his roommate to stay away from their room, but he only laughed, told Blaine to keep his money because he was planning to spend the night with his girlfriend. He promised not to return until the next day.
Blaine couldn't cook, not the way Kurt could. Instead, he spent a greater part of the afternoon at his favorite deli, tasting and carefully selecting food he thought Kurt would like.
Back in his room, he lit as many candles as he could find, placed a blanket on the floor in the middle of the room, showered, put on the same bowtie as on their first picnic together, and waited for Kurt to arrive.
When he opened the door for Kurt, he was met by a sea of sunflowers. His favorites. He liked them a million times better than red roses. And Kurt knew that.
"Sunflowers for my sunshine," Kurt said.
There was a note with the flowers that read:
So there's this boy I know
And the way he laughs makes me smile
And the way he talks gives me butterflies
And everything about him makes me happy
Blaine threw himself in Kurt's arms, almost knocking him to the floor.
Kurt chuckled at first, but then he went silent.
"What have you done, Blaine?"
Blaine smiled into Kurt's neck. Kurt had noticed the candles.
"Wow... this is... it's beautiful, Blaine."
"Come," Blaine said and led Kurt by the hand to the center of the room, and sat him down on the blanket. "Wait here a second."
Blaine hurried to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers. When he returned, Kurt was still sitting in awe on the floor.
"How many candles did you light?" Kurt asked.
Blaine put the vase on the floor, all other spaces occupied by candles, and sat down next to Kurt.
"Not enough," Blaine teased. "There might still be some free space over by the window."
"You're just too adorable for words," Kurt said. "I love it. I love you." Kurt leant in and placed a kiss on Blaine's cheek.
"I love you. And the flowers," Blaine answered and gave Kurt a proper kiss. A kiss on the cheek wouldn't do on Valentine's Day.
"I can't believe you did all this. It's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."
That statement raised a question in Blaine. He knew he shouldn't care, that it wasn't important, but the question was there and he knew it would keep poking for attention if he didn't ask it.
"How many boyfriends have you had?" Blaine asked. The question was there at Christmas too, when Burt told him Kurt had never brought someone home. He ignored it then.
"You really want to talk about past boyfriends on Valentine's Day?" Kurt asked, his voice skeptical.
"No, you're right," Blaine said, but he couldn't help but wonder if it had been that many.
"Three," Kurt said next as if he could read Blaine's mind. "My first was in high school. It was sweet and innocent, but we were both shy and inexperienced. The second was my second year here. It was short and intense. And totally lacked all the romance I wanted."
Blaine wondered if Kurt had had more guys like that. Not boyfriends, but guys he'd had brief encounters with. He seemed so experienced, so confident when it came to those aspects of their relationship. Maybe it was that third guy who Kurt hadn't mentioned yet.
"And the third?" Blaine asked.
"For a long time I thought he was the love of my life," Kurt said and Blaine felt his heart sink. Kurt had been with someone he thought was the one. What did that make him to Kurt? Rebound?
"What happened?" Blaine dared to ask even though he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.
"Now I know he's the love of my life."
Blaine was confused.
"It's you, Blaine," Kurt clarified and chuckled before he drew Blaine in to kiss away the confusion.
Blaine was filled with emotions, couldn't really control them and before he knew how, he had Kurt pinned to the floor. His body pressed against Kurt's, kissing him senseless, forgetting all about food and romantic picnics.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," Blaine said, his voice hoarse from all the emotions he was feeling. "You're my first boyfriend, and I want you to be my last too. You're everything I've ever dreamt of, and ten times more."
Kurt smiled and kissed him back. Then a little worried, "Don't you want to experience more? You're still young, maybe there's someone else that is a better match for you."
Blaine didn't like it when Kurt talked like that. He propped himself up on bended arms on Kurt's chest. "You're it for me, Kurt. I don't want anyone else."
Kurt seemed a little shy and insecure, it wasn't something Blaine had noticed before. It made him love Kurt even more.
"You believe me when I say it, right? I might be young and inexperienced, but I know what I want. I know what true love feels like. It's this. This feeling I feel when I'm with you."
"Blaine..." Kurt sighed in awe. "Whatever did I do to deserve you?"
"I've been asking myself that same question," Blaine said. "I mean, about me deserving you," he quickly added when he heard how that sounded.
Kurt chuckled and Blaine could practically hear him think too adorable.
"Is there any food that comes with this picnic?" Kurt asked after more kisses.
"Oh shit!" Blaine said but quickly put his hands over his mouth. Blaine never spoke like that but he had completely forgotten about the food.
By the end of semester everything was super crazy hectic and Blaine hardly got to spend any time with Kurt. He knew the reasons, knew that Kurt was graduating, but that didn't stop him from missing Kurt like crazy. He wanted life to be like those first months when they spent practically all of their time together.
Blaine was busy too, exams and essays filling his days, so it wasn't that he was sitting around waiting for Kurt. But still he couldn't help but feel set aside. He knew he shouldn't feel like that. He knew Kurt had to work hard to get the grades he wanted. It would be over in a couple of months and then things would go back to normal.
He didn't mention it to Kurt. He took the time with him that he could get, did his best to make Kurt feel relaxed when they were together.
One night in Kurt's room, when it was after midnight and Kurt thought that Blaine was sleeping, Kurt sneaked out of bed to return to his books. Blaine watched him from bed and was just about to tell him to come back and sleep when he heard Kurt mutter to himself.
"I can't wait to be finished with this and move out of here."
Something struck him then, and he wondered why it hadn't dawned on him earlier. After graduation Kurt wouldn't have a reason to stay on campus. An unsettled feeling moved into his body that night. Kurt was leaving. Where did that leave Blaine?
Even after Kurt came back to bed, Blaine couldn't fall asleep. He was up all night wondering why Kurt hadn't mentioned where he would go after graduation or what would happen to them. It was still months away, but surely Kurt must have figured out what he was going to do next. Things wouldn't go back to normal after graduation, that was suddenly clear to Blaine.
The next couple of weeks he waited for Kurt to bring it up in conversation. He never did. One sleepless night, Blaine decided to bring it up himself. He couldn't live longer without knowing what was going to happen to them.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked one warm early May evening when they were lying on a blanket on a field of grass on campus grounds, the last lingering rays of sun reflecting in Kurt's eyes.
"Yes, sunshine?"
They laid next to each other on their stomachs, propped up on their elbows. Now Kurt had shifted to his side and was looking directly at Blaine, like he could hear from the tone in Blaine's voice that this was important.
"What are your plans for after graduation? We never really talked about that."
"You know I will be assisting my professor in one of the summer classes, I told you. Didn't I?"
Kurt had. But that's not what Blaine meant.
"After that," Blaine said. "What are you going to do? Where are you going to stay? I mean, you can't stay on campus much longer."
Blaine wanted to ask what about us, but he didn't dare. He was afraid of the answer.
"Well..." Kurt started, worried smile on his lips. "I didn't want to say anything because nothing's really settled yet."
Kurt paused. Blaine braced himself.
"I've been talking to one of my professors, and if everything turns out the way I want it to, I'll be a TA next year."
Kurt smiled. Blaine frowned. TA? That's not what Kurt wanted to do.
"But I thought you wanted to work at an interior design company until you had enough money to start your own."
"I do and I will. Later," Kurt said.
"Why later? Why not now?" Blaine asked. He was sure Kurt could get a job as an interior designer anywhere.
"I thought that... but maybe I was wrong... I just..." Kurt mumbled, making no sense at all.
"What?" Blaine was confused. "You thought what?"
"I thought maybe you wanted me around..." Kurt took a deep breath. "I don't want to be away from you, Blaine."
Kurt was staying for him. Kurt was putting his future on hold for him. Blaine couldn't wrap his mind around it. But Blaine couldn't be the one holding Kurt back, no matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't be that selfish.
"You can't stay because of me," Blaine said.
"I'm staying because I want to. I can't imagine living anywhere you are not, Blaine. Besides working as a TA is something I've wanted to do, I've just been focusing on other things this year."
It was a lot to take in. Kurt was staying. Partly because of him, because he didn't want to be away from him. But Kurt was doing something he wanted to do. Blaine wasn't holding him back. Blaine was beyond happy. He'd get to be near Kurt for another year.
"Don't you want me around anymore?" An uncertain Kurt asked. There was a worried wrinkle between his eyes.
Blaine hadn't said anything, lost in his own happy thoughts and now Kurt was doubting him. That he couldn't have.
Blaine rolled on top of Kurt on the blanket and peppered him with kisses. "I want you around forever, I thought we had established that."
"I want that, too," Kurt said, worry gone. "I want to be around you forever."
They kissed for an eternity, not caring if any one saw them. It was getting dark, shadows were becoming longer, people were leaving the park, but there were still people around that could see them. But to Blaine the world had faded away to something dull in the background, all his attention, all his senses, were focused on the beautiful man lying beneath him.
"I've been looking at apartments in the city, and there's one I really like," Kurt said when kissing wasn't a necessity anymore. "It has large windows facing the park with the beautiful pink Magnolia and Japanese cherry trees. Have you seen those?"
Blaine nodded. There were numerous of them in the park, and now in May they were in full bloom. He could imagine how beautiful that view must be.
"It has a nice kitchen and it's not too big. I think I'm going to take that one."
"Is there room for a roommate?" Blaine asked, not knowing where he got the courage to ask. Kurt made him brave, and the thought of living together with Kurt was just exhilarating.
Kurt closed his eyes and bit his lips. Blaine worried that he had asked for too much. Maybe Kurt wanted to continue to live on his own and only have Blaine over a couple of nights a week. It wasn't a bad setup, Blaine could live with that. Although now that the thought had entered his head, he kind of felt disappointed.
But then a smile started to spread across Kurt's lips. "Blaine..." Kurt said, shook his head and laughed a little.
"What?" Blaine asked, wondering what Kurt found so amusing.
"I was going to ask you when everything was more settled," Kurt said. "I wanted to do something special for our eight month anniversary. I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Oh God, I'm sorry, Kurt..." Blaine said, feeling bad for ruining Kurt's surprise. But at the same time, Kurt was going to ask him to move in. Kurt wanted to live with him! Blaine thought he might be the happiest person awake tonight.
Kurt only laughed, causing Blaine to bounce on top of him.
"Is that a yes then?" Blaine asked. Just to make sure.
"Yes, sunshine, there is room for a roommate," Kurt said and kissed Blaine, although it was hard to kiss when there were two of them smiling like idiots.
Then Kurt became serious. "Are you sure you don't want to continue to live in the dorms? You seem to enjoy living there."
"Kurt. Are you crazy? I like the dorms, you're right about that. I like my roommate, he's really cool, but living with you... How can you think I'd prefer living in the dorms to living with you?"
"I don't know... you're still young, you still have several years left and if you live with me, you wouldn't be on campus anymore, and there'll be so much you'll miss out on."
"The city isn't that far away, Kurt. I can still be a part of campus life," Blaine said. "Besides I'm not that young, you have to stop thinking like that. I love you, Kurt. I want to spend as much time with you as possible and living with you would be a dream."
"God, I love you so much, Blaine."
Blaine smiled. Hearing Kurt say those words always did that to him. "You have to learn to trust me when I say I want to be with you forever. Because I mean it, and I don't want you to doubt that."
"I know. It's just my love for you is so strong it scares me sometimes and I'm scared I'll make a mistake and screw up."
Blaine didn't like it when Kurt doubted himself, but he understood his feelings. He used to feel like that too. Now though, he just felt an enormous trust in Kurt and in their feelings for each other.
"I don't think there is anything you can do to screw this up," Blaine said and gave Kurt a peck on his nose.
"I can make a call if you want to see the apartment," Kurt said and picked up his phone from beside him on the blanket.
"Now? It's almost nine, Kurt."
"So?" Kurt said as if the time of night made no difference.
Maybe it didn't. Blaine decided not to worry about it. If Kurt didn't think the time was an issue, neither would Blaine.
"I would love to!" Blaine was excited. For the first time in weeks he felt excited. He didn't feel set aside, though he knew he never was - it was only in his head. He loved Kurt and they were going to live together. Actually share their lives together.
"We're really doing this," Kurt said after he had made the call and arranged a meeting 30 minutes later. "Living together." He sounded like he couldn't believe it but still he wore the biggest smile.
"I can't wait for all the late night cuddles," Blaine said.
"And all the morning cuddles," Kurt countered.
"And everything in between," Blaine added with a knowing smile.
"God, you're so adorable." Kurt pulled Blaine close and kissed him.
They kissed until they had to leave. Blaine had butterflies in his belly all the way to the apartment, excitement about seeing his future home rose high in his chest and he held on tight to Kurt's hand all the way there.
The apartment was more amazing than Kurt had described it to him. Yes, it was small and it only had one bedroom that barely fitted a full size bed, but it wasn't like they needed more space than that. And the view... Blaine fell in love with the view of the pink trees from the large windows in the living room.
"When are we moving in?" Blaine turned his eyes away from the view and smiled at Kurt.
"Not soon enough," was Kurt's reply. He wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist, sighed blissfully as his eyes turned shiny. "I can't believe I'm going to live with the most beautiful man in the world."the end
************************************
hope you enjoyed it. Its a very long one shot😅 anyways goodbye*melissa
(10054words)
YOU ARE READING
Worlds most beautiful man (a klaine one shot)
FanfictionA one shot of blaines experience with the worlds most beautiful man.