the Kiraverse™️

the ninth message

My succulent honeyloaf,

I have done things. Vivacious things. Dangerous things. Risky things. Sexual things. All things I would either never or always have done.

I started off the week regressing into a severe cocaine dispute with myself and also myself, arguing, and then submitting into six lines. During my high, I had not only committed tax fraud, but also grand larceny, realizing this when I had found the deed to sixteen platinum mines in my back pocket. I have no clue where I have procured these items, but it was in my best criminal interest to keep them. They formerly belonged to a certain Prudence P. Fae, a name I knew to avoid. But I couldn't have her in existence while I had just permanently loaned myself her mines. It had been so long since my last kill. I apologize, darling, but this could not be stopped. I immediately packed a bag, and took the last train outbound to the local seaport. I held a gun to a seaman's head until we were off to the coast of Miami. Do not ask where I had gotten the gun from.

So, this Prudence lady, she's a wealthy one. I'm Yoshikage Kira, serial killer, stand user, lover. Well. I can eliminate the lover part. I've never been a lover and I've never had one. So what if I'd like to fall asleep in someone's arms just one night? Maybe yours? That doesn't define me, does it?? I hate having needs other than daily meals and showering. But, back to Prudence. I have no shame in claiming her hands, if for but a moment, as well as her life savings and fortune. We could indulge in such luxuries... I could treat you to so much more than I have. Burglary phases me little. If needed, I will conduct another public masturbation overture in emergency situations.

I plan this out on the ocean liner I am currently on. I'm not sure if it was the expired Advil I took before the trip, but the captain's looking very sexy to my eyes. I'm debating whether to seduce the fine gentleman, or to wait even longer for a meaningful moment. I can confidently say I doubt I will ever have any.

Oh, the things I have done and the places I've been. I need to get away to somewhere else, I need a change of scenery. But I do treasure Morioh as a place of comfort and familiarity. You know how I despise everything other than my routine.

I'm quite far from my destination, and I seldom wait in vain and boredom. I intend to get seriously drunk and have wild, drunken sex with the first mate. As I write to you, I am opening a bottle of Hennessy and using my JcPenny gift card to crush up fresh cocaine. Tonight will be lovely. It would be even more sexier with you there. When we do share our moment, my love, I demand your stand be present. Killer Queen will be. And with such a cat-like tongue, well. Who knows where you might want him to put it ;)

We hope to reach the port in two days. With such an adventure and hostage situation under my belt, I miss the days when waking up in a cold sweat, covered in my own piss on the lounge couch was my only problem. All I can tell you is that when I get back, safe and sound to Morioh, I plan on getting so fucking drunk and having such incredible kinky sex on that couch to commemorate my life returning to what it was. I hope they have enough bondage material- I might snap some of it in my intensity.

Ah, well. I have poured the Hennessy, and I am awaiting the request of the crack by the first mate. His name is supposedly, "Gappy." He appears to be quite the homosexual, and also, a virgin. What a fun thing to touch, if I must say. If I may beg your pardon, call me Christopher Columbus, because I am about to explore some new, virgin lands.

In Correspondence,
Yoshikage Kira.