As I Fell ✓

Chapter 32

Athena

I am so fucked.

After an awkward run home without Owen, I quickly sent a text to Tim and Viv, asking them nicely if they can come over to my place as soon as they can. I can't ask Calix if he can come because one, I think he's still working, and two, he's friends with the guy I just ran away from. Literally.

I think this is the fastest I've ran since I was taught how to walk. I didn't even think it took more than ten minutes to run all the way from the park to my house. My doctors would be proud of me if they knew I went from not being allowed to partake in gym class because of my recent injury, to being able to run at possibly the speed of light.

The moment I arrived at home, I immediately took my shoes off, said a quick hello to Maxie who was minding her own business watching a bird off our window, and ran all the way up to my room. I laid down on my bed, feeling the heaviness of how I was feeling at the moment, and checked my phone. Thankfully, both Tim and Viv were on their way.

I don't think I've been this stressed, even over school. Wait, no. I don't think I've been this stressed in my life. To think that I've been acting like this over a person is so weird. I hate it. I hate myself.

Why did I do that?

I couldn't help but check my phone over and over again for updates on Tim and Viv since they were taking too long for my standards. I eventually stood up, changed into more comfortable clothes, and paced back and forth in my room, still holding onto my phone like a maniac.

Checking my phone every thirty seconds was normal. Waiting for it to vibrate to a notification from either Tim or Viv was normal. Imagine just how hard I threw my phone to the side of my bed when my phone did vibrate to a notification.

But it wasn't from Tim or Viv. It was from Owen.

I kid you not I screamed as I received the notification, and I was too stressed to even get to read what it was all about.

I was hopeless. I didn't know why I did what I did and said what I said.

I laid back in bed, staring up at my ceiling.

This is the worse.

Of all the times I could've said something decent, I told Owen something so important yet I don't have a clue whether he understood or not. He has a tendency to clarify some stuff tons of times before he finally gets something. I found it kinda adorable.

I wasn't even sure if I want him to know. Can't I just appreciate someone without slipping anything?

The time when Owen got sick and we actually talked, I was worried I would recognize my feelings, and I did. Feelings that I have long tried to hold off because I was friends with him. Feelings that I had always known were there but I have just been in denial.

This is so weird.

I don't even know what to say and I'm just talking to myself.

I know for a fact that I'm not delusional because in the first place, why? And second of all, maybe I am overthinking this. Maybe I do not have a crush on Owen and I am just romanticizing whatever stuff we shared. It's all just a big blob of maybes.

All this thinking got my head hurting. I groaned in bed as I picked up a pillow and kept hitting myself on the head with it. Maybe this will make me sane.

I'm so screwed.

Not long after my session of crippling self-hate, the doorbell rang and I forcibly went out of my room to get the door. Unsurprisingly, as I answered it, Tim and Viv were there and they even had Delta's milkshakes to go. I don't deserve friends who knew what I needed whenever I do.