Happiness

My story:

People always get mad at me cause I tell them about my past

What they don't understand is that if I ever tell them about my past

I don't want them to feel sorry for me

I want them to know why I am the way I am

How I got messed up.

Also people should know something else about me

When I am silent

I am either waiting for something to be over,don't have anything to talk about, overthinking or over analyzing a situation,upset or worried, falling apart, or all of the above.

It hurts when you go through something that kills you inside

But you have to act like nothing is wrong,

And it doesn't affect you at, alI think I may be a strong person

However, do you know what makes me cry?

It is when I try my hardest and best,

And I still feel so useless.

Have you ever watched your whole life fall apart

And all you can do is stare blankly in space?

Sometimes, when I say, "I'm okay",

I just want someone to look me in the eyes and hug me tight

And say "No you're not"

No one notices your tears

No one notices your sadness

No one notices your pain

But they all notice your mistakes

I am the type of person who will go in the bathroom and cry for hours

Then walk out like nothing even happened

I need a break from my own thoughts.

I still don't get it

You said I am important to you,

But you still make me feel like I'm not worth your time

Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me

Stupid me,

Thinking I was good enough

My anxiety is silent.

You wouldn't even notice a change on the outside,

But I'm honestly so stressed I can't even handle simple tasks

People may call me lazy,

But I'm just really overwhelmed

It really freaking amazes me that nobody has realized how sad I am

I guess the fake laughs and smiles really do work

I am the type of person that will have dozens of tears coming down,

But still when anyone asks I will ALWAYS say ,"I'm fine"