***TRIGGER WARNING***
*SELF HARM
*Mental illness
***READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION***
Pretty red ribbons run around my wrist
Pretty red ribbons flutter in my hair
But they are not the same
I made both of the pretty red ribbons
But one is not like the other
Some of the ribbons are hot like fire
Stinging as tears prick my eyes
These pretty red ribbons are made of pain
But the others are delicate and calm
Contrasting my auburn hair and jade eyes
These pretty red ribbons are made of silk
Both are beautiful to me
I close my eyes and lay in bed
The pretty red ribbons still fresh and stinging
I run my fingers up and down my wrist
Gaining a sadistic satisfaction with each knot
I feel beautiful now
I feel in control now
I can't wait to tie more ribbons
I just need to be patient
Wait until the darkest corners of the night
Knowing no one will find me
I feel my winter lover melt into me
I embrace the numbing cold
I'm glad I can wear long sleeves without notice
Why do I feel like this
Like I'm not enough
Like I need more pain to be valid
Like I need to be the most messed up person in every room I step foot in
Like I need to keep pushing too far until I prove I'm not faking it
Why would I fake such a horrible thing
For attention
I tie another pretty red ribbon
I tell myself it'll be the last
I said that last night
So I tie another
A long one
I feel the silk burn me
But I love them nonetheless
I love the way they make me feel alive
I love feeling beautiful like this
