Colour Her (Flowers and Keyboards 3) {Girl x Girl} (✔ Complete)

Chapter 29 - Amber

Sponsorships = Sometimes companies will 'sponsor' one or more videos. This means that the person making the video will get money or other perks from the company in exchange for being mentioned in a positive way in the video, or even promoting a specific product. This can be a really good thing, or can go horribly wrong if the company or product turns out to be bad.

I wish Mya would have asked me to come with her to have sushi, instead of bringing it over to me. I don't want her to baby me, but I also don't want her to split me off from what we're doing here, the event we're at. I want her to do her own thing, but I also want her to at least invite me when she's off doing things, instead of assuming that I won't like it.

"I would have liked to have sushi with all of you together." I force my words out. Of course, I knew they were having sushi as Izzy posted about it on her social media already, showing a big table full of food they were about to dig into.

"I came over here as soon as I had the food, so we could have it together. I wanted to share it with you." Mya's voice is soft, her arms around me tightening.

"I wish you would have asked me. We could have come over, so we'd all be together instead of us being cut off from the rest." My voice starts to give out and I've lost any interest in food, or even staying here.

I don't want to feel like this, I hate it, I hate feeling like this.

I thought I wouldn't feel like this with Mya around, lost, sad, like I'm broken, and she's managed to not make me feel like I'm weird the whole time we've been together. But I guess that even people who try their best to be good, to be thoughtful, do things like this.

They assume things instead of asking. They think that they already know the answer before they've even asked the question.

"I..." I break out of Mya's embrace, standing up and looking at her. "I'm going outside." The last word almost doesn't come from my lips and tears stream down my cheeks. I just need a moment to myself, let me get back to myself before I blow up at her or before I say things that will only hurt her, or me.

"I'll come with you." Mya also stands up but I shake my head.

Then I turn around and try to find the nearest exit. I just need a little quiet, I just need some time to myself.

As I step out of the doors of the event building, the whole area in front of the building is packed with people, but it's also really cold. It's so cold out here.

I take a turn, going in the direction that I know Luuk's aunt's place is, and only stop walking as soon as things finally quiet down around me. I find the edge of a big planter, filled with flowers that have started to wither from the cold, and sit down on it, wrapping my arms around myself, my tears still not stopping no matter how much I want them to.

Everything is too much, too loud, too busy, and now it's even worse because I don't even feel like Mya understands me, not enough, no matter how much I try.

I just want people to ask me things, to not shut me out before I even have a chance to think for myself, just shut out before I even get a chance.

Story of my life. 'Amber is autistic, that means she won't like that. Don't even bother asking her, no autistics like that.'

It's so simple. Just ask. But people try to 'protect' me, or try to make me 'not feel left out' at a party by not inviting me in the first place, because they think I'll probably not enjoy it when it'll be busy/loud/filled with people I don't know, on account of my autism.

Just ask...

***

'Where are you?' A message, not from Mya but from Izzy. 'I found such a cute plushie and I think you'll love it. Take a look!' The image attached to her second message is from a plushie from some creepy monster in StarCraft, but it's all out of proportions and looks really cute instead. I don't play the game, but I've seen Izzy and the others share enough pictures of it to recognise it.