Forever Fallen

Chapter One

One year ago...

She was happy. For the first time in her life, she was happy and free and he was about to ruin it by saying no. She frowned at him again and his handsome face, again, had no written all over it. She couldn’t understand why he would say no to her offer, it wasn’t like he had anything to lose. Well, apart from his sanity, or even his life. She could see how that part of the equation might be a bit intimidating. But still, she thought that the end goal, the ultimate destination would be enough to surpass all doubts, she herself had jumped at the chance when she was younger, why couldn’t he?

Knowing that he wasn’t going to change his mind without a little persuasion, she leaned into him and allowed her breath to linger just over his lips but not quite touching. He shivered and she allowed herself a secret smile of satisfaction. His lips in return parted, just a bit, and she thought that he was going to cave. She was just leaning in that little bit further when he shook his head as if to clear it of fog and he stepped back.

A spike of pain and longing shot through her heart. She wasn’t used to being rejected and this boy was special. This was the boy who she loved and who loved her in return. But now she started thinking that love didn’t exactly matter when faced with life changing decisions like whether to become an angel or not. If he agreed, they could spend the rest of eternity together. If he said no…well se didn’t even want to go there yet.

Again, she tried to bring him to her but he kept running away, away from her, away from his future, her future and away from them. He didn’t want to be one of them. An angel, he didn’t want to be an angel when she had practically begged Him to make her one. One doesn’t usually come away from the Lord unscathed but she came away as an angel. He would too if he would just let her.

“Why do you have to make this so difficult?” she screamed at him.

With a snap, her wings flew free and she glided in front of him, turning to gaze at him imploringly. His eyes stared vacantly at her wings. He hadn’t seen them before this night and he hadn’t known about her until that night either. He was horrified. She gulped down tears she hadn’t known she had been holding back. He truly didn’t want to be with her or be one of them. He truly was disgusted by what she was. And he would never understand or even begin to understand.

She reached for him but he backed away from her, the look on his face clearer than words could ever be. Her hand snapped back, his rejection a numbing pain spreading through her body. Her human emotions fled leaving behind only a cold shell behind. Everything that distinguished her as a half-human, half-angel, fled. She had experienced all the feelings she could. Happiness, joy, sadness, sorrow, anger, hate, bitterness, grief, greed and heartbreak. Now she didn’t feel anything. No, there was something there. Something burning and strangely warming. She dug deeper and hit a wall of impenetrable emotion. A wicked smile spread across her face. Revenge. She still had revenge left to feel. Now she felt it.

Her eyes opened slowly, brighter but duller than they had been before. When she turned her gaze on him, he seemed to notice something was different. He looked into her eyes and screamed. He screamed like a girl and she wondered how she had ever fallen in love with him. Maybe I didn’t, she thought, maybe it was just him pretending and me so desperate to fall in love with someone that he was just there to ‘comfort’ me. She laughed. A genuinely hollow laugh. Foolish girl!

With that last thought, she leapt at him, the fire of Heaven lighting her eyes. He screamed again but this time nothing came out. His mouth opened and closed again and again, panic clouding his eyes. Her fingernails sank into his shoulders and she began tearing at his flesh. His gaping hole of a mouth finally let out a sound. A high pitched noise vibrated into the empty night. His eyes were misting over, the light in them fading.

Realisation of what she was doing hit hard and painful. She scrambled off of him, alarm at what she’d done consuming her in waves. She didn’t know what had come over her. Those light blue eyes that only an hour ago had looked at her with love now looked at her with horror. No not horror. Terror. He was terrified of her. Her guilt ate at her even as she commanded him to drift into unconsciousness and she carried him to the nearest hospital. His wounds were great, the fresh scent of blood clogging her nose and all her senses. His blood seeped through her dress underneath to her angelic, glowing skin. That pale, almost translucent, flawless skin that she used to love so much now seemed like the ugliest rags in the world. It reminded her of who she was, of what she was. The wind, as if sensing that this was the perfect time to stir up trouble, chose that moment to flow gently past her face.

Silky strands of blonde hair wafted into her face and she was reminded of when they used to be chestnut locks. Fully becoming an angel had made her skin paler and her hair a few shades lighter. She cursed herself for losing control and hurting the one person she had ever loved. Out there, in the dead of night, there was no one. No one to see what she had just done, no one to scream at her, no one to make accusations and no one to whisper behind her back and call her a freak. No one at all.

And he was going to die because of it.