Spring Flower (A Seventeen Fanfiction)

Chapter Eight: Smile Flower

Soon Young waited for the all-clear from the staff before guiding me onto the dark and empty stage. I falter for a moment as we step out and onto the expanse that, less than an hour ago, was full of the love Seventeen has for their Carats. The fading heat from the stage lights still lingers in the air, along with the feeling of ecstasy the fans left behind.

"Wow," I say as he leads us to the edge of the stage. I sit down next to him, my hand trailing across the smooth black wood of the transportable stage. "So this is what it feels like to be in front of thousands of people, huh?"

My eyes scan the rows upon rows of empty seats, the lights over them flaring on as the stage crew begins scurrying about, clearing the chairs and barriers of the floor area. To imagine thousands of peoples' eyes resting on you as they watch for the smallest mistake in your performance. As you stand on this stage and listen to people who don't even speak the same language as you sing their hearts out. Goosebumps run along my limbs, a reminder of the miracle of a concert I had just experienced myself.

Soon Young laughs, shaking his damp hair around as flush rises in his cheeks. "There's no better feeling than performing in front of a crowd of thousands of excited fans. No matter where we are in the world, we always feel the love of Carats and that is something I will be forever grateful for."

I shift my weight, resting back in my hands behind me. I think I understand now why so many people are in love with this magnetic k-pop group. All of these men are unfairly attractive, deeply talented in their singing and dancing abilities, and it's clear that they adore their fans as much as their fans adore them. Although I wouldn't consider myself to be a Carat at this point, I can deeply appreciate the pure joy they shared with their fans. There is no doubt in my mind that Soon Young was meant to be a k-pop idol.

But, I can't help but feel jealous about that truth. To imagine knowing exactly what I am meant to be and do in my life—to have that certainty, to know my own path... That's all I've ever wanted. And maybe, just maybe, it's time that I chase after it.

Soon Young bumps his shoulder into mine as he takes a swing from his water bottle. I glance at him, trying not to stare as his Adam's apple bobs with the swallowing motion. "What are you thinking about?"

My teeth worry at my lower lip.

"Be honest, Zara. What are you thinking about? You have your thinking face on and after spending two days in a car with you, I know that means you're worrying about something."

Warmth blossoms in my chest. At the start of all this mayhem, I wouldn't have pegged Soon Young as being the observant, calm type. And, yet, here we are. It was amazing how Soon Young, in many ways, seems to know me better than I know myself.

"I'm jealous of you," I blurt out, the need to talk to someone outweighs my reservations about keeping things private and to myself.

I lightly push against Soon Young's chest as a satisfied smirk graces his lips. "Jealous of me? Why?"

I wave my hands around, motioning to the space around us. "Besides being able to look forward to this as your job? To have the confidence in knowing what you wanted to do and pursuing that dream. To still be confident in yourself and all of the love that Seventeen has to share with the world. To be confident in who you are." I lean forward, setting my hands in my lap and twisting them around nervously. "I don't know who I am or what I'm supposed to do with my life."

"Hey," he said softly, grabbing one of my hands and pulling it into his own lap. "Don't do that. Don't doubt yourself. What was it that you told me a few hours ago, that not enough people say 'yes'?"

""I want to be a 'yes' person when I can.'" I quote softly.

Soon Young squeezes my hand, his thumb swiping across the back of it, leaving a warm wake in its absence. "Then stop hesitating and do that. Say 'yes' more often. Don't hold yourself back."