As I awoke brilliant streaks of light pierced my body and soul. Beams of white, purple, pink, and red filled my irises. These photons had sensations of warmth and melancholy wrapped into one.
There was no feeling of peace or calm. I was in a descent. The speed at which I fell was possibly the fastest I'd ever moved in my entire life. I agonized at the thought of death, the thought of landing and breaking bones.
I pictured many scenarios. All of them were visceral and gory. I imagined exploding upon contact with the ground or surviving but being unable to move. A realist, I even wondered if it would be better to land head first and die instantly or land feet first and possibly starve to death in agonizing pain.
I gazed down. Was there even a bottom in the first place. I couldn't see one. How long had I been falling? At this speed and for this amount of time I should have landed by now. I should have collided by now.
I was always like this. A realist. A practical thinker with no imagination. Even in this moment I feel as though I'm little more than a robot with pragmatic expectations. Not being able to remember the past two days was no excuse for how emotionless I was being at the moment.
But it's not like I had power over this situation right?
What could I do? Me, Tamika Livingston. I'm just a regular person. I don't have the ability to fly or control gravity. Oh how I wished for powers like that as a child. I found out though all that I'm good at is accepting things. Even this.
"Tamika!" A voice echoed in the distance. I recognized it. It was Mitchell. I could hear him.
"Mitchell!" I screamed. And suddenly a hand burst through the light and pulled me towards it.
I felt as though I would rip his arms out of their sockets but he gently pulled me from my descent onto solid ground. I stepped onto a grassy field. My legs were weak with relief and fear.
I gazed around and saw stars and a glowing bright white moon. There were no clouds. The sky was as purplish red as your brightest sunset. Behind Mitchell there was a forest and behind me an ocean. What had I been pulled from?
"Where are we?" I asked.
Mitchell smiled mysteriously, "Follow me."
I followed and we walked along the grassy pasture of land until we found a house. The house was like the one I'd grown up in when I was a child. He hurried to the window and waved for me to follow him. I did and we peeked inside the window.
There I was, age seven, playing inside my room by myself. I had an easy bake oven and a baby doll in front of me. I was baking cakes for my baby doll.
"I remember doing that as a child. I think." I said aloud. "That's me?"
Mitchell nodded. He shushed me.
The door to my bedroom opened and my father came inside. He picked me up and carried me through the house. He was heading for his car and then he broke down into tears.
"I'm sorry babygirl. I love you so much, but I won't be there for you when you grow older."
"Why Daddy?" I asked.
"Because I'm dying sweetheart. I'm dying. And I won't be able to see your smile as you grow up into a beautiful young woman. I'm so sorry baby."
"What are you doing Victor!?" Said my mom. "You're scaring her you coward! Why can't you face this like a man!"
She snatched me from my fathers arms and she walked towards the house. My arms stretched out trying to grab his hand but I couldn't reach them no matter what I did. He fell to his knees silently giving up. Weeping alone.
