Let go

The first "true love"

Finally today is here! I'm finally sixteen only two more years until I can move out and make my own rules, oh and I get to drive today, watch out world here I come! My father is taking me to Las Vegas for my sweet sixteen, it's going to be great. I hope this year is fantastic, it can't get much worse then last year.
Last year my boyfriend and I after three years broke up, I understand I'm young but I know and still know I will love that boy forever. He was one of my childhood best friends, so it all just seemed perfect. He claims "you can love someone but don't have to be with him" does that even make sense?! I didn't think so. My parents are happy he is gone... They thought he was a little sketchy and shy, but it's just because they didn't know him like I did. We're all still friends so I am sure we will get back together, that's my one prayer, that God reunites me again with my love. He was my first everything, he's got to want me back.
We've been broken up about two or three months now, and he hangs out with this one girl whom I promise you has been out to get me since the fifth grade. I like to just pretend everything is okay , but between you and I, it is not okay. I am just a few months older than him so I get to drive first. His best friend lives next door to me so whenever I see his bike there I am going to do my best to drive by so that he can see me and miss me.
At least he did send me a "Happy bday" text.

As time went on him and I still hung around the same friends, and always had a thing for each other and talk of getting back together. We broke up freshman year and talked all the way until junior year. I had a few crushes and flings along the way but none of them meant as much, nor would they ever. Everything was fine until one of his best friends told me he loved me and my life took a turn for the worst. This boy was a hot shot, he basically lived on his own and held parties all the time. I was so over the ups and downs with my "true love" and thought his best friend isn't too bad and this could be fun, so I decided to date him. Things got so much better, although my "true love" was mad at both so us for a while, we didn't care. We hung out all the time, had sleepovers with friends, went camping and shared so many laughs. He held parties at his house and I was the hot girlfriend he loved to show off, however after two or so months of this , I realized I was becoming someone I didn't want to be. When I looked at pictures from just six months ago I wasn't me anymore. I decided I had to break up with him...but he wouldn't let me...he would pull me back and asked me to do things with him. I want having it I wanted to get out,and this behavior began to freak me out.

Senior year had rolled around and I had started talking to a different boy, after a little time of cooling off from my frantic ex. As soon as my ex found out I was talking to someone else, I got a text that said "I know where you live" I was legitimately scared of this boy at this point, knowing he could be drunk and make a vulgar act by driving to my house and harassing me, I had no idea if I'd ever get the chance to sleep.