I'm Too Lost For You

Chapter 1 "Chasing You"

So I'm Zachary and I got a situation...

It all started when my best friend walked up to me and told me that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. When he said that my heart broke and I couldn't understand what was going on, so I lurked around him to see if he had any new friends. I had to be stealthy and not let anyone know that I was around. I walked slowly behind him, he didn't notice me but I followed him for 2 hrs and all he was doing was hanging out with his mom and sister. I'm not a fan of stalking but I really wanted to understand why he didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I ran many scenarios as to why he stopped talking to me.

He has a girlfriend and I'm a distraction.
He is just tired of me.
He's moving.
He is going through puberty.

I was scared to go to school the next day, I thought he'd be talking to his new friends about ditching me. I didn't want anyone to feel bad for me or laugh because I'm a loner and I don't have any friends. The only friend I had was Javier and he doesn't even want to be friends. Me and Javier were very close we met and the 3rd grade when I first moved here. I was getting taunted by the class clown and he told the teacher for me, and after that its history. 5th grade me and him were walking home from school and a group of kids started to harass us.

"FAGGOTS!"They yelled as they chased us into the parking lot. Javier just looked at me and covered my ears. I still don't know why he did that, I still could hear them, but I didn't really know what the word "faggot" meant at the time. Javier was there for me and protected me. Javier protected me ever since then. He always appreciated me and looked out for me. During school, most of the bullies would stay away from me and Javier. There are times when Javier didn't come to school and I didn't have any protection. Some of the bullies took advantage of that and knocked all my books down.

"Where's your boyfriend Javier?" They said laughing.

"He's not my boyfriend! Just leave me and him alone!" I said under my breath.

  They pushed me into a locker and continued walking to class. I never walk to class by myself. My hands were sweaty and balled into a fist, in case I have to swing off someone. I'm not the violent type, but I have seen a lot of action movies to show me how to defend myself. Fighting just makes things worst. I got into a fight in the 7th grade with an ex-friend of mine named Dustin. Me and him were close but not as close as Me and Xavier were. One day Dustin walked up to me and punched me in the face. It was unexpected, I feel he only did it for approval from his new friends. I looked up and asked him why he hit me and all he did was apologize. I figured that we wouldn't recover from this so I punched him in the jaw and knocked him out. I didn't mean for him to get knocked unconscious, I guess I punched him too hard. He never talked to me again after that.

   I walked into school, I was really nervous about seeing Javier, but I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me or make me feel bad. I walked down the hallway my palms were sweaty and my heart was beating out of my chest. Me and Javier's locker is right next to each other. I was hoping that he wouldn't be there but it's almost the beginning of class and if I know him well, he'll still be there. I peek around the corner to see if he's there and he is, but he's with someone. He was with Lucy; My ex-girlfriend. I didn't know what to make of the situation. She smiles and caressed his shoulder before leaving. I quickly walk to my locker to confront him.

"Hey! Why were you talking to Lucy?" I asked.

"First, it's none of your business, and second I could've sworn I told I didn't want to talk to you anymore." He exclaimed as she slammed the locker and walked away.

  I watched him as he walked away. I was hoping he'll look back but he didn't. I knew then that it was over. I walked to class and really could not concentrate on my work. I was still in shock about Javier. My science partner' Viv was concerned about me and wanted to know why I was so down.

"What's wrong with you? you seem different." She said as she looks me up and down.

"I'm fine," I said as I try to repress my real emotion.

"What is it? You can tell me, " she conveyed.

"Okay, whatever, my best friend since 3rd grade told me he didn't wanna talk to me anymore and today I saw him with my ex-girlfriend, so at the moment, I'm not fine!" I said as I got up left the classroom.

"Where are you going? We have to finish! Viv yelled.

  I had to take a breather. Letting out all that was a lot because now I know why he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. It's because he's dating my ex. When I came to this realization my heart collapse because deep down I know I have feelings for Javier. I waited at my locker until the period ended to confront him. I waited there 5 mins after the bell rang and he hasn't shown up yet. I proceed to walk around the halls, hoping I'll find him. I walked until I heard the second bell. I rushed to my locker so I can get my homework for my next class. I wondered why he didn't come to his locker. We usually meet there. As I approach my locker I see Javier and Lucy there again, giggling and laughing. I debated if I wanted to confront him. He said some pretty rude stuff to me earlier. I don't wanna make things worst. I casually walked to my locker, put my books away and grabbed my homework not paying him any attention. As I walked away I looked back one last time, and he was looking right back at me.

NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON...