Interlude Of My Twenties

Prolouge

Why is there no limit to human desires? The memories of happiness I have with him are so joyful they make me sad. My dream to see him and feel him are no longer dreams but now delusions. His scent, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his touch, and his love are all memories I can recall. Every moment I spent with him was never wasted. He was warm and loving. He was all I ever needed and yet now he is everything I cannot have.

My memories of him are filled with childhood innocence. Through humid summer days and freezing winter nights, he was there for it all. Memories of him laughing at my stupid jokes and our playful banter all seem ethereal to me now.

I know he is gone and I know I can no longer get him back but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to get rid of the tiny sliver of hope left in my heart. I want to find him because there is so much I need to tell him. But before any words are spoken and before any tears are fallen I want to kiss him. Just with that simple action everything I've ever wanted him to understand, all the questions I've ever had, all the suffering and yearning I've ever had. I know it could all be answered in that one kiss. I could project my feelings and maybe, just maybe he would tell me he loves me one last time. 

The man I am searching for and the man who disappeared from my life is the reason that I know the definition of true love. Kim Namjoon, that name will always have a place in my heart that no other person can replace. He is the reason I am flying back to my hometown and even if all I can achieve are memories for me to relive then I would be content.