Doodle Daisies

insecure // 5

I n s e c u r e         

          British, Lolly thought in dismay. She's freaking British. 

          Lolly pushed open her apartment door, and plopped down on her worn futon. Tears of rejection burned her throat, and made her woozy. She picked up a pillow, pressed her face in it, and screamed. She kicked off her ballet flats and heard them fall on the hard wood floor. 

          "I am not boring." Lolly said to her empty apartment. Well.. maybe sometimes..

          Lolly groaned and started squirming because her clothes felt like they were suffocating her. She forced her mind to not do a replay of her day as she changed out of her clothes. She instantly felt better when she changed into her matching set of rubber ducky pajamas. 

          She warmed up 2 enchiladas in her microwave and dragged her feet to her futon once again. It doubled as her bed, and she shuffled under the covers. She angrily bit into her enchilada, but spit it out when it was too hot. 

          Lolly did anything and everything she could to keep her mind off of him. 

          Her apartment was spotless, she was showered and dry, and her non existent cat was fed. 

          There was nothing more to do but torture herself, so Lolly hesitantly looked at her phone to see if she got any texts. She stopped herself before she could get to it. She didn't even give him her number.. 

          "You don't want his number, Lolly. No, stop!" she muttered to herself. She let out a frustrated sigh, and the humiliation came back like a stone sitting on her stomach. Was she ugly and boring? Nobody has ever called her that before.. 

          She was tired and restless at the same time. Her self loathing continued through the day, and she never left her apartment after that, in fear of accidentally bumping into Chuck. 

        Lolly felt like a fool. She actually thought they were friends, but he was talking behind her back after thirty minutes of knowing her! The nerve of that boy! To make matters worse, she was sitting right next to him when he was doing it in the Cafe.

          Lolly vowed right then never to draw another daisy for as long as she lived..

          Lolly placed another band-aid on her knee. She sighed and leaned back on the bench she was sitting on. 

          She was walking through the park, because being isolated in her apartment was making her stuffy, when she caught sight of blonde hair. Thinking it was Chuck, she stumbled over her feet and fell on the gravel. 

          Again. 

          Now she had four band-aid on each knee, and they had dried blood on them. She stretched her legs when she stood up, and made her way to the local pharmacy conveniently located next to the park. The little ting went off as she walked in, and a pair of small arms wrapped around her. 

          She shrieked and Jake stepped in front of her with his hands up. "Whoa! Didn't mean to scare you." Jake said. Lolly put a hand on her beating heart and willed it to slow down. 

          "Why," gasp, "did." pant "you." heave, "do that?" she got out. 

          "You, dear Lolly, are heaven sent." Jake said matter of fact. Lolly raised an eyebrow and shook her head, laughing slightly. "Funny. Some would say the opposite. I'm kind of boring." 

          A pained groan came from somewhere in the store, and she looked over her shoulder to see nobody there. She and Jake walked together to the band-aid isle while he talked a mile a minute. 

          "So Melody gets to my apartment, and we watch the movie. We're cuddling and stuff, and things are progressing into touching," this is where Lolly starts blushing, "and I lead her into my room before we even get to finish the movie." He winks at her suggestively causing Lolly for laugh for the first time in three days. 

          "They we get to my room, and she loved the candles. Good call about the minimal candles, by the way. Anyway, we did the bow-chicka-bow-wow." He sang the last part. "I didn't give her the outfit, because she wouldn't have fit into it, but that doesn't matter to be because she's perfect." 

          Lolly looked up and saw Jake leaning against a cupcake display with a love struck expression. She smiled sadly. She really hoped Melody doesn't break his heart.

          She walked away and called over her shoulder. "So, what brings you here, lover boy?" 

        "Condoms." 

          Lolly choked on her spit, and redness spread down her neck. "Didn't need to know that." she muttered. Jake just laughed.

          There was a knock on Lolly's door before she even had time to set her bags down. She wondered who was there because she rarely got any visitors. "Coming!" she yelled before taking two big steps towards the door. 

          Without checking the peep hole, she opened it to see a very guilty looking Chuck.

          A squeak left her lips and she reacted fast by slamming the door in his face.