Finding Hope (a Zayn Malik fanfic)

Chapter 1 - Breakup

Zayn's POV

It's cold and dark outside. I don't know where I am.
My vision is blurry and I keep having ongoing sharp chest pains as if someone is stabbing my chest with a knife.

My body feels cold, my heart is racing. I feel like I'm about to pass out. At this point I would rather die than go through this pain. This is way worse than death.

That's when I realise that this is the last time I'm taking it. I never want to have any of that stuff near me again - even though it's highly addictive.

I keep trying to call my girlfriend Hana. She won't answer.
Hana was supposed to meet me a long time ago.
I've been trying to reach her for the past half hour now but she doesn't give a shit about me and what I'm going through.

She's the one that has had me hooked on drugs since we've been going out. I think it's partly her fault that I'm in this much pain right now.
I try ringing Hana again....still no answer.

That's when I decide to give up and go home.
Even though I'm at a park close to my house I have no idea where the fuck I'm going. My vision is too blurry to figure out where to go.

My phone starts buzzing in my pocket. I glance over at the phone screen to see Hana trying to call me.
I answer. 'Hana, where the fuck are you? You were supposed to meet me a about an hour ago'.

'I'm kind of busy with something right now, I'll text you later'.
I can barely hear her from the phone. My ears keep ringing. Even my hearing doesn't feel right.
'Hana, you know that I am high right now, you were supposed to come meet me and help me. I really need you right now'.

'I'm sorry Zayn but now is not the time. Just take care of yourself '.
'Are you fucking serious? Don't you know that I'm stranded in a fucking park at 4am in the morning, high on meth and I don't know where I am?'
My voice cracks at the last words of my sentence since my chest is killing me.

'So what? You'll find your way back home yourself, I'm fucking high on this shit all the time and I can figure things out-' she pauses.
'You've taken meth so many times now, you should be use to it just like I am'.

Used to it? That still doesn't give her an excuse to ignore me, do nothing to help and refuse to meet me.
'Fine then, Hana! I hope you enjoy doing whatever the fuck is more important than helping your boyfriend'.
'Zayn, I-' I hang up on her. I've had enough of her.
She's basically been making my life full of shit for the past eight months we've been together.

Since we've been dating, she's been dragging me down into her fucked up life...and now my life is just as fucked up as hers.

There was a time where I use to have a normal life before I met Hana. I hung out with the good crowd of people, did well in school and at work.
But once I met Hana, everything went downhill.

Since she was hanging out with people from gangs and being associated with them, she had me become friends with them too.
I became a drug addict, committed some crimes and dealing weed at some point too.

Now I don't think I even want to be affiliated in that environment anymore.

Lately I've been having thoughts about breaking up with Hana - but at the same time, I love her. I wouldn't know what I would do without her in my life.

I'm pacing around, still not knowing where I am. A cool breeze of wind brushes past me, making me feel like I can breath properly again.
Although I'm still in so much pain.

Just a few hours ago I was puffing on a meth pipe with Hana back at our friend's house.
Once we got high, Hana needed to head home for something she wasn't even telling me about.