Sukor - Not All Roses

Chapter 8 - The Confessions

"Jeez!! You alright??" she asked looking at him who smiled dreamily... "I am tired" He simply said as he walked in the middle of the road and sitting

Chakor watched jaw dropped, she quickly rushed to him hoping no car goes by that way "God!!!! The heck do you think you're doing??? Get up and lets go!" She said looking at her surrounding wishing for help ,' just someone please god'

He continued sitting shaking his head violently just like Avya does when she is stubborn about something, She had a mad wish to leave him to his fate but why the hell couldn't she??? "I hate clubbing" SHe mustered angrily down her breath looking at Suraj who kept on smiling gullibly at her

She gulped and looked at him again, with Avya whenever she had these tantrums fits all she had to do was sit by her side and try to convince her otherwise but would that ever work on a drunk stubborn jerk, she was lost in her thoughts when she heard him mumble words like " I am a loser am weaker than a beggar, atleast beggars know what they're seeking for but I" he stopped shaking his head vigorously "nothing!! I don't even know what I want anymore" He shrugged giving himself a look of being incredible weak for real.

She pursed her lips feeling a rush of pity for him but then she clenched her fist Who knew what was he lamenting about' perhaps about Imli grinding against other man, and she was surely not one who was gonna sit and give love advice to the guy who broke her whether he wished to do it or not, she was about to turn on her heels and leave him to his fate, when all of a sudden she heard cries and her name

"I din't mean to Chakor, I tried...Trust me ...do you trust me??" He raised his head showing his eyes filled with tears and yes he looked even more vulnerable than Avya at that moment and her heart unwantedly clenched just the way it does when Avya is in pain or cries, she had no idea why though

Without waiting for her reply he continued , his head facing the ground again " NO you don't!! I can't even blame you, I break everything you do? I am that jinx, I broke my father's expectations, I broke my mother's trust, I broke my brother's heart, I broke you completely and worst of it all... I broke my own chance of being a father to an angel" She didn't really care about the rest but his last words were her breaking point when her own tears wetted her eyes

"It's way too late" She said not caring if it would hurt him, she was stoned bitter but as those words reached her ears, she couldn't believe if it were her own?? What did she turn into? Another Suraj? Who didn't care about others...

"I kn0w!!!!!" He yelled ... "Believe me I know ...you are perfect dammit you will never know what's being average" He said defending himself, his mind were too dark to even rationalize his words

She looked in her surrounding feeling suffocated, they were in middle of the road, the only sound were of music coming from the club, she wished to leave him but at the same time she wished to hear what he had to say , perhaps this will give her the peace she deserved but then his words and vulnerable voice started making her more restless like he din't actually deserve the pain , like perhaps she didn't help him well to understand the gravity when she could , she just threw the news of being a father to an immature guy who at that time was blinded by his so called 'love' but could that justify his reckless attitude , his constant 'get rid of it' option

"I have been the Average Rajvanshi Chakor , Ever since I was a kid my mother played the perfect housewife, but her main priority was my father, my father he had only one objective, I should be the best at business but as you know I wasn't the brightest crayon when it came to studying, Bhagya could befriend a wall, Vivaan he could do everything concerning arts and music my whole damn life I spent trying...Trying to be perfect ...but I always felt this void inside of me you know" He said looking at Chakor again unknown that she knew exactly that feeling when you feel that void and you just yearn for someone to come and fill that "when I saw Imli, popular cool , she treated me like I was her God when she was new...like I was her everything, how could I not have fallen for her???"

"I had finally found someone who made me her priority" Chakor was trying to understand him for once while looking at his tears which kept on rolling down his cheeks , " but then even that was snatched from me when you snitched about me? Remember?" He asked childishly pouting his lips, while Chakor could only nod in return , of course she remembered that was the reason he hated her, because she had to complain about them ... 

"That week, Vivaan proposed to Imli while I was 'grounded' I felt like I lost my only hope because of you , I hated you... I started teasing you bullying you but even then while you were this shy and innocent girl you never took my shits and always gave it back ... I was enjoying it you know" He smiled through his teary face bringing a smile to Chakor's too unknown to her, this was the first time Suraj was the reason of her real smile , she was reminiscing the old days, it was torturous but for her it was actually someone other than Bhagya acknowledging her presence even if it was just for teasing or bullying her, Chakor felt of having an existence in high school because of him , kind of crazy how she never saw the positive factors that now his words were causing her to

Get up, she bent over and tried to pull him, feeling her touch on his arms which were cold now having stayed soo long outside

"Nooo!! I don't want too, I told you I am tired" He insisted but now that he felt Chakor's grip on his arms , it felt like a cord in his heart rang hard, perhaps being drunk doesn't only affect your mind, it affects your heart too

She left a heavy sigh , glaring at him, he was HEAVY, Stubborn and now she knew where did Avya get all those genes, she was twice a pregnant lady when pregnant with Avya, she thought that she was gonna have an army of kid, "Seriously... now I know who to curse for my heavy pregnant days" She murmured angrily

"How was it?? How were you??" He asked curiously his eyes trailed to her now flat stomach imagining how was she pregnant with Avya, he smiled again now having the whole virtual image... "You must have been a pretty Pregnant lady" He said dreamily

She rolled her eyes, leaving his arm... flirting while being drunk, her mind angrily went to the time they slept together, "Typical"

Feeling the lost of her grip, he looked at her again, the moonlight reflecting on her face like 4 years back... 

"I avoided the moon for 4 years" He said slowly confusing her

"Why? Are you some kind of wolf? Scared to shapeshift?" She joked sarcastically now growing tired of him

"Not really but the moon remined me of you... you seem really compatible with the moon, perhaps that's why your parents named you chakor" She pursed her lips wishing deeply not to smile because of him, he had hurt her way too much

"Am leaving Suraj, I don't care what happens to you" she said now having really had enough

"I feel suffocated to go back can you drop me home?" He asked innocently, knowing she will blandly refuse but she didn't , she just took a deep breath and said "Okay"

He stood up, swaying , she wished to help him but her ego preventing her from doing it

She walked to her car as he followed her, taking the passenger seat , she drove her car feeling his constant gaze on herself, she had no idea why was that bothering her, perhaps being alone with Suraj in a car sparkled back that night...she was thankful and irritated when he finally broke the silence

"Do you hate me?"He said in a small voice, a question which never thought of, did she hate him? Actually no she din't , though his immaturity caused her a lot of trouble but she can't forget Avya is part of Her and Suraj on top of that she could never hate him for unknown reason, angry yes, dislike his attitude yes, hated his decisions yes but hated him? No

"No" just a simple no and he din't ask for anymore, he simply laid his head back and closed his eyes feeling like a huge burden was lifted off him

No longer feeling his eyes at him, she looked at him, his face actually looked he was at peace now, his hairs lengthy by his forehead covering the stress lines that formed, and god knows what went by her but she felt like stopping the car and run his fingers along the hairs and relax his forehead, realizing her thought she stopped the car abruptly, waking him up his daze

"you alright?" He asked

"it's too late" Was her only response, his mind way too intoxicated to realize the meaning behind her words, while she swallowed her newly discovered affection, this was unreal, you can't feel affection for someone who hurt you beyond limits, perhaps it was the revelation of his insecurities, yeah, it was only pity not affection just pity