chapter 1

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Day 30: May 20th

Laying on the floor of the basement I realized how worthless I am.

Breathe, sleep, eat a never ending cycle.

But as my time disintegrated second by second I realized what life really meant.

It's a cruel game.

A sort of "survival of the fittest" type of game the gods descended upon the earth to mock us human beings.

We are in this world to rot.

And they know that.
They understand the concept that what you do or say won't matter in the end.

So who is this they I'm talking about?

Honestly I've known them for about a month now, and I'm still not particularly sure who they are either.

All I know is that they saved me from the life I once knew. A life full of evil and wrong doings. These crimes committed by the people around me.

Over time I found out that they had no intention of saving me.

They were playing a similar version of this game. Trust me I knew this version very well. It was similar to the game my own parents played.

This time I had no ties to them. No rules saying that I had to forgive and forget their previous actions because of "blood relation".

I hadn't known these players.

They were new to my game.

And they were not afraid to cheat to get ahead.

They were no friends of mine. Infact they were enemies. Enemies that would try anything to break my spirit.

And they did.

But, I am still deciding whether I am done or not.

Do I want to die? The anwser has always been yes. But, there is something still holding me to this world.

I'm sure of what I want to do now.

I want to.....

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