Abnormal

1

I never thought growing up would be this difficult. Now I'm starting to hate every second of it.

Bill and I both turned 14 two months ago. I barely realise the changes taking place in my body and my mind. The only definite thing is that I have interest in the boys in a sexual way which seems to somewhat bother Bill. He hangs out with the girls all the time. Like literally whenever I run into him at school, I see more than two girls around him. I don't really care what he is doing with his life though. It only distresses me when he acts hypocratical about dating. And he is not the only one doing this in our family.

Basically whatever I do to reveal my sexual relations with the guys around me becomes a problem. I get weird stares from all my brothers if I choose to wear anything that may be considered sexy. My outfits are not even usually appealing, they are just comfortable to wear like shorts, minis, tights and sometimes a bit revealing dresses. Oh, I wish the clothing were the only pressure for me. It is even more of a nuisance when I have a boyfriend. Alex wants me to inform him every single thing about my boyfriends and goes as far as to question them personally. Gustaf once took me to my date himself and watched us chat and flirt at a table in a restaurant for half an hour. And Bill... Jesus I don't know what is wrong with him. We were our best friends throughout our childhood. He was always there to protect me even from my own stupidities. Things have changed a lot since those times. The older we got the more he became a jerk. I don't think I'll ever forget that he once grabbed my ass and idioticly grinned when I yelled at him to take his hands off me. He hasn't dared to repeat that incident which is a relief but he got in the habit of insulting me if he caught me alone. His favourites are "whore" and "cocksucker" I guess. I heard them many times.

Do I have any thing not to complain about in my current situation? Ahh it's my baby Lucas. I completely adore that blonde beauty I'm so jealous of. We know each other for 2 years and started dating when he told me about his gradually developed feelings which were mutual. It has been less than a month since but we're not moving slowly. I just want to experience all the things I'll do one day with him. Although, thanks to my protective brothers, I don't generally have enough opportunities.