Four Little Words

They always say

You'll be fine

There was no other way

And I didn't meet their eyes

Because they don't know

How it feels

The pain may not show

But it's tearing me apart inside

I might seem fine

On the outside

But my actions are deceiving

Because I am broken inside

No one would know

That was the benefit

But now I know

It is my greatest sin

Why did I listen?

It was all they told me

Why didn't I trust Him?

Because I refused to believe

And now I'll never be the same

The guilt and regret is a part of me

No excuses to be made

I see all the pain on my tear-stained face

Lies was all they told me

But I was never right

From the cruel truth I cannot flee

I'll never see those young faces the same way

So instead of sacrifice

Was my painful mistake

My sorry will never suffice

For the life I took away

Now I'm falling steadily

Down this relentless slope

Of guilt and sorrowful agony

For I was without hope

Until that day

When all was still

And I listened

Was this His will?

For when I stood there

I saw for the first time

His holy face so pure and bare

And she called to me in my mind

I forgive you, Mama