heart break

chapter one

I have started a blog to get all the shit out of my life so here it is .

I started a day with the same routine, around 9:00 I would wake up go on my phone check all of my social media then when I've done , I climb out of bed put on a jumper and slippers and go down stairs to the warm smiles of my wonderful family,well not all of it my brothers always in bed till half one. I sit on the couch next to our dog Poppy my dad wanted to call it Wilfred but my mother got a girl there was a big debate on what we should call her then I said Poppy my mother was delisted at my choice of name by the way my name is Chloe Grace most people call me chlo or just Chloe so though out this I will tell you all the shit in my life and more.

I'm so glad to be writing this as I have not said much to friends about my dissorder. I have a mental disorder which is eating me up inside. Its called depression but the only person which has saved me from myself is Harry styles my boyfriend, we both live in Cheshire I live in Holmes Chapel and so does he. We have been dating since primary school and all through high school we went to prom together it was great I wore a pink dress with dimontes and Harry wore a black suit and a pink tie to match my dress. People say we are the star crossed lovers, because I'm shy and he is really out going.

My mother knew there was something wrong with me when I was 13 and I would stare in the mirror and think about what it would be like be thin and have a nice ass and be curvy. I would stand there for hours thinking about how it would be nice to look like a Victoria's secret model. It took over my life. My mother wanted me to see a docter but I thought I was fine. Then it really kicked off I got called an attention seeker which set me off thinking maybe I am, So I started to self harm I put myself in a really fucking dark place and I was horrid I had random fights with Harry over it he would kiss my arms and my thighs, until my worst enemy found out and tried to tear Harry out of my life which teared me apart I cried my self to sleep most nights. I couldn't stop it was my mind taking my body over it was horrible but it happened. It also gave me anger problems which I am over know people would say stuff about me and I would just flip. I would get taken out of classes because I would hit the table until my fists were coved in blood, the teachers knew about it which made me want to hit my head against tables. Only Harry could calm me down which was pressure on him. I got isolated once because I made my head bleed and I hit a book at a teacher which wasn't good. Harry knew about it and I felt so bad for him he had to put up with a angry girl 24 7 who self harms and gets pissed off easily.

Harry once asked me to live with him but I refused I couldn't put any more pressure on him I hated what I had done already without doing any more damage. So that's pretty much my background not that great but I hope my life will get better from here now I have spilled the beans.

(Remember this is only fiction and I am sorry if you do suffer with anger or depression.)