Flowers~Iwaoi Oneshots~

Carnation

-I'll never forget you-

The school had gathered everyone in the auditorium for an announcement. Iwaizumi sat in between Hanamaki and Matsukawa, he turned to the pink-haired boy "Do you know what this is about?"

Makki shook his head. Iwaizumi turned to look at the auditorium doors again 'Where the hell is Oikawa?' he thought. 

"Oikawa didn't come to school today." Matsunn said from Iwaizumi's right.

"Oh." Iwaizumi frowned, "Is he sick?"

Mattsun shrugged "I thought you would know."

Just then the principal walked on the stage. He picked up the microphone, the entire room fell silent. The principal cleared his throat "Today morning," he said solemnly "we received the news that one of our students has passed away."

Iwaizumi froze a sudden terror ran through his body.

"I am sorry to inform you that, Oikawa Toru has died. Our thoughts and sympathies are with his family..."

Iwaizumi's heart missed a beat and he forgot how to breathe.

"...it was a suicide death. Rumors may surface but please do not spread them..."

Iwaizumi clapped his hands over his ears he did not want to hear it. "No." He whispered, it couldn't be true, it couldn't! All around him everyone was standing up but he barely noticed. Less than two minutes later the three third-years are the only ones left.

Makki sobbed quietly "It's not true!"

Mattsun sat in his seat stiller than a statue.

Iwaizumi stood up on shaky legs, he stumbled past Makki who got up and followed him.

Iwaizumi walked outside.

Then he punched the wall.

"Why dammit?!" He cursed loudly. Makki turned and wrapped his arms around Mattsun. Mattsun hugged the other boy back, biting his lip. Tears rolled down his face, dripping onto Makki's hair.

The three third years did not go to class, but it was canceled anyways.

The three third years did not move even when the sun started setting.

The three third years did not leave until Coach Irihata kicked them out.

And still, the three third years did not go home.

***

They found themselves in front of Oikawa's house. Each of them hoping that if they knocked their loud energetic captain would open the door and smile at them. 

Iwaizumi knocked.

For a long while there was no answer, Iwaizumi raised his hand and knocked again, louder this time.

Oikawa's mother opened the door. Her eyes were red and her cheeks tear-stained. Wordlessly she stepped forward and wrapped Iwaizumi in a hug. Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around her, and felt a new wave of tears. 

They stood in the doorway for two minutes before they moved inside. Iwaizumi, Makki and Mattsun sat around the table silently. Oikawa's mother picked up an envelope from the counter, she handed it to Iwaizumi. On the front in shaky writing it said 'To Iwa-chan', Iwaizumi looked up at Mrs.Oikawa with wide eyes "He left it for you." She said hoarsely.

Iwaizumi looked down at the little white envelope, then he flipped it over inserting his finger under the flap. He pulled out the piece of paper inside. 

'Dear Iwa-chan,

Please forgive me. I'm so sorry, I can't do it. I'm too weak. I know you probably want to know why I'm doing this, but before I say anything please, please, do not blame yourself. 

My story isn't some kind of  thing you see in a book. There was no school bully, there's nobody who made me do this besides myself. There is one-sided love but I won't tell you about that, because even though I'm dead I'm still a coward. Believe it or not this started with volleyball. Ironic isn't it? That the thing I loved more than anything is what started this. The day Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa I went home and I re-watched their match. Then I re-watched ours, the one we lost in, and I started thinking that it was my fault. I studied every minute I recognized so many things, so many choices that I could have made, so many ways that we could have won. And then watching Tobio-chan and Shrimpy play their next matches against schools I've never even heard off...It hurt to see how far they've come. Why couldn't I do that? Why couldn't I make it? Why wasn't I good enough?

Schoolwork piled onto the regret about the matches. Before I even knew it I was drowning, I felt horribly guilty for our loss, I struggled to look all of you in the eye. My teachers were yelling at me for all the schoolwork I was behind on but I didn't care. Then I made the largest mistake of my life. I fell in _______________.'

Iwaizumi frowned wondering what Oikawa wanted to say and why he had just drawn a line instead.

' Once again Iwa-chan please remember that none of this is your fault. I know this seems like an incomplete story but , to put it simply, I gave up. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of my goal and I gave up. I know that I seem like a coward for dying, I know that everyone's facing their own fight...but I've lost mine.

It may be selfish of me, but I hope that you will still be happy. I hope that you will live and survive, and that this will make you stronger. And, I hope that you won't think too negatively of me.

Goodbye Hajime, please take care of everyone for me.

Oh, and please tell Makki and Mattsun goodbye for me.

Love, 

Oikawa Toru'

Iwaizumi raised a hand to cover his mouth, tears streamed down his cheeks "Toru..." He whispered. 

***

Two years later

Hajime Iwaizumi sat on his bed gripping a note in his hand. It had been two years since Oikawa had overdosed. Hajime stared at the lined paper in his hand, sighing he folded it up and put it back in the envelope. That's when he saw it, on the back of the envelope in the bottom left in tiny, almost unreadable handwriting; 'I love you.'

******

Author's Note:

So I'm not very good at writing sentimental stuff about feelings and all that jazz, so I'll keep this short:

The inspiration to write this came from something that just happened in my school. I didn't know the student personally but the entire school's atmosphere has changed, and I just want to remind everyone that there is always someone there for you. And as someone who has won their fight I want you to know that it is worth it to keep fighting. 

If any of you ever want or need to talk, or even if you just need somebody to listen, then please, please reach out to me.

Sometimes it can be very helpful to get a stranger's objective opinion.

-Listy