The Bad Boy's Nerd

Chapter Four

"And who was that fine young man you were talking to? Hmm?" My mother asked just as I closed the car door. Her eyes were practically sparkling. I bet she was already planning my wedding. I rolled my eyes. "No one mother, an insignificant being that I refuse to associate myself with. Now, what flavor ice cream did you get?" I went to examine the bag next to my feet when she slapped my hand.

I gasped. "I will call social services!" I declared, holding my hand to my chest and quivering my bottom lip. She continued to pull out of the school lot.

"Okay," she said, deadpan. "It'd be nice if the leftovers didn't disappear every night." I gasped again, "Mother! There is an unspoken rule that whatever is eaten in the night between 11pm and 3am is not to be discussed!"

She chuckled, "I wouldn't discuss it if it wasn't happening every night!" I glared, "We are DROPPING this topic!"

"Oh terrific! Lets go back to the matter at hand, that astonishing hot boy you were talking to." I groaned, dragging my hands down my face. "Mom!"

"No? Should we talk about how my electric razor has mysteriously disappeared instead?" A moment of silence. I looked out the window and murmured, "I don't know his name. He opened my locker for me and was just saying bye when you shouted." My face must have resembled a tomato. She is too good.

"Oh my, he helped you with your locker? Isn't that chivalrous and gentlemen like? He is a keeper for sure! Invite him to dinner, I have to meet my future son-in-law!" My eyes were bugging out of my head. "W-w-wh- excuse me?! Invite him to dinner?! Fu-future son-in-law?!" I stuttered.

"That smug bastard did not HELP me open my locker, he just opened it and was nothing but an absolute jerk! If you think I'll have dinner with that shmuc-"

"Oh honey I was only teasing! Lighten up!" My words died in my throat, my breaths calming down. Yes, yes, she was only teasing.

"But I do expect him to be at dinner tomorrow night, I'll make my famous meatloaf." She sounded so happy with herself.

"Moooom, you cannot invite some random guy to our house! He is a stranger! Haven't you heard the saying, stranger danger?! And like I said, that bastard is so not worth talking to! He certainly does not deserve your meatloaf!"

"Now Alexis, did that boy help you open your locker or not?" She asked in a annoyingly measured tone.

"He opened it, but I mean-"

"So he helped you, yes? You needed it open and he did just that right?" She turned into our drive way and put the car in park.

"I meeeean, technically he did I guess...." I waved my hands in the air, ready to make my case again.

"WELL," She stated," Then there it is. He helped you on your first day of high school, you, my precious daughter. How can I not show my gratitude?" She looked at me with a pointed look, oh god no. "Tell him six o'clock okay? Now lets get inside and eat this ice cream! Its vanilla, your favorite!" And then she was out of the car, bag in hand.

I sat there for several seconds. "Lets bow our heads and remember Alexis, the girl who had such a bright future ahead of her. It is such a shame she died from UTTER EMBARESSMENT!" I screamed, thrashing my arms and legs.

Several more seconds went by. I got out the car and took a breath, at least there's ice cream.