Modern Chameleons

Lost Facades and Gained Strangers

She was glowing in that flickering light. The center of my universe, I was in orbit around her. I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I knew she would be my end but oh, what a beautifully tragic end for me to have; of all the last things to see before I went down in flames, she would be  forever seared into my retinas. So I took a step towards her, she shone with her flashing grin and animated posture. She was surrounded by admirers. They circled her like sharks. Yet instead of hunting her they coveted her and prevented any lowlifes like myself from getting too close. I was going to change my place in the pecking order tonight. I began to weave my way into the throng of hostile territory but the further I went the faster my heart began to beat. As if the blood within my veins was trying to run fast enough to escape the situation. Hesitation became an incessant tap on my shoulder and I stopped myself and paused just outside her hemmed in domain. She looked up from the disruption in the periphery of her eye; she looked through me. And suddenly I realized her eyes held nothing for me; there wasn't a spark of curiosity in her expression, just disinterested apathy. And as if in a trance I turned away again, back out from the ebbing light. Away from the bubble of body heat and the attention seekers, the mindless worshippers. The further I went the heavier the cold of reality settled into my skin, the faster the snowflakes landed in my hair. Realization hit me like a brick wall: in a perfect world she would be a perfect person for me. But perfect worlds don't exist and in this one I would not allow myself to break over a figurine of perfection. Especially when I knew that her glow was just a product of the dark atmosphere around her and the fire in her proximity; when I knew that I would end up disappointed as she inevitably turned out to be human, and not some supernova. I needed a reality check. It was time to get high on something real for a change. I reached the street where snow banked up on the sides after the plows had come through the previous morning. I looked down at my jeans and boots then up at the sky as flurries drifted languidly to the ground, and a smirk bloomed across my face.

    My hand was on the door to my car when I noticed another form huddled on the front stairs of the house I was leaving. Another product of the cold night, isolated by wishes too big to be set up on high shelves.

    "Hey!" I yelled

    "Hey yourself!" The female voice yelled back quick and bitingly like she'd been waiting to be addressed.

    My eyebrows raised in surprise I was expecting a male voice to answer my call. I was pretty sure that we were wearing the same coat.

"How are you this evening?" I tossed back nonchalantly.

"Like a doormat, how about you?" She stands up and walks towards me so we aren't shouting so much as talking. As she nears I realize that I know her, kind of. I had known her for years in that way you instantly begin to recognize a face from catching glances of it often. But that was as deep as my attachment to her went, noticing the symmetry of her delicate features, when I'd pass her in the hall, every time I'd forgotten them over a summer or holiday break.

    "I relate to that way too much, I'm Henry by the way. It's nice to meet you—-?" I paused, maybe this would get me somewhere with the semi-stranger.

    "Vera." She extends her hand and gives mine a surprisingly firm shake with her frozen fingers.

    "Are you busy?" I figured I may as well offer to invite her along at least out of politeness...and there wasn't ever going to be a time more opportune to take chances than the early hours of the morning, when anything is possible.

    "Do I look busy? What kind of plans do I have that would leave me sitting out in the freezing cold?" Her eye contact was more direct than I was prepared for, maybe a stranger was more than I was ready to handle. But did I let that hesitation stop me? Not tonight, not for a second.