euphoria ⊰ taekook

1 ❁ yoongi is actually going to school

Taehyung stared through his bedroom window, it drizzled with rain. The light rain had resulted into a downpour in which Taehyung definitely didn't look forward to travelling for school in. Sometimes, he'd wish to transition to the gushing waters that made its way into the drains and just dissolve in there.

Maybe reincarnate into something peaceful, beautiful and more carefree than what he was living. Where he was living.

Taehyung despised being at home, he lived with a twisted father whom was a psychological liar. An impairment man with complete importality. As a young boy, Taehyung's father had convinced him that he had nothing to do with the death of his mother.

If Taehyung believed for a second, that his father had any involvement, he was said to be completely delusional. His father had told him the story a million times on how she died from a 'Severe neck damage' due to a 'high fall'. Whatever Taehyung's father said, goes. There was no discussion or challenging this.

Yet as Taehyung grew up, thoughts unravelled in his mind of dreadful flashbacks. Flashbacks that he persuaded his mind to not believe. But he couldn't help it. There was no way to dilute the principal of truthfulness that he was constantly reminded of in the back of his head.

He'd sometimes get the thought of his father shoving a plastic bag in her head, as he dragged her to their garage. Her screeching, gasping for air throughout the process. He flinched at the thought of her voice, begging for mercy.

He remembered never hearing from her the next day. No ambulanc sitens, please or neighbours asking about her, just nothing, only his father's words to explain the story.

It was as if nothing truly happened.

Taehyung would usually clear these intrusive thoughts in his head and convince himself he was just hallucinating. Maybe that was a symptom of trauma.

Because I mean seriously, why would his father murder his mother? That's just absurd.

Sure they had their differences.

There was infidelity, financial strains, his fathers alcoholism and violence. But most would argue that most parents have these sorts of issues in modern day society, marriage isn't always easy. But to murder your own wife?

Taehyung couldn't envisage that.

But then he could.

The memory just cycled over and over again, he had no control of it. It haunted him. Through his teenage years, the boy had fell into a severe depression. It was based on the fear of his father, lack of relationship with him and not having any family to really connect with anymore since his mother's death.

He didn't have any siblings either, so he couldn't help but feel rather alone in this big world sometimes.

He did have his friends, like Jimin and Yoongi of course, whom he had known since middle school. But he had always felt deprived of true happiness. Real happiness. It didn't exist in Taehyung's world and he didn't know what to do to fix it.

Most nights, he would just cry himself to sleep, it was the only way to take the pain away of feeling so devoid.

He felt so disoriented to the point that he'd slit his smooth wrists until they spilled with blood. And with that, he felt somewhat content with the pain. After all, it was a feeling. It wasn't a good feeling, but it was better than feeling nothing at all.